i misscarried last year. the baby was 10 weeks but as i didnt bleed or have any signs of a misscarage we didnt find out untill the scan at 14 weeks. it was the most devistating day of our lives, we wanted our little baby so badly.

i fell pregnant again a few month after and have just given birth to my (almost) 2 week old, beautifull baby boy.

the problem is that since iv bought ryan home iv been having a horrible recouring nightmare.

in this night mare there is me and my hubbie and baby ryan and every thing is going great untill i go through a door with someone and there is another baby. this baby is sick and i think hes dying but no one will help him. it like no one cares, they all just shut the door! iv been waking up crying.
i feel like this is my subcontious punishing me, i love my baby more than anything but this nightmare has been waking me every night making me doubt myself....

i dont want to forget my lost baby, i just want to let go....

sorry if im posting in the wrong place, i just needed to let it out. :S

Hi

Sorry to hear you're having a tough time of it. In the early days of my pregnancy after finding out, I constantly dreamt that I was out drinking or taking drugs and would suddenly remember that I was pregnant and would wake up crying with guilt even though it wasn't real. The mind has many ways of coping with worry, stress and traumatic events, is it possible that you never really dealt with it fully before when it happened? Or had the chance to fully talk it out with someone? Maybe now would be the time to talk to someone and you can move forward. Sorry if not much help, hope it doesn't continue too long though x x x x

Oh hunny,
That sounds so horrible.
Please don't punish yourself for what happened. I have just had an MMC at 10 weeks and know how painful it all is. You will never, ever forget that precious baby you wanted so much, but you have an earthly baby now and you must look after them without guilt. I am sure your angel will be proud to be a big brother or sister, and they will know they are always in your heart.
Sweet dreams

I have re occurring nightmares aswell, that im back in the hospital being scanned and they tell me over and over it horrible.Dont punish yourself for moving forward, your little bean would be so happy that you have given them a brother and i havent a doubt in my mind that they would be proud of you.Its could be that since having your little man your just thinking more of the other little one that should be with you and thats normal hun, maybe you could speak to someone at the miscarriage association? Hope your doing ok xx