I haven't wanted to admit it for some time now, but over the last month or so it has finally kicked in. I had 3 faint BFPs on 11/4, 11/7 & 11/8 but was lightly spotting on and off from 11/5-11/14 with a BFN on 11/11. I called my doctor and he said it sounded like an early m/c and if nothing happened within a few weeks time to contact him again. No sign of full blown m/c or AF so I called again in the beginning of December, but he told me to wait it out because I was waiting on free care insurance to go into affect. On 12/21 just days before Xmas it fully happened. At first I thought it was just AF (that the spotting had been it) and I realized due to the pain and clots that it was finally happening over a month after my first BFP. I called my doctor that same week and asked what I should do and he told me to test and see if I got a BFP or BFN and it was a BFN and not to bother coming in since it seems to have worked itself out on its own, but to look out for further pain, bleeding again or a fever. I have never had a loss and I don't know what to do, I have been so down even with the holidays. It took me over 6 years to have my first daughter, but was conceived very shortly after meeting DH, and our second daughter was conceived the first month TTC that this hit even harder because we have now been TTC for 6 months (which is long for us) and have experienced a loss. DH keeps telling me not to test anymore unless I have real symptoms because he hates seeing me upset even more when I get a BFN. I don't think he is fully understanding our loss due to not going for our first appt. or anything to confirm the pregnancy.

I understand its difficult but your loss is very real, I hope things get easier for you

Wanted to send some

I am sorry for your loss.

so sorry for your loss

Sometimes I wonder if maybe it's harder for us girls because we are the ones that are actually carrying the child. I know I took my miscarriage much worse than my husband, although he was very upset for the first couple of days, but now he seems ok whereas I am thinking about it all the time, dream about it every night and, if I wake up during the night, I can rarely get back to sleep.

I hope things get better for you soon xxx

I agree with susan,I think a lot of the time,it can be harder for the woman.Look after yourself honey and dont be afraid to grieve.xxx

Thank you ladies, I think the worst part of it all is my friends keep saying well the timing wasn't right and at least you have two healthy babies... but that isn't the point I should be getting ready for #3 not trying still. I know my family isn't complete and they just don't get that.

I can relate to your feelings on your friends. I to have 2 wonderful kids and am very blessed to have them. But I was so looking forward to bringing #3 into our home and my friends and some family just dosent get that! Hope everything works out for you and your family