Miscarriage & Loss Support

cherylanne · Jul 5th, 2008, 09:47 AM

Advice Please!!!

I had a m/c 12th June and was talking to OH about ttc soon, he says that he doesn't want us to get pregnant again!!! His reason is that with our daughter i had a really hard pregnancy and was rushed to hospital with placental aruption at 34 weeks, they told us that there was no heartbeat for baby and i needed a c-section to stop the bleeding. My other half says that it was the worst moment of his life as he thought he had lost us both and now we have had a m/c and he says he can't do it again and is worried about my health if i get pregnant.

I understand his fears, but our daughter is wonderful and even though it was a difficult pregnancy she was worth it all, i would like her to have a brother or sister.

I tryed to explain that alot of women experience m/c and difficult pregnancies but he just won't budge. I really want another baby, have any of you had a similar problem with your OH? Do you think he'll come round?

NikiJJones · Jul 5th, 2008, 11:50 AM

So sorry to hear about your loss and the painful situation you are now in.
After my MC my DH was really against trying again for a short while. He is now (6 weeks later) half-heartedly onboard again though. He's worried about me and how I might cope with another PG and potentially another MC.
I do hope your DH comes round. Time is a great healer (for both of you).
In the meantime, I'll be thinking of you and we're all here for you.

xxxx

superp123 · Jul 6th, 2008, 03:24 AM

I can certainly understand where both of you are coming from. You want so badly to have another baby but he's terrified of loosing you and baby. I think its one of those things that will work itself out. Give him some time, he's just seen you go through so much pain again... and it sounds like he's just scared. I think it's very sweet. You're so blessed to have someone who cares so deeply for you that he's not 'allowing' you to ever scare him like that again. Ultimately, its his way of trying to control the universe. He wanted to try again last time so chances are he'll come around. Good luck hun.

P

Logiebear · Jul 6th, 2008, 16:38 PM

I seriously understand to a certain degree hun. We lost our baby in May and I am diabetic. My previous 2 pregnancies had been very difficult due to my diabetes and other complications like PE. I had emergency sections with both of them at 36 weeks and was very ill after the first one.

It took some persuading to get my hubby to agree to try for another one after my health is so poor curing pregnancy. Also after seeing how badly the m/c has affected me he has said that if I had another m/c he would say no to any more kids because he doesn't think he can face him or me having to go through it any more.

It is very difficult for men as they think logically about their wife. The simple fact is if a Dr came to your husband and said "Your wife and baby are gravely ill and we can only save one, which one?" Your hubby would pick you every time. If the Dr asked you the same question about you or your baby you would pick the baby!! We think differently!!

Talk to him xxx

JASMAK · Jul 8th, 2008, 20:18 PM

I would take him with you for an OB/GYN consult regarding the abruption and the m/c...and your DR's advice on having more children and the risks. This will no doubt ease your DH's fears. If your husband is anything like mine, he only believes things that a DR says...not me. (hugs)

honeybunch2k7 · Jul 11th, 2008, 02:52 AM

I have this problem with OH. He says he just couldn't go thru that again, not now. I'm scared,too, but that doesnt' make me want to wait a long time. He wants to TTC at some point, just years down the road.

Miscarriage & Loss Support

He says no more babies

Trying To Conceive Forums

He says no more babies