OMG there are so many of you...I am crying so much...my heart goes to all of you...
Let me tell you about the most horrible day of my life and that changed me forever and ever for the good...
We had moved into a very nice new apartment...we moved to the top floor 30 feet from the ground...I asked the owner numerous times before we moved to put window guards because I had of my children...he never did...
I never did open the window no matter how hot it was...
one day my mother was mopping my the floors and decided to open the window (it had a screen)...
My 3 yr old daughter was running after a kitten we had (the floor was already dry)
and my kitten jump from the bed to the window's screen...so my daughter did the same as I ran to get my daughter as I watched her do this I screamed, "NOOOO" and the screen popped open and down it went, kitten and my baby girl....I threw myself to grabbed her..I tried to grab her legs...but I fell hurting my shoulder badly...her feet I felt caress my foot (was this the last time I get to touch my baby alive?)...Time seemed to stop...I couldn't hear a thing...I was deaf...I could not catch my breath...it seemed as minutes passed...when I heard my next door neighbor scream. I got up and looked outside...was my mind playing tricks on my all I saw was red and my baby immobile on the floor...I screamed like an animal...everyone in the house ran to me as I ran outside to my baby...My dad (6'2 and 230lbs...I am 5'2 110lbs) grabbed me tight..I was screaming and beating him...punching him making him bruise and bleed...but he wouldn't let me go...he didn't know what was wrong...I tried telling them but my mom said I sounded like an animal howling...they couldn't understand me...but my younger brother (one of my candles in my eyes) understood me and he yelled at them what was going on...I was finally let go and everyone ran screaming outside...I try to run but my legs felt heavy...My baby was gone...My life flashed in front of my eyes and I did not want to live but then I thought of my son...I had to shake this feeling ...I collapsed in front of the door I didn't want to see my baby gone...I didn't want to see...as I laid on the floor...there was silence no screaming no cries and I felt my mother in front of me...I looked up and she had my daughter in her arms...UNHARMED, she was crying but of fear not of pain...I grabbed my baby and checked her all over while my dad bought the car so we can go to the hospital...She had a scratch on her leg...that is all from what I could see...I yelled at my mom for picking her up but she explained to me that the baby was the one who got up...my strong girl...thats when my brother came with my kitten in arms and said my name with I am sorry...I didn't care about the cat at that time all I cared about was my baby being ok...
we got to the hospital they checked her and did every test possible.. NOTHING...that is when I cried for my kitten my angel....see my daughter fell on top of the cat in the fetal position...the cat broke her fall...she fell inches away from things that sure would've killed her...
Doctors, Health department investigators, and Children's services (they were on my side) still can't explain how she survived...I still cant...
So I know how it feels to lose a child... for those seconds I thought my daughter was gone and it is the most horrible unexplainable feeling...something inside of me changed forever...so I can Imagen you going on with your life feeling like this...I applaud you all for being strong
I was a horrid nervous mess for days and I'm still am a bit (paranoid mostly). So girls I have a kitten as an angel...you have your babies to watch over you...you have the most beautiful and greatest angels any one can ever had!
Excuse my typing and typos and errors I was crying so hard.
Loved and missed every day xxxx
