Ok so personally im finding christmas very difficult to deal with, all the cheer and babies first christmas decorations .Ive seen other posts saying the same.Its usually my favourite time of year but this year it just isnt what it should be and theres so much missing its just hard.So heres a thread about dealing with christmas, if you have an idea to make it easier please share I have a little glass angel on my christmas tree this year that i was given after i came out of hospital,im trying to find a place that does personalised name ones but no luck so far.Its nice to have though, like hes part of the celebrations in his own little way. Hope everyones doing ok and any suggestions are very welcome

I really dont know what to suggest as to how to cope.. I am finding it sper rough as well. I am loathing it this year.

I will be spending it apart from my oh, I think 5 days space will do us the world of good

Going to see friends, and try and keep busy

Will be with my mum..so change of scenery- despite how she feels about the miscarriage..I know it will be good not to be in the house, thinking about it..let someone else look after me for a few days

I dont know what else..I wanted to get an orchid for coral..they have some special ones 1/2 price at marks.. I think I will get that tommorow..just hope its okay whilst I am away

Hope someone else has better ideas than me lol

Hugs sweetie

Thank you for this thread...I wondered whether I was just being negative, finding it difficult to cope with all of it!

We're going away for Christmas...can't face everyone and struggling with the whole concept of Christmas and what it's about. We're pretending that it's not December and postponing the whole thing until we feel better and focusing on the new year...

It's just too difficult seeing all my family with their babies and my best friend who I usually spend Christmas Eve with got pregnant at the same time as I did and is the same number of weeks as I would be... Just can't do it!

Gutted about the whole thing, usually love the tradition and all but can't face it. We'd rather pretend it isn't Christmas yet...never underestimate the power of denial! Wish things were different!

Love and hugs to everyone else and hope everyone can enjoy their Christmas celebrations whenever you have them!

hugs for everybody...

it is so hard. my church is having a "griefshare memorial service" for people who've lost loved ones and are finding the holiday season hard. so they can come to the church on a certain night to light a candle, pray, sing, and listen to a reading of some bible verses. I think that's pretty cool, unfortunately it's the night I'm having an early Christmas celebration with part of the family so I can't go. I felt like I was disappointing my baby by not being able to go to something as wonderful as the church was offering. But there's a separate night of just worship music a few days before... and that's my favorite thing ever, it always makes me feel good, so I'm going to go to that and in my mind that'll be my private way of honoring Justice's memory and grieving through beautiful songs.

Unfortunately I have no other ideas for how to cope. I've also been very sensitive to everything baby related - really want to buy a baby related ornament for the tree but none are right for a mother who's lost her child. I dunno. some times I'm ok, other times I'm a wreck. like just now I looked at my Christmas tree and was happy, but then I looked down to see the memory box and felt empty.

Hi. I can relate to this. My daughter (lost at 22 weeks) was due on Christmas Day, so it's going to be a really interesting one this year! We are now TTC again and my period is also due Christmas Day. Really couldn't be more of a challenge as the hormones will be raging and all of the hope and fear of a new pregnancy at the forefront. I have decided that regardless of having the in laws etc here I am going to be very open about taking the time I need on Christmas morning to think about my daughter, to light a candle for her, or whatever I need/want to do. I have thought about putting some decorations on the tree with her name written on them, to include her as part of our family celebrations. I also had the idea to buy my step daughters a wee present from their sister. Most of all, I have decided that it will be a day of celebration and of being grateful for all I have, and of hope for all that is still to come. I have lost 3 babies and times like Christmas really highlight the absence of a baby to hold, but also make me treasure everything I do have. Maybe that will help. I think it's about doing whatever feels right for you and will help you to enjoy the day.Best wishes. Sam

I'm finding it hard too everyone is getting excited and I just want to scream but I'm not pregnant any more how can I be happy. The only way I am going to get through Christmas is if I am pregnant again will be testing on 23rd December.

We will probably go to mums grave(where we now think of it as the babys resting place even though there is no ashes or anything- just in spirit) I cried when h suggested to go up there to say happy Christmas to them both

we are with family all over Christmas so I hope it will be a good distraction- though we will be seeing our nephew, It will be the first time since the mc that we will see h's family and I'm dreading it as his mum is bound to mention it, think I will politiely say that I don't want to talk about it as it's too painful

I can't stand the thought of xmas at the moment. I normally love it but I'm really struggling this year. I've done nearly all my xmas shopping but it's been really hard I can't even face being in the shops I just feel like saying forget it all I don't want to share any presents etc. I've stopped presents with friends this year and they understand. Doesn't really help that brothers unplanned baby is due on the 12th December. I'm not spending xmas at my mum's this year cause I think that his baby and ex girlfriend will be there I feel like she is taking over my family and I don't feel welcome there this xmas. Due to go to a friends baby shower next week too and it's just too much to deal with.

Hi,
I hadn't actually started thinking of xmas, or done presents or anything. I am basically not in the festive mood. Mayb again its becos I hevnt been out for over a week so not aware of wats around mayb when I see pple in the festive it might change. If it does its goin 2 be a low key 1, m8 get a xmas tree a few deco. As for my baby I have a music box that I got wiv lil notes, ltrs, prego tests, and docs ltrs so might pput that near the xmas tree... sori don't hev anything uplifting, am trying to look forward to ttc again, but I feel so scared @ the same time!

Hi,
I hadn't actually started thinking of xmas, or done presents or anything. I am basically not in the festive mood. Mayb again its becos I hevnt been out for over a week so not aware of wats around mayb when I see pple in the festive it might change. If it does its goin 2 be a low key 1, m8 get a xmas tree a few deco. As for my baby I have a music box that I got wiv lil notes, ltrs, prego tests, and docs ltrs so might pput that near the xmas tree... sori don't hev anything uplifting, am trying to look forward to ttc again, but I feel so scared @ the same time!

I completely know how you are all feeling. My EDD was Jan 20th and I would have been finishing work this Friday 11th to start a month off before baby was due. I am just dreading a certain part of Xmas I just keep crying and saying I want my baby back. I have two baby nephews to buy for and have done it on line becuase I cant bear the thought of going into baby shops.

Every day that goes by means something and it kills me inside. I have had two losses since this one but none have hurt me as much as the one in June becuase it was a MMC and I saw its HB 3 times on a scan.

Im just gonna have a really good cry at Christmas and then ill be ok, I have a great OH and he will just give me a big cuddle. Ive also got two great kids already so I thank God for them xxx