NikiJJones

I'm going back to work tomorrow after my MC end of May. I'm a primary school teacher and head of dept, so my doctor very kindly signed me off for 3 full weeks, but I am now getting in a real state about going back. I'm only doing 2.5 days this coming week, which should help, but I'm dreading tomorrow. I just can't face all the kids and their questions, all the pregnant Mums in the playground and all my workmates (4 are pregnant, 3 just returned from maternity: the entire staffroom conversation is about babies and childbirth). I just know I'm going to keep crying. Just don't know how I'm supposed to cope. I feel like such a failure that I couldn't keep my baby healthy. All I want is to be a Mummy, and being surrounded by Mummys and little children all day used to be heartbreaking enough for me when I was TTC, but now I just don't think I can bare it.
xxxx

Rumpskin

Oh sweety. I am so very sorry.

I m/c at 9 weeks in January and took a week off work. No one, apart from my boss, knew I was pregnant but I emailed the girls that I work with and told them what had happened as I was unsure how I would be.

I was actually surprisingly okay and everyone was very symphathetic (got lots of cuddles). I managed to hold back the tears and it was good to think about something other than my m/c.

I would have been due on 8 August and I know this is going to be very difficult for me.

Good luck xxx

shmoo75

Hun I really do feel for you. The only problem is if you don't go back tomorrow when will you go back? Also by not going back tomorrow it will make it even harder than it is now when you do. This is so not going to be easy as, you are surronded by young children, pregnant mums and work mates. I would bite the bullet and go back to work tomorrow and get that 1st day over and done with as, it will get easier after that. I'm not saying you will start to really look forward to being there by the end of the wk just, that you wont dread it as much as you are now. You might even find your pregnant collegues are feeling guilty that they are and your not. My thoughts are with you for tomorrow and, I will be back on Tuesday morning to see how your 1st day went. Sending

todteach

Hey Hun
Big for you. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. I'm due to go back to work tomorrow too. I've been on and off work for a month.

It will be hard, and remember, you are allowed to cry, you've been through a lot.

I'm sure you'll be surprised at how supportive everyone can and will be. It's amazing to find out how many people have been through the same thing. It's like they start coming out of the woodwork, people that you've known for years. A girl at my work that I've known for 7 years, had two miscarriages (one before each of her children). She's been a great leaning post. Not everyone will understand, but hopefully they will be supportive. If you need to talk tomorrow night, let me know.


Sending you huge
Take care

superp123

Oh babe, I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Just remeber that if they loved you before they're still going to love you now. Hopefully, you'll find that they'll be very understanding and supportive and that all this worry is for not. I know what you mean about how hard it is to face people with this especially when you're having trouble facing yourself somedays. This is not at all a failure for you and there really is nothing that you could have done. All you can do is take a deep breathe and make the next step. It'll all fall into place, you'll see.
Keeping you in my prayers, and I'll be checking on you tomorrow.
Hugs
P

trish4

Hey hope yo finaly managed to go to work today, when i m/c last year at 22weeks i found it just as hard it took me 3 months to go back as there were a few other colleague like in your situation who were expecting babies round about the same time i was suppossed to be ,it was difficult as people never realy know what to say but a lot of hugs did it for me .And also for me the continuous delay was i had to wait for a postmorterm and arrange a funeral after so i couldn`t face going back until there was some kind of closure .But all the same hope you had a better day than you expected

NikiJJones

Well it was bareable! I cried all the way there, then cried when I first got there as my classroom goldfish had died over the weekend, as the w**ker of a deputy head fed them half a pot of food Friday. Didn't have to see too much of pregnant teachers or parents as I was on a class trip to London Aquarium. Stressful as hell, but at least it kept me so busy I couldn't think. Two of the ladies who were on the trip with me were very lovely and supportive, and I talked a bit about things at lunchtime which helped. I cried on the coach home, but not infront of the kids so that was good.
Was collared on returning to school by a well-meaning do-gooder who informed me that she and "some others" had been talking and they really think I am far too skinny to carry a healthy pregnancy and I should put on some weight. This really makes me mad, as I am not too skinny. They are just jealous! My doc would have told me if I needed to put on weight for pregnancy. GRRRRR! But having said that, that was the only shitty comment I got.
Not in for a couple of days now, as just doing 2.5 days this week, so at least I get a bit of a break. The hardest part (going back) is done now.
TodTeach: how was your first day back? I was also off for a month. Hope yours was OK.
Thanks everyone for your supportive messages.
xxxx

Happy

Glad your fist day back was not too awful for you. Ignore people with their shitty comments its nothing to do with them, as you said if there was any problem your doctor would have said something.

It will get easier from now on, now you have done your first day. Enjoy your few days off. xx

shmoo75

I'm glad it was bearable for you hun. As for that so good know it all I would of told her my weight was fine as my GP and the EPU didn't have a problem with it. I had some know it all tell me I had my m/c because I had been on the pill for 18yrs!!!!! Stupid bloomin' c**'s!!! At least your nxt day in wont be so bad. Send

NikiJJones

A friend told me last week that I might have MCed as I was on the pill for 12 years. So much crap! And I stopped pill whole 12 months before I was PG anyway. Some people seem to think that they are helping by finding reasons for the MC. They don't seem to realise that that is the Doc's job if anyone's.
Hope you are OK?
xxxx