todteach

I know exactly what you mean by saying you want the baby that should have been born in January. I want my baby too, should have been born in November..... I want that baby, my baby. Some people just don't get it.

One of my bosses asked me when my due date would have been. Not because she was trying to be sympathetic, because she was trying to guess someone elses due date who just announced her pregnancy this week. I was very insulted. My due date was November 30th; I should have asked her if I would be allowed some time off on that week. She wouldn't have seen it coming. I know that it's not her fault that she doesn't understand, she just needs to be a little more caring and sensitive when she addresses me. I'm very fragile right now. I'm sure that everyone on this forum is.

I just don't understand it. If someone's parent or sibling passed away, they wouldn't be expected to carry on as normal, less than a month after. Just because our pregnancies were not viable, doesn't make it any less real for us. Our babies are special and are ours. I feel like I'm going to snap at the next person who gives me a "there, there...it happened for a reason" or "why did you miscarry? what happened? what did you do wrong?" or "is your uterus too damaged to have children?" comment. Please try to avoid people who are going to upset you. They may mean well, but may not think before they speak.

Hope your day went smoothly today. Mine really did go well, just had to vent.
We're all thinking of you.

NikiJJones

Hi TodTeach,
I've got today off for report writing, as I should have done them all while I was off sick. It's very kind of the head to let me have today at home. To be honest, the parents won't be getting very detailed reports this year and they can just like it!!! They are lucky they are getting anything at all!
It was insensitive of your boss to do that. I do wish people would think a bit more. You are right: if someone's "so called living" relative died, everyone would be so much more careful. People just see our babies as something "not living yet". Someone said to me "Well you've always been a bit of an emotional person. No wonder this has hit you so badly. You need to get stronger emotionally before you try again". Basically implying that I am a bit of a psychological wreck anyway, and that a "normal" person wouldn't be feeling this pain. I wouldn't wish it on her, but I do wonder, would she just be able to laugh it off if she lost a baby???
Ah well, I guess coping with these comments is part of this whole thing for all of us. I would try to avoid them, but that would probably mean staying in my house all day long and not even answering the phone!!!! To be honest I'm so looking forward to the summer break now. We only have another 9 days of school and then a 7 week break, so if I can bare the 9 days, then I have 7 weeks to rest. I don't have any plans, as I had planned to be decorating the nursery, buying baby things etc. So now my plan is to relax and TTC, and hopefully have a sticky bean in there before I go back in September.
Thinking of you too today, and hope you avoid the crappy comments.

xxxx