Hi Girls,

Well what a crap few weeks it has been, Me and my OH decided to definately call it a day so I have had all the upheaval of going back to my mums (which although I love her, I hte being back here) then I have had several breakdowns. Six friends have told me they are expecting and I just feel awful that Im not able to be as supportive for them as I should be.

While I was pregnant my work were awful to me the stress they put me under was emense, andIm meant to be going back on Monday.
Im currently on tablets for my depression and I was on sleeping tablets, but since my sleeping tablets ran out Im finding it difficult to get to sleep and then when I am asleep Im waking up in cold sweats after having nightmares, they include work my relationship and most of all Jacob.

Im seeing the doctor in the morning, but I get the feeling she will tell me to 'just get on with it' as its been 6 weeks.

Im dreading gong back, do u think I would be able to ask for another sick note?

How long did some of you take off work. I gave bith when Jacob was 18 weeks and I just feel like my worl has ended. I have my up days and my down days, but now its getting to the point im due back at work my days are just down.

Just wanna curl up in a ball and sleep forever!
xxxx

Really sorry to hear what you're going through at the moment. I had a miscarriage at the end of 2008 and it was awful. I wasn't anywhere near as far gone as you though (I had a MMC diagnosed at 12 week scan - baby measuring just over 7 weeks). Going back to work is tough but I found it was good to get back to normal. All the time I was at home, I was just moping around and I needed to get back on with my life. Maybe if you don't like your job, now's the time to start looking for something else so maybe it will feel like a complete new start.

Hope the doctors can give you some help and you feel better soon xxx

i had a few days off but i lost a lot earlier that 18 weeks, so no where near as traumatic as you, take as long as you need your whole world has been turned upside down i split with my OH during the mmc.

so sorry for everything that has happened if you need a chat i am hear. don't rush yourself xxxx

Oh hun, I can imagine your dread, especially if work was already horrible to you to begin with.

Perhaps see how you go for a few days, if it gets too much then maybe look for another job, or some time to yourself to heal

Hm..I know what you mean about wanting to curl up in a ball and sleep forever. I had a MC much earlier than you lost your baby, so I really cannot imagine what you are going through. I was dreading and dreading going back to work after being off for a week. I found that the first day back was difficult just getting started (I also treat patients, I'm a therapist so that was sort of difficult) but then I was glad I had gone back. Going to work, I had no choice but to go through the motions unlike at home where I just zoned out all day, so in a way it forced me back to some sort of normalcy. This is just my first week back, and it is difficult but for me I felt it helped overall, because if I kept putting it off I would never go back. Definitely figure out what's best for you -- maybe you could try going back and if you feel it was too soon, you can get another note and take some more time off. I really don't like my job at the moment either which makes it much more difficult on top of everything else....Let us know how it goes... I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby, Jacob.... Hang in there and take your time...

Its quite obvious you are stressed, depressed and under and enormous amount of strain at the moment.

Book an appointment with your GP today and explain how you are feeling, the upheavals and trauma you have been through the past six weeks, stress you cannot possibly return to work just yet and ask for another few weeks off.

Maybe once you are settled back with your Mum you can start to look forward and make plans for the future.

I truly feel for you, losing a baby is hard enough without your relationship breaking down also.

Go see your GP ASAP!!!

Wendy x

O.K here goes, i had a nightmare with work (still am long story)! I too became unwell after my missed miscarage which long story short mmc at week 12 medical managment failed to work 6 weeks later they realised and i had emergancy ERPC! i was off work for all of this time so about 9 weeks in the first bought!

I MADE A BIG MISTAKE! i felt like you pressured and went back too soon, not only was i likely still very strssed possibly even depressed? (my drs keep offering me pills) so on retunring for 1 week i got my first period and melt down back on the sick for a few days then went back again still wasnt well ended up back on the sick was admitted to hospital with severe constipation (likely cause stress of everything) However then i returned to work again and i was brought to a capability meeting! arggggghhh any how rant over i have an ongoing grievence in and will make sure they dont ever get away with it again!

In a nutshell though i have been to hell and back it started to go wrong in August September last year! I am still undergoing tests on my bowels to rule anything nasty out but im expecting after all these tests (not nice tests) i will get the result normal IBS brought on by stress and hormones!

One thing i have learnt though!!! You are not mad you are entitled to feel as low or as unhappy as you like! screww work do not go back till your ready only you will know when that is! Ask for councilling it may or may not help but christ anything is worth a try if it gets you outta ya rut!

Christ youve broke up lost your baby so in a nutshell you are swallowed by a blackhole thinking wheres my future i cant see one any more but somewhere in there you still think i need to go back to work i wana be able to sleep!!

So go to your dr get a sick note ask for a month (safes you the stress of going back for anotherone i know even the little things can feel like climbing mount everest like calling and making the apt with the dr!)

Ask to be reffered for counciling post your sick not to work and forgot about them!

Try and rememeber what you enjoyed in life before Jacob and the other half and learn how to do it again!

Be easy on yourself and stop worrying what others think this is about you! AND ONLY YOU CAN HELP YOU! SO DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT FOR YOU AND YOU ALONE!

Iam so so sorry that you are having to go through all of this. As if you haven't been through enough. Iam sending you all of my love and hugs xxx

Hey Girls,

Thanks for all your kind words.

I went back to the doctors this morning, she has changed my pills to some that will help me sleep and tackle my depression to.

She has signed me off for 4 weeks - I didnt even ask her to, she said she thinks I need to start sleeping again, to speak to the mental health team and to get the results of Jacobs post mortom before I even consider returning to work.

I feel relieved but i feel terrible for my boss - i will have been off for 12 weeks when I go back.

Oh well, hated the job anyway lol!

Thanks again all xx

Start looking for a new job!!!! Maybe the focus and distraction you need??? You have had a crappy time if you need 12 days or 12 weeks off who cares. I went back too early really but it got me out i work as a nanny so was hard but my bosses were amazing and put me on short days and wanted me to have more time off. Do what you need to do.I have been having councilling best thing I could have done. You and Jacob will be in my thoughts xxx Aswell as all the other lovely ladies and their beautiful angel babies xxxx