Hi hun, hope you're ok big hugs
I was diagnosed with PND when my little one was about 10 months. I felt all the same things and part of it spanned from the birth of my LO, complications etc
I became very isolated, had no self-estee in public and felt like everyone was constantly watching how I was with my child, the house was falling apart around me and so were me and OH. I became so terified that I was a bad mother, I would break down into fits of tears and felt so lonely. I was so scared to tell anyone how I really felt. Then months down the line I eventually explained to my amazing OH how I really felt. He helped me seek advice. I made a call to the Dr, I had to get there that day or I knew I would never go. I spoke with a female Dr. She referred me to a councellor and she was amazing. She came every week and gradully over a few months I gained the strength back to be me a different me, but me. It will change you, it will make you stronger
Please don't be worried that your baby will be taken away, this will not happen. You are not a bad mum, you sound so caring towards your LO. But I strongly advise you to get help now while it's in the early stages. You will be so surprised as to how much help there is out there, and PND is much more common than most women think.
You will be fine, I found just being able to off load on a stranger who will not judge help me so much, a huge weight was lifted.
Just take it a step at a time you won't feel a 100% over night but just admitting it is the first and hardest step I promise you. Little steps like making sure you get out of the house everyday if possible even to pop to the shop or a walk round the block, getting dressed everyday will help you begin to feel in control. Also joining a parent and baby group to meet others going through what your going through will be a big help. In regards to housework, it will never been perfect again having a LO will ensure that especially when they are still so young. But don't be afraid to ask for help, even if a family mamber(mum maybe) or a friend could pop round and give you a help with house work or to watch LO while you have a whizz round the house. ake time for you when possible, just having a soak in the bath, a cuppa and a mag etc and try to have daily tie with your OH. I know that may see crazy, but a cuddle and kiss aday and a chat to catch up on how each others doing is so important when you both get wrapped up in everything else.
I hope you are ok please stay strong, you will get through this and just know that If you ever need to chat you can always PM me, we are all here to support you. Danielle xx
