golcarlilly

I can't let go of the thoughts and plans I had about my baby, they just keep coming over me in waves the worst one is that when it comes to Christmas I won't have my baby, it won't be it's first Christmas and I am just heartbroken, I had looked forward to this baby so much and I don't know how I am going to get through this, I can't bear the thought that it is all over, that even if I get pregnant straight away now it will be 2009 before i have a little one to love

sorry i just needed to say that to get it out I just sometimes want to scream at the unfairness of it all

Emsi76

Hi,

Sorry you feel this way. However, many women on here can't conceive, at least you know that you can!!!

I think you need to keep this at the forefront of your mind!

x

golcarlilly

without being rude that really does not help me at this time and is not very relevant to my post but thanks for taking the time to air your views

Emsi76

Well, i have had miscarriages before and there in no point dwelling! That's my point, so there is some relevance!

maccy

I know how you feel hun, even though I don't know the outcome for sure yet till Fri. I think about Christmas and cry, my baby would have been due on Dec 2. I was planning Christmas dinner, the stocking I was gonna do so that my dd would believe Santa visited the new baby too. Even if you have only been pregnant for a few weeks you plan lots of things, names, when your scan would be due, what kind of bith you'd like etc etc the list goes on.



I have one child and yes I am extremely grateful for her, more than anyone would know and I caught first time both times but that doesn't take away the hurt you feel when you lose a baby. Even if you try again it won't be the baby that you lost.

golcarlilly

Maccy - I was due on 1st December, I know if I try again it won't ever bring my lost little one back, I have one DD already too and am so lucky to have her, I just really want another one, my Hubby doesn't have kids and i just feel so bad for him too, I really want him to be a Daddy and know the happiness it brings.

Emsi76 I empathise with all those ladies out there who will never know what it is like to be a parent, (two of my best friends cannot have kids and I know that it kills them to know they will never have their own ( one has adopted two children a few years ago)) but it does not take away my pain. Furthermore I know there is 'no point dwelling' and that being upset will not change anything but I am grieving in my own way, as everyone should and whether it takes me days, weeks or years I would never, ever presume to tell anyone else how to grieve or try to make them feel like their feelings are unwarranted.

Emsi76

I think you are taking my point totally the wrong way! Yes, you have had a miscarriage but there will be anoter chance for you!

You can't look back, only forward!

Sorry i spoke!

Sambatiki

Hey Go...
I too am feeling a little similar to you. My LO was due 15th Dec. I like to come here to talk about it, as DF is finding it quite hard to be strong for both of us. Please feel free to PM me if you need to.

TashaAndBump

I don't have any words that can make it better or even begin to make it better... When I had my miscarriage I just had to cry and cry it out of me... I still am not over it, and still secretly have a little cry over the little baby that we never got to meet.

Rest assured, that while you will never ever forget your little angel or what could have been, with time you will start to come to terms with your loss and the grieving will not be so intense. Time is a great healer, and it does get better eventually.

I now have my little girl, I'm so happy to have her in our family, but I still remember and mourn for the baby that we should have had before her. Life is good for us now. I'm not saying you should forget your LO or that you will ever feel completely okay about what happened - because it's not okay, and it's not fair. But one day it will not feel like it does now; you can still have a family and all the happiness that you dreamed of, it will just take a little time to get there.

I hope that this makes sense.

Visqueen

Hi Golcarlilly

I am in exactly the same position as you right now, I found out on April 16th when I went for my 12week scan I had a missed misscarriage I then had a d&c on the 18th. I too feel so lost knowing that it will also be next year before I have my first baby.

I understand only to well just how you are feeling, just sorry you are going through it too.