JulesW

NO - essay is GOOD... those of you who have been kind enough to share experiences where you've noticed similarities have been an absolute godsend. I'd never heard of a missed miscarriage before, let alone all the other complications and procedures that go along with it and I've really managed to get the most information and support from you guys.
I found out Tue of this week and since then have had ONE phonecall with the people booking me in for a follow up ultrasound to "make sure" of course, like you say - I know it's over, I think I've known something wasn't right from the very beginning.
It's good to hear
Some people have recommended that they think it's good things "take its natural course" others have said for god's sake have the D&C - what do you and others think? I'm guessing nothing will happen naturally if it hasn't after what will now be a 7 week wait but I hear conflicting messages.
One thing that has been worrying me was that I was on a Progesterone Only Pill POP called Cerazette. Now, this basically stops your periods. I came off it on 30th March (first day of last period) and then did those testing strips to see if you ovulate, I did them for DAYS, nothing. Then, two weeks after my period WOULD have been (although I was told it can take literally months to have another period after Cerazette, this is did NOT know before) I took a test and were positive. But felt odd and 'something's not quite right' about it ever since. My oh thinks it was the pill - I mean, if I had mc naturally at the time the pregnancy ended then I simply would have known nothing and carried on... so ironic.
Thanks for your advice and sharing your experience, it has really helped for me to know what might happen
What would you recommend, waiting or D&C? xxxx

Omi

Well, you know my story Jules..i think i would have died had i not had it done (as a matter of speech of course).. i was in so much pain and passing big clots..absolutely horrible!! And may i add i have a very high pain threshold!! Also, my friend took the medication to start it and passed it at home and she had it like me- she regretted it and said she'd have gone for the d&c had she known..

I dont tell you this to scare you..many girls on here report it quite diffirently to how i experienced it. More like a really bad period. However, i dont know if its different if its a missed mc as opposed to mc in real time, if you know what i mean?.....

I think the moral of the story is you wont know how its gonna be, the mc that is, until you have it. So in the end, you have to decide what it right for you. I can only tell you my story, and that it was right for me. It really helped me and was a godsend!

Whatever you decide, id say it wholly depends on what you want and what you think you can handle. To me it was a relief knowing i could move on.

Just go with what feels right, hun!

, Omi xxx

Doodles

Hi Jules, you sound like you are coping very well at the moment, but from experience I know how hard it is. I think its a great idea to arm yourself with as much knowledge as to what may happen now, makes things seem a lot less scary.
I have had 2 m/c and am now 32 weeks pregnant, so stay positive and when the time is right things will go your way.
With my first m/c I went to the EPU where they did a scan and saw baby was measuring 6 weeks and no heartbeat, but I should have been 11 weeks. I was sent home as they have to allow some time just in case your dates are wrong. Well those were 2 awful weeks, I didn't know how to feel, angry, upset, greif, hopeless, guilty. I tried to stay strong for my OH, but sometimes a really good cry is the best medicine. I knew when I had the second scan that it was going to be bad news and the m/c was confirmed.
I was offered lots of leaflets, some contact numbers and councelling. I was also given a choice on how to progress. Wait and hopefuly my body will eventually pass everything naturally, have a pessary to open the cevix and go home and pass everything naturally or have a d&c.
I chose to have a d&c as soon as possible and they kept me in hospital right after the scan and did the op the next day. It was a very quick procedure, I was a little uncomfortable afterwards but not in pain. For me I felt almost like this was wiping the slate clean.
I took 2 weeks off work to give myself time to heal physically and emotionally.

boobaby04

Hi Jules,

Firstly just want to say so sorry for your loss .
I had a missed m/c and I had a medical management, god forbid I ever go through that again as it was really painful and just a horrible experience I would opt for a D/C if I had known what I know now!
I have also had problems with my periods since then I used to be very regular and now range from anything between 28-41 days or sometimes just miss them altoghther.

