Hello lovely ladies, I'm not sure if this is the correct place to post this as it's about work?

On the 19th January, I went for a scan and it was bad news, I was meant to be 11 weeks + 3 but the baby had died at 7 weeks.
I opted for medical management on Monday (23rd) which wasn't succesful so I had and ERPC on Wednesday (25th).

I am due to return to work tomorrow, physically I feel ok but not so great mentally at the mo.

As I have been off work for over a week already my colleagues have been contacting me asking me why I'm off. My boss knows but she is on holiday for a week now so if I do get upset I don't know who I could speak to.

I'm scared about people asking questions and me not handling it very well.
I went to the doctors on Thursday and started crying in the waiting room when a friend asked if I was ok!

I work in an office with about 25 people, I'm also a bit worried about my concentration - I don't want to make any mistakes!

Do you think I would be pushing it if I had another couple of days off or do you think returning to work may help?

I'd really appreciate any advice.

Thank you xx

I had exactly the same happen to me, had an erpc at 11 weeks after baby died at 7 weeks. I was signed off work for 2 weeks by the doctor but I felt fine. I work in mothercare so thought it would be hard to go back but ended up going back after a week as found sitting at home stewing did me no good! I told my manager and asked her to tell everyone for me as people were bound to ask and I didn't think I could handle telling them all over and over. Is there someone u could ask to speak to everyone before u go back? I'm sure they'll be understanding of a lack of concentration

Chin up chickee xxx

You should take as long as you need and as long as your boss knows then they should handle everybody else for you. There's no time scale on grief and your doctor will sign you off for abit longer if you need it.

I've had 2 miscarriages. When I was going through it the first time I took a week off work. My boss knew but nobody else knew why I'd been off-but because I'm not normally taking time off work they were tactful about asking me why I'd been off as they knew it must be something important. Then 5 months later, I'd still not conceived again and got really down about it and my doctor signed me off for a week again. I needed the space as I couldn't cope with the pressures of work along with grieving.

However, this time, so far has been different. I wanted everybody to know I was pregnant, partly Incase something did go wrong, then people wold understand if I was acting out of character.

I went for my first scan at 8 weeks and found the baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks. The hospital told me to go back for another scan on the following Monday (this was on Tuesday). I took the rest of that day off work but I went back the following day. I was glad I went back to work because it kept me busy.

I went ino hospital on the Thursday after the second scan, for medical management of miscarriage and I took the next day off work and started back on the following Monday (last week). I was different to the first time round-I wanted to get back to normality as quickly as possible. You need to do what's right for you. Thinking of you

Only you will no if u feel up for going back to work.
I am a school teacher and misscarriaged towards the end of the xmas hols - I however didnt go back to work for 2 weeks (staff who dont no think I just took a extended xmas break and faked an illness!!) Even now, after being back to work for 2 weeks sometimes I feel like I am not sure I should be back, but I was going stir crazy sat at home.. and the kids in my class keep me sane!!!

So sorry for your loss...like everything else, there is no right or wrong answer to this.. If you feel you aren't ready to go back to work, then maybe you should give yourself more time. I had my mc just before New Year. I had a few days off and was totally dreading going back to work. I had only told a handful of people but I contacted them all by text to tell them what had happened - it was easier to do that than explain it time after time, face to face. The rest of the people in my department are still none the wiser. I found that the thought of going back to work was worse than actually going back. After ten minutes or so, I knew I had made the right move in going back. Work has proved to be a good distraction for me. Sure, I still find myself staring into space sometimes, but on the whole I am glad I went back when I did because if I didn't, I was just delaying the inevitable. As much as I didn't want to hear it or even believe it at the time, life goes on. And I just had to go along with it. But that's not to say that rushing back to work is the right thing for you....only you know that. Take care of yourself xx

I agree with Gemble and I also had someone at work explain what had happened before I got back into the office. I was a little nervous to return and I was so worried that someone would want to talk about it. I wasn't having a good day and I had cried all the way to the office (I think maybe I should have taken more time off - I had miscarried Tues/Wed and went back to the office Mon).
I am glad that I went back since work seemed to take my mind off things, but I still have my moments when I sit at my desk and tear up.