Feeling more down as Christmas approaches

Las78 · Dec 12th, 2009, 03:33 AM

I put my Christmas tree up the other night and just sat there for ages thinking I should have my little boy with me, he would have been 5 months old now, I wonder what he would look like, I read up on what milestone's he would have been coming up to, I look at presents in the shops thinking what would I have bought for him - I miss him so much and wish things had been different.

I am 5 days away in this preg from the date I lost Ryan, I'm a bag of nerves, even dreamt I lost this one last night and it was so vivid.

Life feels so unfair sometimes, I know I am lucky to have this little one I am carrying but as horrible as it may sound I want it to be Ryan, all I want is my little boy back!
I feel really guilty for saying that.

I really never expected to feel like this 10 months later!

fluffyblue · Dec 12th, 2009, 05:14 AM

I know how you feel im in pieces at the moment about everything. Just wanna curl up and never wake up just cant snap out of it and everything trivial seems like a massive obstacle. xxx

catfromaus · Dec 12th, 2009, 05:47 AM

I feel exactly this way. Aiden would have been born yesterday, and all I want is her. I don't want to have to wait until next Christmas, I want to be a Mum, and doing all the Christmas stuff, now!
I really hope that you get through the next few days well, I'm sure everything in the new pregnancy will be fine. I know that doesn't stop you missing Ryan. You shouldn't feel guilty about that, it is completely natural.
Lots of love,
Cat
xxx

Dec 12th, 2009, 03:33 AM	#1
Las78 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 1,141	Feeling more down as Christmas approaches I put my Christmas tree up the other night and just sat there for ages thinking I should have my little boy with me, he would have been 5 months old now, I wonder what he would look like, I read up on what milestone's he would have been coming up to, I look at presents in the shops thinking what would I have bought for him - I miss him so much and wish things had been different. I am 5 days away in this preg from the date I lost Ryan, I'm a bag of nerves, even dreamt I lost this one last night and it was so vivid. Life feels so unfair sometimes, I know I am lucky to have this little one I am carrying but as horrible as it may sound I want it to be Ryan, all I want is my little boy back! I feel really guilty for saying that. I really never expected to feel like this 10 months later!

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Dec 12th, 2009, 05:14 AM	#2
fluffyblue On a break (TTC) BnB Addict Join Date: May 2009 Location: Birmingham UK Posts: 2,543	I know how you feel im in pieces at the moment about everything. Just wanna curl up and never wake up just cant snap out of it and everything trivial seems like a massive obstacle. xxx

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Dec 12th, 2009, 05:47 AM	#3
catfromaus Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 1,778	I feel exactly this way. Aiden would have been born yesterday, and all I want is her. I don't want to have to wait until next Christmas, I want to be a Mum, and doing all the Christmas stuff, now! I really hope that you get through the next few days well, I'm sure everything in the new pregnancy will be fine. I know that doesn't stop you missing Ryan. You shouldn't feel guilty about that, it is completely natural. Lots of love, Cat xxx

Status: Offline

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