Everyday is a new day and there will be times when you feel low again just know that we are all here for you whenever you need someone to talk to or just give you .
x x x x x

NikiJJones

Hi Jules,
Hope you are doing OK today.
Thinking of you.
xxxx

Litol_x_Me

sorry too hear this =[[

Logiebear

I am really sorry for your loss hun and big for this. I went for a scan and was told to come back 2 weeks later as they couldn't see the bean properly. I went back a week later as I had started bleeding slightly, they told me I had a missed miscarriage. I went home and waited for it to start naturally and 2 weeks went by. They were the worst 2 weeks of my life, sitting around waiting for it to start and it didn't I went back to the hospital and they recommended an ERPC (d&c) which I took after having had enough of the waiting. The problem is that the longer you wait the greater the risk of infection and the heavier your bleed could be. My friend waitied and hers took 3 weeks, when it started she nearly died from the blood loss. It can get very graphic and messy and emotionally turbulent so in the end I am glad I had the ERPC and it was over.

In heinseight I would have picked the ERPC straight away had I known what I would feel like, it was awful. And my friend who bled really badly said the same.

The choice is yours hun and you need to be aware that it is your choice and you need to decide what is best for you. It was awful of the scan girl to just send you away like that as she should have told you xxx

Freya

HI there,

Just wanted to share my own story so that there is someone else you cn talk to if you feel like it. It sounds like the medical staff where you are aren't keeping you informed or rushing to advise you what to do next!!!!

I had a missed m/c too. Had the tiniest spot of brown blood one day, freaked out and went straight to A and E. I refused to stay in overnight just to be scanned the next day (I had no idea they suspected anything was really wrong - I wish they would have said). So, I got a scan 4 days later. Sadly no heartbeat detected and although I should have been 10 wks along, bub only measured 6 wks.

IMMEDIATELY shown to a private room (whichi was good as I was a crying mess)and a doctor came and explained I had a missed m/c and what it was all about. He explained that as I hadn't m/c naturally it was unlikely that I was going to do so in the short term and recommended D and C. He explained that medical management was possible but that it was likely to be difficult and I ran the risk of needing a D and C anyway in case any part of the pregnancy remained.

Doc was great, as it was a Friday he offered to book me in there and then or to wait until Monday so I had time to adjust and accept the news. By Sunday I was ready.

Procedure was fine, no complications, back home within a few hours. Took 2 weeks off work, mainly to sort my head out! AF returned in 6 weeks. Oddly, my peiods were lighter from that point on, almost like the D and C gave me a 'good clear out'. I worried at 1st that this meant I wouldn't concieve...... but when the time was right I did.

Keep asking all the questions you need to get those answers you're missing. Hope this helps xxx

JulesW

THANK YOU to all of you who have taken the time and the trouble to post your experiences. As I said before, I think the thing that has absolutely helped the most has been hearing about those of you who have been through the same thing. It makes me feel like I'm not a medical anomaly.
Seriously, the ONLY information I have had about any of this has been from all you lovely people who have understood how important answers are at a time like this when there seems to be no other support.
I've found that friends and family just "don't know what to say" which I can totally understand and that's why I am SO grateful to you guys for sharing, because I have found that only someone who has been through this themselves can truly help, as you have some answers and the same feelings.
One thing I am really concerned about is that I seem "fine", my partner has accepted things very quickly, said all the right things, but doesn't really want to dwell on talking about it etc. I've had 3 days off work but feel tomorrow I will go back because I feel guilty about not being there (teacher and last two weeks of term before the summer hols) and I somehow just don't know how to feel! When people call, I sound fine and upbeat because I think that's what they want and then feel guilty about not being at work or being at home all day because they might think I'm just skiving off! I think I have somehow fooled myself also... has anyone else found this? I see that many of you have taken several weeks off work and I feel that would definitely be appropriate. I think because I feel so obliged to be 'fine' I also feel now guilty that I'm not giving myself enough time. Has anyone else experienced that?
THANK YOU SO MUCH to those who've shared their stories and sent their love, you have no idea how appreciated it is! I feel so badly for your loss too but at the same time, for those whose experiences have been rather similar to mine, your stories have been invaluable. xxxxxx

Tracie87

hunni when i found out i was m/c last week i was upset then felt fine i couldnt understand why i felt so fine about it even when id passed the baby i felt fine untill i got home and had a bath i used 2 shake my boobs *sorry tmi* coz i new theyd hurt but they didnt n it hit me like a brick house.. it may come to you later hun.