Don't panic HG!
It's her way of telling you you're not doing it the way you usually do, and will subside when she gets used to the same routine being done over and over again.
Have you tried the 3-6 months method, where you don't pick them up? Evan hates PU/PD - it just wound him up too!
It is really hard to listen to, but you're there the whole time, so don't think you are abandoning her or anything - this is nothing like CC/CIO.

Thanks x

I think pick up put down winds her up too much but nothing would calm her. How long is acceptable to leave them screaming? I think she would have gone over an hour.

When she wakes again I;ll try again and not give in. She knows what I am doing and she is cross. Must get through it though!

Thanks Jacs - needed those

How long is acceptable to leave them screaming? I think she would have gone over an hour.

On our first night we had half an hour of real crying. I was right next to him the whole time - stroking his head and shushing (I found that getting down to his level was less stimulating than leaning over him). I just told myself that he would HAVE to stop eventually, and that it was my job to help him learn to sleep. Anyway, I was still surprised when he did stop!

That is the only time he's fought sleep that much, sometimes he cries a bit (but nothing heavy), and that's it. It may take a little while, but once she gets how it works, in her own way she'll be so pleased to be able to just go to sleep when she needs to (and so will you!).

I have to add that I have been getting ALOT of help on here!!

i've decided not to leave him for the 25mins when he wakes from the nap, going to leave him 10 mins then get him up...its too stressful for both of us and its not helping him as he wont go back to sleep after it..............also he has a long nap in the afternoons, so i think maybe its just natural for him to have 2 or 3, 30 minute naps and then a longer one of 90 mins in the afternoon.

I'm joining you all!!

After a couple of weeks of thinking 'she'll grow out of it' i've decided to take an active step towards sleeping through the night! Have gone on the website and been e-mailing Dana - though her answers have been short and sweet, at least they are answers! Lol.

Bella naps wonderfully! It's the only time she does sleep well. Usually for about an hour sometimes more (rarely less)

But on the night she's been waking every 2 hours and have been feeding her back to sleep. After taking to Polaris and research, emails etc have decided to try the suggestion of putting Bella down to sleep while she is completely awake.

She has always self settled (or so i thought!) but turns out i've been putting her in really sleepy mode so she settles easily at night, and so every times she wakes, she depends on me to get her back into that sleepy mode. As Polaris put it, i'm putting her 80% into sleepyland and she can do the 20% on her own.
But she needs to do it 100% on her own so she will settle when she wakes on her own!

So tonight have put her down completely awake, she cried for about 5 minutes and then lay awake staring at her blanket for about 15 minutes, then drifted off to sleep (yay)
I'm going to watch Skins then go to sleep, and will let you know how it goes!

Hi Bloodbinds! Welcome - how was your night?

Morning all - how did everyone go last night? We had a very good night, her 'night feed' was at 5:45, and she went straight back to sleep for another hour and a half! (think she was tired post visitors)

History_Girls - I'd echo exactly what Jacs said, it is SO hard, but what helped DH and I was that we realised DD was upset because she couldn't work out how to get herself to sleep (without lying on one of us) and that she'd be so much happier once she had learned how to do so. She really is much happier! After a couple of nights, it gets so much better. it's so hard - I'm awful during naps, and just can't hear the crying.

Lyre, I think I'll do the same - max 10/15 mins. I do get her up, and then we play, but I can see she's tired...but if I put her in the cot again, she gets so upset!! One step at a time, I guess

I wonder sometimes if she can pick up on my vibes - because I kind of like her napping on me!! I think I need to be a bit more 'cot is GREAT' with my mentality for naps, as otherwise it's hard to get jobs done. It's just so lovely to have her napping on me!

So, everyone else?

Jacs - don't even get me started on the cats! One seems to think all DD's toys are for him!

Hi everyone
Feeling a lot better this morning, thanks for all the lovely messages.

Had a pretty good night with just one feed at 3, he did wake up briefly at midnight but put himself back to sleep within about two minutes of grumbling. And he's just gone down for his morning nap with pretty much no complaining, he cried for less than a minute and went to sleep. I might try 'wake to sleep' again to see if I can get him to take a longer nap, I just find that the day goes so much better when the first nap goes well as if that is a short nap it feels like the rest of the day goes a bit pear shaped too.

TennisGal - that was a great night last night - 5.45 is barely even a 'night' feed but great that she went back to sleep after it instead of thinking she was up for the day!

HistoryGirls - good advice from the others. I think the nice thing about this programme is that you can stay with them while they learn, so they don't feel like you have abandoned them - it is so so hard to listen to them crying as they try to figure out how to get themselves to sleep but they will work it out eventually. 45 minutes is a long time to listen to crying though hun, big hugs, that is not easy at all. It goes against every instinct not to just pick them up and try to make things better, sometimes I did need to pick Thomas up to calm him down but when he was really tired I also found that just made him worse. Somebody suggested using an ipod to kind of muffle the crying a little bit while you sit with them while they learn, I haven't tried this myself because we had already gone through that stage but it might be an idea. I think the other thing is that you have to feel really confident about what you are doing and why, because if you have any doubts then it is too hard to follow through with your plan. Your LO will be so much happier though once she figures it out.

Hi Bloodbinds - how did the rest of your night go?

Lyre - if Thomas seemed well-rested and happy after his 45 minute naps then I definitely wouldn't be trying to make him take a longer nap at all, I have read that some babies do well on short naps, that is just their natural pattern. But my experience is that he is cranky and clearly still tired unless he sleeps for longer. So we will try to keep at it.

Thanks girls - rest of the night was ok - had two feeds as I think she is having a grow.

Has anyone not ditched the dummy doing this? If she could have her dummy it would be so much easier or does that ditch the whole idea?

TennisGal - that's fab! I would count that as sleeping through!!

Polaris - glad your night was better, are the feeds getting later now? We're now experiencing exactly what you mentioned the other day - Evan has gone from 4.30am to 12.30am for his feed! I couldn't believe it happened again last night!

History_Girls, flowers04, lyre - how did your nights go?

Welcome Bloodbinds!

Just put him down for his nap, he'd been up for 2hrs 20 and showed NO sleepy signs at all. He suddenly cried so I put him down (I was waiting for a sign!) and he fell asleep pretty much instantly - obviously tired! Please tell me he hasn't stopped the eye-rubbing?!

oops posted that before I saw your post HG!

So glad it got better for you.

You would need to ditch the dummy, unless she can control it herself. The blankie idea is recommended because they can snuggle/suck it without you being there, even though it is a prop. Has she got something to cuddle?