hello all, i found out i lost my baby the 11th of jan 2011 by ultrasound (day before my wedding which was on the 12th :/) bub was six weeks 4 days then on 13th of jan i passed bub, i have a bicournate uterus so i ahd been bleeding for 5 weeks previous but everything was going fine we even saw bubs heartbeat and then nothing no sac no heartbeat no my little bubba :'(
its been 2 and half weeks and i feel so detched from everyone and everything i sometimes feel so distant from my husband like i dont want to be near him one minute but need him by me everywhere the next i am going insane, then other days i feel ok i can smile and laugh but seeing a newborn or being in a shp and seeing baby things just makes me think of what we should be buying and all the things we should be getting excited for, i feel like i have been cheated of my baby why give the amazing gift only to rip it away from me its is unfair .. we have decided to try again but my gyno has recommened to wait six months as he does not feel i am emotionally stable or even phsically stable to try, i beleive when the time is right it will happen but to tp it all f my gyno reffered to my baby i had growing as a "******" all because they wouldnt have the right chromosones to be "normal" i mean what kind of doctor says that to parents who have just lost there unborn baby??
sorrying for ranting but i needed to get it off my chest i dont know what to do i love my husband very much but feel i am only pushing him away :/
love to all xx

Hi, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my LO at 17 weeks (14 weeks gestation) i had routine check on 9th Jan and no heartbeat (despite healty scan at 13 weeks)
I `gave birth` to my LO on 12 Jan. LO`s service was last monday and ashes were laid to rest tuesday.
I know exactly what you are feeling and exacly what you are going through, I felt that detached feeling,plus so many other emotions, emptiness, dispair, fustration, lonliness and even anger.
I have had to be strong for my 3 other children , 10, 7 & 20 months. I save my srying to when they are not there as i don`t want them upset any more.
Noone mentioned this time about when we should or shoudn`t try again.
However in July 09 I had MMC at 10 weeks (8 weeks gestation) their advice was to wait for one AF purely for dating reasons and not medical reasons.
This time i want to do the same again if OH agrees.
If there is no medical reason to wait (ectopic are 3 month wait) then it should be down to you and how you feel and when you are ready.
When I had my first MMC, becoming pregnant again 2 months later really helped my grieiving process.
Best wishes to you,there are lots of us here, unfortunately, if you need to talk further.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

... the day before your wedding?! Oh my god. That's terrible. I found out the day after my dad's funeral and I thought that was awful, but I just can't imagine having to pick myself up and get through a wedding after hearing news like that. You must be incredibly strong to get through that.

What you're feeling sounds pretty normal - not that that's much comfort, I know. I feel sort of 'detached', too - it's sort of like I'm in a glass bubble or something, and everybody is being very kind and I know they love me and want to help, but they're outside the bubble and I'm stuck inside it and they can't really reach me. That's a weird way of putting it, I guess, but it's the closest I can get to expressing it.

Regarding trying again, I'd try to get a second opinion, honestly. Six months seems a very long time to suggest waiting for 'medical reasons' unless you've had some major complications, and, well, really, I don't think it's your gyno's job to make decisions about your emotional stability and what's best for it? I was told by two different doctors that we could start trying again immediately without even waiting for a full cycle and it was up to us to decide when we were ready, so... I'd definitely see if you can talk to someone else about that and see what they say (if you want to try again sooner, of course).