Hi, I have just found out that I have had a missed miscarriage, (was 11 weeks, baby died at 8 weeks) I have opted for medical assistance to release the pregnancy as I can't face a general anaesthetic for a D&C. I go for the first tablet tomorrow then admitted on Friday. Has anyone been through this, my head is all over the place and heard all sorts about the pain, it doesn't work etc

Hi, I havent had medical management so cant help with that sorry. Sorry for yr loss. I had D and C yesterday and I am so glad I did it that way tbh hun. At one point I was gonna run out the room but I woke up and it was all over and was the closure i needed but everyone is different. Good luck x

So sorry for your loss too. I just feel so gutted, i have googled everything about the subject all night, they tell the news as kindly as possible and seconds later are giving you the options about course of action, my head is all over the place. My mum and sis think the D and C is the best option, but I am probably pathetic, but petrified of a general anaesthetic

I too think the way they tell you its all over and yr options in the same sentence terrible. I mean you feel like sayin "give me time to process what youve just said before I make this huuuge decision." I took 2 weeks out after being told as I dont think yr in the right place to decide whats best after being told horrible news. I was so so scared of the op and anaesthetic. Ive only had anaesthetic once 10 years ago and I was crapping myself!! I spoke to some lovely people on here who put my mind at ease a little but naturally u always have those nerves hanging around. When I went into hospital yesterday everyone from the ward nurses, doctors, anaesthetists, gyno's were all lovely cos it says on all your forms that they all see that you have had a mc and they really do sympathise with you and make you feel better. I asked could I have a pre med. Basically when you are lying down they give you an injection that you dont feel and say do you feel a little drunk now? As you think "mmm, yeh I do actually" (and its quite a nice feeling too!) next thing yr waking up in recovery and 10 mins later back in ward. The worst thing about the whole thing for me was the fact I couldnt eat before hand. Once yr in the ward they make you have tea and toast and go the loo before they think about letting you go.

I considered the tablets but I couldnt bear the thought of being at home with blood loss and having to loose everything on my own. With the D and C, you dont get to see any of the horrible stuff. It depends totally on each individual as to whats the best option for you. For me, it wouldve been more upsetting to see it all and be alone and I felt safer in hospital having the D and C as you are monitored the whole time you are there.

Hope I have helped a little hun x x

Thanks lovely, just been on the phone to a friend who told me the same thing she said the medical option is horrendous, as you are physically, very painfully letting go and mentally don't want to. I am at a loss now, the last time I went under was when i was ten having my tonsils out!! I am petrified. This way, I will undergo the process in hospital on friday though, with full pain relief and they said i don't have to see anything, it wil be taken away. The pain though is total bereavement though, to be honest I think I couldn't care less about the physical pain, if that makes sense, and the guilt is unbelievable, no matter what anyone says i still feel i was somehow to blame. what a nightmare. i never understood the pain of miscarriage but now....

Hi

I had Medical Management almost a month ago and can totally understand where you are coming from wanting that option.

For me I did not want to go to sleep and wake up and my baby had just gone. My hospital did not send me home, I had the first tablet at home that does not do much and two days later I went into the hospital from 8am to have the tablets administered.

I was in all day and to be honest the pain was like a bad period thats all. I had pain control for the contractions and was well looked after. I saw my baby pass and although it was upsetting it also gave me the oportunity to grieve properly.

I went back last week to check everything was ok and I had recovered fully to start trying again and all is fine.

I know how hard this must be for you and please message me if you want any more advice.

Take Care

Charlotte x

Youve gotta do it whatever way is best for you but i would take a couple of days to think about it. As for blame. Totally not yr fault hunn. Its not as if you spent yr pregnant days getting legless and not looking after yrself. You can only do so much and unfortunately nature takes care of the rest! Do not blame yrself and as for the pain, dont u think yr going thru enough emotional pain at the moment? Please dont think you deserve any kind of physical pain. What you need is the chance to move forward wen yr ready of course.

Its a very sad time for you but either the D and C or tablets should bring some closure for you. Last time I had anaesthetic was for my tonsils. Yesterday was nothing (pain wise) compared to gettin yr tonsils out hun. Dont forget, you're only under for a matter of 10 mins anyway. x

If i am being rational, then I know that is completely right, nothing I did. The midwife said most prob Genetic, but then, irrationally, I am now forty, I can't help feeling that it is my egg quality. You must think I am a total loon!! I am just all over the place. Til Friday, like you experienced, the baby is still in me. I talk, I feel better, rational, the next I am tears again, I don't know what to do with myself. The main thing is getting the event out of the way, one step at a time. Thank you so much for talking to me though, you must be feeling whacked

I think I am bonkers!! I am absolutely petrified re an anaesthetic, I don't want to be wheeled on a trolley,what if I didn't wake up ( potty as it sounds!) I have a near three year old, that needs me too, all that is going through my mind. On the other hand, I don't want to see the baby - the midwife assures me I don't have to, but like you, i feel i will have a bit more control of the situation, without being put to sleep so i made that decision. Then, whilst they mean well, have had couple of friends, having gone through the medical option, say it is very very . Having said that I have been in induced on my last pregnancy with my son, so know what to expect. You, however, have made me feel alot better, re the pain, but the actual passing of the baby is bothering me, and what will I feel? Thankyou so much for your advice, If this is too painful for you to go over, I fully understand. How are you feeling now a month later?

I know exactly how you are feeling, even one month on I can go from perfectly normal and rational to crying.

I found telling people the worst especially those close to me.

To be honest you are going through one of the worst times at the moment and it will get better. For me it was worse still carrying the baby and feeling pregnant but knowing it was all going to be over soon.

If you want any more advice I am here xx