Hi history_girls!

I would say that apart from her hungry cry, you would be best to treat the other cries in the same way, so she always knows what to expect, and isn't thinking 'maybe this is the time I get a cuddle, I'll just keep going!'
It's sooo hard to do this at night, I agree with what Polaris said about that, but it would only be for a short time hopefully, as long as you and OH are totally consistent. We found that the first night really set things up for us, as we did the whole night together. That way we could decide together what to do, and knew that when we were on our own, we were doing the same things.

Evan's room is small too, our first night of moving to the middle of the room, was also the first night of moving to the door! He's been fine with it though.

xx

Polaris, I am very similar with naps. Sometimes it just isn't happening, and I can't bear the crying, other times he just grizzles, and I can ignore that for a bit longer!

How's everyone's day/bedtime going?

I put Evan down a bit earlier, as we'd been out this afternoon and he only had a short nap in the car.
Normally I sit with him when DH is driving, and keep LO entertained so he doesn't doze, but my friend's little boy was in the back too, so I couldn't. Anyone got any tips for keeping them awake in the car, when you can't sit with them? It makes such a difference to Evan when he isn't allowed these small naps - I used to let him and he was miserable and tired all afternoon, but too awake to nap!

Hello ladies, can I join you? Was following the other thread... I'm basically psyching myself up to start trying sleepsense but not quite ready yet

I think I need to set myself a day when I'll start

Hi Elski, you are very welcome to join us - we are getting a nice little group going here now!

I have been SO stressed out this evening, I don't even really know why. I find it SO stressful trying to leave him when he wakes up early from a nap - today OH made me leave him for 20 minutes and he still didn't go back to sleep. He was still totally tired and grizzly when I got him up and then I started to get worried that I had traumatized him by not responding to him and that was why he wasn't in good form, then I started worrying about going back to work (totally unrelated but adding to my stress), then I think Thomas was picking up on me being stressed and wasn't in great form, then he seemed to be starving at his bedtime feed and looking for more after he'd drained both boobs, then he wouldn't burp for what seemed like AGES, then the dinner was overdone because it took me 20 minutes longer than expected to get him to bed. However he settled down to bed perfectly as usual, he is so great at bedtime now, there is never any complaining and he goes to sleep so quickly now.

Anyway that is my little rant over with, just needed to get all that off my chest. I think the main thing is that I worry about whether I'm doing the right thing for naps, I know I'm not really taking a consistent approach with them. Foogirl - thanks for the reassurance that things will improve with naps - I really just find myself doubting what I'm doing a lot with regards to the naps.

Ah big Polaris. Sometimes things just go round and round in your head - it only takes one or two things to set you off on a huge self-doubt/thinking the worst cycle! Hope you get a chance to have a relax this evening.

I read somewhere (Baby Whisperer?) that it takes about 3 days for babies to establish habits properly. Like everything else you've done so well, if you're consistent with leaving or picking up after naps, I'm sure Thomas will settle down. Maybe he needs to know he will always be left a little while, if he hasn't slept much? It's awful to listen to, but if you think it will help LO in the long run, it can't be such a bad thing. Maybe email Dana, or have a read of the section about early wakings (I know this is a nap problem, but she goes over what to do when you aren't ready for them to get up).

Welcome Elski, have you got the book/videos yet?

having said my LO was good at the gonig to bed bit - well tonight I thought i'd do putting down definately awake. It took 20 mins - ten mins of cooing and ten of screaming. not bad i suppose - she knew what i was doing and was unhappy with me the clever bean. just must keep it up during the night - 20 mins isn't that long. Perhaps I'll have a drink ready to try and wake me up when I'm with her or a little snack to give a sugar boost.

I shall treat all the same - will talk to OH tomorrow about continutiy - he does understand but his heart breaks to hear her cry and either gives in with cuddles and dummy or tells her off! Perhaps we shall do friday together too - might establish good habits.

Interesting about it taking 3 days to establish a routine.

I'd be the same, Polaris any other little stresses in the back of my mind would amplify everything and make it seem more intense.

Jacs - not yet, I've read through the website and it just seems too good to be true! I'm the worlds biggest cynic and am thinking "it'll never work, surely?" I've bought this book and that book and tried this bit of advice and that bit of advice, none of which have worked so far, so I'm kinda thinking why would this work but at the same time secretly thinking... maybe this is the answer I've been looking for, know what I mean?

Welcome History_Girls and Elski

Elski - I was sooooooo cynical, too. I'd almost written the plan off before starting, but I'm amazed at the results.

History_Girls - I agree, aside for hungry cries, I'd try and do suggested calming. It's so hard in the night, isn't it? Only thing I can say is that it does get better.

Polaris for you, too - and a big cup of tea with chocolate!

I'm with you ladies on the nap thing - I just cannot, cannot leave DD crying there. Somehow, her seeing me in the day seems to make her worse. We've managed brief naps - then if she's grizzling, I'm ok to do the routine for 20 mins...but if she's really crying, I can't do it Any advice? Good to hear it gets better, Foogirl - but I know I'm not very consistent, either.
We didn't manage any cot naps today, DD was far too interested in the visitors...and she's also having another dodgy teething day, she's been very bothered by her gums.

well I;ve completely failed tonight. LO woke up as per usual 40 mins into sleep. Left her ten mins then went up to settle. stroked her head, picked her up and calmed, then put down but nothing would stop the screaming. Every time i picked her up and clamed her as soon as i moved to put her down screaming again so i thought son't pick her up. but then she got worse and worse.Top of her lungs pitch. Well after 45 mins i broke and gave her the dummy. Two seconds flat asleep. I can't let her cry like that it just makes me cry. Have I mucked it all up?

It jsut breaks my heart to see her so upset her whole body was shaking.

history_girls - my hubby was the same about giving in! He would end up trying about 5 different methods of settling Evan, and it got to the point where the poor child was so confused, he just would not sleep at all for DH! That's when we decided it had to stop, and thank God I saw Polaris' thread! It is also the reason why I suggested we do the first night together - I needed to know we would be consistent, and not go down the same path again!
Lol at the snack thing - just today I started taking a cup of tea up with me for getting through nap time!

Elski - I know what you mean, at first I thought 'I am such an idiot loser' 'cos I thought I'd wasted money on something that was too simple to work, and not really anything I hadn't heard before. All I can say is, it worked for me on the first night, which was a week ago; and LO now almost sleeps through, and has extended naps. Good luck!

TennisGal - crappy naps suck, how's the teething tonight? I reckon 20mins is long enough to try for a nap too - do you try again after a little bit of activity?