Sorry just seen your last mail

You really do not have to see the baby so do not let that bother you. It was only because I was looking that I saw it. It felt like very mild contractions and they were not too bad. I have no pain threshold and neither have I had any children before this was my first.

During the procedure you are just aware that you need to pass something and then go to the toilet. I was with my husband who was amazing and came to help me everytime. I will not say its a pleasent experience but certainly not as traumatic as I thought.

I am not sure about your hospital but I was admitted on a sunday when the ward was quiet and placed in a private room with my own shower and toilet. Which ensured I was looked after and we both had privacy.

Well a month on and yes things have started to get a bit easier. I am back at work after 2 weeks off which gave me time to grieve and get back on track.

I cant say I am over it and sometimes talking about it helps and other times when I talk about it I cry but its easier.

I am 33 and have been trying for a long while so we were devestated so now we just want to try again and hope that it all works out ok this time.

Yr feelings are totally rational and yr gonna be all over the place at the minute. For the 2 weeks I waited for my D and C I was convinced some days that my baby was fine then other days would realise I was carrying just a pregnancy sac and would break down. I was torturing myself. If you couldve seen me last week compared to just 1 day after my D and C you wouldnt believe it. My OH said last night that he was so scared he hid all the paracetamol last week!!

If you want any info about the op then just PM me. I too was so scared of mot waking up but if you have had anaesthetic before (which you have) then you know u are not allergic to it. The hospital also make sur eyr mot high risk for anaesthitc too by taking bloods, blood pressure, heart rate, etc etc and they are quite open about leaving their recordings with you. I felt that made me feel more at ease that I could see I was very low risk on the chart. x

I just found out yesterday (at 11 weeks, baby went at 7) and am going in tomorrow for D&C, the doc didn't give me a choice, said it's best this way and tho at first wanted to do it naturally, today I want it over with. Can't stop crying. Am not afraid of the anesthesia as have had lots of ops including a lap to help me get pg. I just feel so shit and empty.

I am so sorry to hear about your mmc. But you should have a choice over which procedure you have. The early pregnancy unit gave me three choices, either natural, Medical Managemant or D&C. I had medical management.

xx

Sorry for yr loss Bellamamma....hope tmorrow goes well for you. Although yr angel will always be in yr heart, I hope tomorrow is the start of lots of happy times ahead for you x

Oh Sweetheart, I can totally relate to you, had a bleed yesterday morning ten half weeks, two hours later, am told the baby has died 2 weeks ago - my world fell apart. I am an absolute mess, I haven't dressed today, been up all night on web, crying etc. I am going tomorrow for the first tablet and then hospital all day on Friday. I am trying to take comfort in that I have a lovely little boy who is nearly 3, who incidentally has been up all night cuddling me, can you believe. None the less, this is a little baby in its own right, my little boys brother or sister and I don't want to let go.... My thoughts are with you tomorrow, I just wish I had the guts to go for the op, but I feel medical is the way for me xx

Hi Whyme, i am so sorry for your loss x


I had a mmc and like you decided to opt for medical management last week.
I read around the forum and too was frightened what it would be like but i have to honest, physically, it wasn't as hard as i thought it would be.

I wont lie it was difficult to face but you just have to be brave.


I had the first tablet last tuesday and had to stay on the ward for one hour as the tablet can make you sick, i felt nauseous but that was all and sent home. I was told i may have pains and bleeding but only had a few niggles on the tuesday but no bleeding. I then went back on the thursday at 9am, i too was put in a private room with my partner and the nurse came and gave me two tablets which she told me would make my womb contract, she advised me if nothing had happened in the next four hours i would recieve a further two tablets but within twenty minutes i started to feel uncomfortable with pain similar to really bad period pains. i then started to bleed quite heavy.

i was given paracetamol and diclofenac to ease the pain which it did until about an hour and half later the pain built up to a point where i was uncomfortable no matter which way i sat or lay, i was about to ask for more pain relief when i just had the sudden urge to just sit on the toilet??? The nurse had given me bed pans to place over the toilet to collect whatever i passed, once i sat on the toilet the pain eased off and i passed the baby/sac. I chose to look in the pan but you dont have to you will just know that its gone. Once this had happened all the pain almost went just like light period pains left but i must warn you that for about 40mins after i did lose a lot of blood. The nurse explained this is normal and that the womb is still contacting to get rid of excess blood and tissue. I chose to continue sitting on the toilet and let it pour into the pan but this soon stemmed and slowed right down. They kept me for a further hour checking my blood pressure etc. The doctor then examined me and explained she had examined what i had passed and that i had passed the baby and then sent me home. I was told that i could bleed for up to 14 days but it has been 5 days now and it seems to be stopping.

I just now need to look to trying to heal myself emotionally.

I hope its not too hard for you on friday and please try not to worry yourself too much.

Bigs hugs hun x x x

hello, i thought i'd post this as went through it 4 wks ago, i found out 2 wks b4 xmas that id had a missed miscrriage, at 11 wks preg, baby died at 6 wks, i was then given the optiont o miscarry naturally, which i chose to do, it was the worst thing i have proberbly ever put myself through(and i have 2 children) it all happend on a friday afternoon bled so heavy i couldnt get off the toilet for 3hrs,i thought that was it over!! only when had check up scan, there was still stuff there!!
I then had to take my first tablet, and then admitted two days later, and given two tablets every two hours , for 6 hours which gives you stomach cramps and your supposed to pass whatever is left, unfortunatly that didnt work for me either and eventually i was put to sleep for the d&c later that night, it took overall 5 weeks to sort the whole thing out!!....now 4 weeks on having my first period which is horrendous...good luck and hope everything goes better for you!!!...xxx

hi bella, please let me know if you need more info. or support. I just had d&c two weeks ago - I was 11 weeks pregnant and was told that baby only developed to 7 weeks. I was given three options and my DH and I chose D&C. I needed to grieve properly and begin healing. I felt that it was the best option for me. I was given a tablet to soften and slightly dilate my cervix and one hour later I was given general anasthetic (off to sleep) woke up shortly after and told everything went as planned and offered some pain relief. I wasn't in a lot of pain but I was a bit naughty and asked for the morphine they were offering - thought it might take the edge off the lousy,lousy day.

All in all, I went into hospital at 7 am and DH picked me up and took me home shortly after noon. went home and slept and cuddled my DH and ate yummy favorite foods. I bled minimally for approx 10 days, and had very little pain or discomfort (just tender abdomen and mild mild cramping) little painful to go #2 - felt pulling sensation - I had a couple days bright red bleeding and only had to change pad every 4 hours for hygeine reasons - not cus pad was full. this followed by about 7 days brownish muck. Sorry for details but I wish I knew this.

I know why other women chose different ways of managing this terrible loss. It's so personal but I do not regret the choice I made. it was right for me. I wasn't prepared for anymore shocking circumstances.

I am so, so sorry . I know the pain your in. Time heals a little more each day, I promise.

Thanks so much for this groovygirl, I am also happy with having had the D&C, it went well and I'm having very little if no bleeding or pain, just the terrible emptiness. I too have been eating everything I usually wouldn't! I do feel stronger every day and am looking forward to a day with no crying...I know it'll come, thanks again for your encouraging words, I am sorry for your loss as well, hugs