Oliver is no better, though we have just started using gripewater so we'll see how that goes. Also considering changing his formula..thats our last hope really.

As far as the OH is concerned its getting worse. He came home from work yesterday and started playing on his xbox. In the meantime im running around like a headless chicken stressing out because theres someone at the door, the dinners burning, Olivers screaming and needs a bath and feed etc. Tell me why i should have to do all this? I understand he has been at work and entitled to a rest but in a sence so have i?!

Anyway my OH must have noticed i was struggling to do everything at once as i was getting really flusterd but he never once offerd to help with the tea whilest i sorted oliver or vice versa. Infact i even said to him that Oliver is hungry and he went all arsy and said sorry, couldnt talk right now he was 'busy'

In the meantime Oliver is really screaming and Oh turned around and said to his mate who he was playing on xbox live with- "Sorry mate, dunno why i even bother trying to play this with him around!" in a real pissed off tone. So i lost it and told him i didnt know why he even bothing trying to be a dad as its obvious whats more important! I then added hes lucky to get 5mins to play on the damn thing at all and have any 'me' time cus i dont! He basically replied that he's been at work all day and was entitled to it- am i not also!?

I shouted at him that its too much for me to do everything, i get no thanx for it and ive had enough, im leaving him. I dunno if i actually ment it cus i was angry but OH never reacted-just carried on playing. With that i started packing. He soon came running upstairs and unpacked our things and said i could leave but i aint taking HIS son-he never wanted him a few days ago!

i ended up walking out..when i came back OH sat next to me and held my hand, stroked my hair, but never said a word. Now hes pretty much acting as if nothing was said. but theres loadsa tension and an atmosphere.

i dont know what to do. we cant go on like this-it aint fair on any of us especially Ollie. i cant understand why OH is like this as when ollie was first born he couldnt do enough for us! i feel so lonely and isolated-im miserable. i feel like we cant make each other happy anymore. i love him, but its like we just together cus we kind of have to be. xx

i am so sorry you have to go through this.
it didnt sound like he was pulling his weight much. if you could sit down and have a conversation, i think you need to make it clear you need help and come up with a schedule together. maybe hes feeling overwhelmed too but he needs to help you. i think him sitting next to you was his way of saying he was sorry but not knowing how so maybe this is your chance to have that convo.

i hope things get better for you soon

oh hun i really dont know what to say and cant imagine how hard it must be for you. Perhaps see if some one can take Oliver for you for a few hours one evening so you can sit and discus things.

I have no real advise but didnt want to read and run.

I hope you get this sorted asap hun as i can imagine its no fun feeling the way you do.

We're all here for you though

Xx

I just wanted to say I'm sorry you have to go through all this. Like the other girls said, maybe you guys should take some time to talk about things. Men usually have a hard time understanding anything. I hope everything works out for you though.

The selfish twat! Sorry to be so blunt! I know girls have said maybe he needs to adjust etc etc but sorry its just not on takes 2 of you to adjust to this and care for and have patience with baby not just ONE! I get impatient with it sometimes as OH but theres always the other person there to relieve the situation for a few minutes and thats how it should be in your house I can only imagine what it is like for you. I understand in the day it may not be as hes at work and fair play but how many hours of the 24 do you attend to LO? Your both busy one with work outside the house and one caring for a newborn baby I'd say his job is easier the cheeky git! I'd have stamped on his darn xbox, no joke!

Sorry thats negative & blunt but he needs to get a grip and quickly. To me hes belittled you infront of his pal and theres another thing I'd have kicked him out!

You really need some support here in so many ways and if its not at home hun pack your bags and go and get some help with your Mum (or someone close) where you can also care but get some rest you need it!! And it may be his son so he may start acting like a father when he realises what hes got to loose but the point of going away for a couple of days isn't for that reason but for your own physical, emotional & mental state just might help him realise it which will be bonus.

I am so sorry to read your last few posts in this section over the last week

hun, I'm so sorry youre OH is being such a twat.

In our house the roles are reversed, I work full time & OH stays @ home with our 3 kids ( 6yrs 3 yrs & 9 months). I know its a bit different being a mommy, but my me time is late @ night once babies in bed, packed lunches for me & DS done etc.

When I come home OH is cooking tea, I get changed, & spend time with kids. Put the oldest 2 to bed about 7.30 - 8pm, then give little one bedtime feed & cuddles ( often sat @ pc). Try to get baby to bed @ 9pm. Then I get time to do my stuff.

Weekends are spent doing schoolwork, washing, putting clothes away. The main me time is the 1/2 hr in the shower on Sunday morning.

Your OH has to realise and realise quick that his son and you are now his no1 priority and "me " time is a luxary (sp) and not a right.

He needs a good kick up the rear end and needs to get his act together and stopped taking you for granted.

Huge hugs (sorry long post)

Thanks everyone for taking the time to read and reply to my post and for your honest kind words of support.

Things seem to be falling apart day by day. My poor lil boy has had 3hours sleep in the past 24 hours and i think ive probably had even less! I have tried everything to stop him crying-cuddles, bottle, nappy change, bath, winding him, rocking him,singing, playing music, rubbing his back and belly, stroking his hair, checking his temp, gave him gripe water, going for a walk in pram, swaddling, dummy, turning the hoover on etc. Nothing can stop him crying for more than 5 mins.

Ewan (my OH) still doesnt have alot of patience with Oliver at nightime. Oliver seems to be very insecure and i can understand why. He needs to feel safe, loved and in a happy environment. I feel guilty cus i feel as though he's an unhappy baby and doesnt feel safe with us. And who can blame him when mummy and daddy are fighting, miserable, frustrated and there is constantly an unpleasant atmosphere in the house. Its all our fault.

I told Ewan maybe we'd be better parents if we went our seperate ways cus its not just about us anymore. We have to put our son first. Told him i felt miserable and i wasnt getting enough support, that we didnt make each other happy and i dont feel like he feels the same way about me as he did before Oliver arrived. He never commented, just gave me a kiss on the cheek said i love you and went to work.

I havent eaten in 3days cus i dont get the chance too. Havnt even got dressed yet cus Ollie screams the second i leave the room. I dont think i can take much more. Apolligies for being so depressing girls x

hun i think u really really need a break, things will seem so much better for you and your little boy if you can get some sleep and someone else can hold him for a bit, is there no way you can go visit your mom i think u said who lives an hour away? it seems like ure just in this cycle that needs to be broken. your baby has colic and im no expert but he may carry on crying for a little bit and you might be able to deal with it better with just some rest and a hot shower and meal.

i really feel for you and wish that we could do more or say more..

Sammi...

For Colicy Babies....Sammi - Babybean

x

hun have u tried infacol? (i think thats how its spelt) i had the same problem when i had my first baby he wouldnt ever stop crying no matter what i done and i just couldnt take it no more and no amount of gripe water, dummies , hugs ect would ease his crying, so i went to the GP actually thinking he may be ill or in pain, the doc told me about infacol but wouldnt perscribe it as its an over the counter medicine, he's one of them doctors where if it aint antibiotics he dont perscribe anything, anyway i went off to the chemist and got some of it gave him a dose and what a miracle in a bottle, i just couldnt believe this stuff stopped him from crying, my son was a very colicy baby up till he was about 3-4 months old and i used infacol with him daily and i got the best nights sleep from then on and so did my son which was the main thing, im not saying this stuff will defo work for you but i think its definatly worth giving it a try hun for you and ollie x x good luck hun and what the other girls have said is very right, get some space with someone u trust and love and maybe they can look after ollie for a few hours whilst u get some rest u really need it hun x x