As this is my first Im not yet a font of knowledge about what it will actually be like to care for a newborn - under normal circumstances I dont have any qualms, Im quite looking forward to finding out and being a mum.
However, at 9weeks pg I fell from my horse and tore the ligaments in my right shoulder. Only 14 weeks post injury Ive just had repeat xrays and there is already fairly bad calcification in shoulder - not usually seen like this for at least 18 months post injury.

Anyway, they wouldnt operate straight away as 1st tri is too dangerous. I visited my consultant this week and he isnt confident operating in 2nd tri (ie now) and he wants to arrange surgery for the end of the year. The longer they leave it the worse the calcification gets - with the risk of requring a complete shoulder replacement if it gets that bad - Im only 28!

My arm is pretty useless atm, I can drive now (automatic) and thats about it... I cant even hold a pen or open a door with my right arm. I can just about wave and I dont require a sling anymore.

So Im boviously not going to cope with a newborn - I have pain but is managed without medication (I just put up with it!) as I dotn want to harm our little girl.

Consultant has booked me in for a pre-op on 24th Nov (baby is due 3rd Nov, but due to a genetic disorder they will likely book us in early depending on the results of my 34 week scan), with the intention of operating 1 week later... Im beginning to worry as I want to breastfeed and I will have to wear a sling for min 8 weeks post op.
Is it mad to think I could do this?! I worry that our breastfeeding will go up the spout - but then surely it would be easier to get baby into a routine around my rehab? The hospital said apart from the first 24hours post surgery that I can be put on a maternity ward so baby can stay with me for the 7 days Ill be in hospital.
She will be lighter and easier for me to handle the younger she is and I worry if they operate next year (when LO is 6 months or so) then Ill struggle even more as she will require more attention and will probably wonder why mummy isnt there/is unable to do things Ive done since she was born?!

Im rambling a bit now but I hope you get the jist and any advice would be greatly appreciated

Oh gosh, what a dilemma! I'm really not sure to be honest. You will obviously be severely restricted in what you can do once you've had surgery. It will be painful and like you said, will be in a sling for 8 weeks. This is a really long time in baby world! You clearly need it doing, so it sounds like youa re in a catch 22 situation. Do you have a really supportive family network? You wil need tonnes of help afterwards and this would be great. As for breastfeeding, I'm really not sure how this will work. You really need the use of both arms I would say (although I may be wrong). Perhaps you could substitute your arm with tonnes of pillows - but then you're arm would be in the way
I'm gonna PM someone that may be able to help hun. Hang on in there and I'll get back to you!!!

Blimey! Like Kat says you've got quite a lot to think about there.

Regarding the BFing I think your first port of call is your local BF support group. Contact your community MWs and see if they know who is best to talk to. If you see someone face to face I think they would be able to make better suggestions than I can about feeding with your weak arm.

I'm assuming your OH will be on paternity leave and able to help you in the early weeks and any other family might like to help anyway. Like Kat says cushions are any BFing mum's best buddy in the early days! You sound like you might need help positioning at first but lots of us do with full use of our arms.

You need to check how your meds effect BFing too - both current and post op ones.
I went into hospital with suspected appendicitis when my LO was 6 weeks old. I was really worried about it messing up all my hard work getting BFing established. The main thing they didnt appreciate was when they had me on 'nil by mouth' in case they needed to operate, BFing was giving me the usual raging thirst. They were giving me intravenous fluids but not enough. It took me 2 days to convince them I needed more fluids than they were giving me and also some with some kind of nutrients to help as I wasnt eating either. I really had to bang on as I was not on a maternity ward so they werent really up on BFing so you being on a maternity is good.

I think they key thing for you is enlisting as much support as possible.

Good luck!

Thank you so much for your replies.
I have an excellent network of support - but I dont want to rely on others too much. OH will take paternity leave, which we may delay for 2 weeks after the birth as then he can be home after the op too without loosing pay.

I dont currently take any meds, I did for a while then realised I couldnt be on them long term and instead manage using tens & heat/cold etc. I manage ok atm as long as I dont over do it.

I have a mw appt soon so will bring it up wiht her and see whether I could actually cope or whether I should wait longer for the surgery - I dont want my baby to struggle & I want happy memories of her early days so maybe waiting would be the best option & maybe speak to shoulder consultant about how long we could feasibly leave the surgery.

Lots to think about. Thanks

You have plenty of time to weigh up your options hun so take your time and get as much info as poss.