NikiJJones

This afternoon we had the school speech day service (I'm a teacher), and I was a right wimp. Cried in a hymn about angels, as I have got so used to being on B&B and us all referring to our MCed little ones as angels. Then there was a special prayer later on for my 2 colleagues who have had babies this year and 3 who are about to go off on maternity leave. Started crying and just could not stop. Felt like a right idiot. All the kids and parents saw me crying. Another colleague came and gave me a hug afterwards outside the church and I just sobbed. Feel so foolish and selfish.
Not a good way to end the week. And I have to see them all tomorrow at prize giving ceremony. I just worry that people will think I am being melodramatic and trying to get attention, but I just couldnt help it this afternoon.
When is all this pain going to stop?
xxxx

NickyT75

Aw sorry you had a bad day hun but please dont feel silly, you are grieving & it is still early days plus it must make things even more difficult having to work with children too xx

Loo

Don't feel stupid, May is still very recent. Youare still in the grieving process. I've copied this from the BUPA grief leaflet and it shows the stages you go through when you lose someone special. Just cos its a foetus doesnt make it any less grief....you;ll just have to switch their examples for something more suitable (like swap 'funeral details' for 'miscarriage treatment/operation' for example). I think youre just in the 'strong emotion' phase. That's normal and sooooo nothing to be ashamed of.


"The stages of grief aren't distinct, and there is usually some overlap between them.

Feeling emotionally numb is often the first reaction to a loss. This may last for a few hours, days or longer. In some ways, this numbness can help you get through the practical arrangements and family pressures that surround the funeral, but if this phase goes on for too long it can become a problem.

Numbness may be replaced by a deep yearning for the person who has died. For example, every time the phone rings you might expect it to be the person who has died, or you may think you see him or her on the bus or in crowds.

You may feel agitated or angry, and find it difficult to concentrate, relax or sleep. You may also feel guilty, dwelling on arguments you had with that person or on emotions and words you wished you had expressed.

This period of strong emotion usually gives way to bouts of intense sadness, silence and withdrawal from family and friends. During this time, you may be prone to sudden outbursts of tears, set off by reminders and memories of the dead person.

Over time, the pain, sadness and depression start to lessen. You begin to see your life in a more positive light again. Although it's important to acknowledge there may always be a feeling of loss, you learn to live with it.

The final phase of grieving is to let go of the person who has died and carry on with your life, though it may not be exactly the same as it was before. Your sleeping patterns and energy levels return to normal."BUPA

Visqueen

Dont feel like that if you need to cry let it out. Hope you are feeling a little better today