Dealing with christmas - Page 2

fluffyblue · Dec 7th, 2009, 04:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SamEP

Hi. I can relate to this. My daughter (lost at 22 weeks) was due on Christmas Day, so it's going to be a really interesting one this year! We are now TTC again and my period is also due Christmas Day. Really couldn't be more of a challenge as the hormones will be raging and all of the hope and fear of a new pregnancy at the forefront. I have decided that regardless of having the in laws etc here I am going to be very open about taking the time I need on Christmas morning to think about my daughter, to light a candle for her, or whatever I need/want to do. I have thought about putting some decorations on the tree with her name written on them, to include her as part of our family celebrations. I also had the idea to buy my step daughters a wee present from their sister. Most of all, I have decided that it will be a day of celebration and of being grateful for all I have, and of hope for all that is still to come. I have lost 3 babies and times like Christmas really highlight the absence of a baby to hold, but also make me treasure everything I do have. Maybe that will help. I think it's about doing whatever feels right for you and will help you to enjoy the day.Best wishes. Sam

Thats a beautiful thought and very touching xxxxxx I love the thought about you taking the time on Christmas Morning too.

catfromaus · Dec 7th, 2009, 05:20 AM

I'm having trouble dealing with what would have been my first Christmas as a Mummy. I can feel myself getting teary typing!
I've knitted her a little stocking to hang on the tree. It has her name on it, and a little angel figurine sewn in.
But then, DH wanted to put the tree up, and I just couldn't. I couldn't face another year just the two of us. So our house is Christmas free.
Next week, I have to go to a Christmas party with DH's family (all of whom have babies) on my due date.
I am pregnant again, and grateful for it, but I'll be especially missing Aiden at Christmas time.
Not sure this helped, but I really wanted to thank you for starting this thread. I know I needed to get those emotions out.

Cat
xxx

Drazic<3 · Dec 7th, 2009, 11:20 AM

all round girlies.

Like you, I am dreading Xmas. We should be over 4 months by then. We were going to buy each other Xmas pressies like clothes and baby stuff. Now? I don't want anything. I don't want to pretend to be happy. I don't want to celebrate 2010 coming in. I want it all to f off to be honest. We are not having an Xmas tree this year, just got some lights and a decoration for Edan's memorial garden.

Sorry babes, not exactly helpful. I think it will hard for us all but together we will get through it

jezzle · Dec 7th, 2009, 17:07 PM

Thank you for this thread, i've been dreading Christmas and it helps to know that this is 'normal'. I should have been12 weeks on Christmas Day and I was so excited about it and it just all feels so horrible and unfair now. I had decided to spend the day with my family rather than DH's because his brothers all have their 'accidental' babies, but just found out my sis is pregnant so really don't know what to do. I'm very happy for her as I know how much she has wanted this, but also feel really selfish because Christmas should have been all about me being pregnant and instead its about her. Sorry to moan but this is the only place I can.

I think the idea of a decoration is lovely and is something that can be repeated each year because we will never forget our angels.

to everyone
J xx

londonbird · Dec 7th, 2009, 17:20 PM

I am struggling... really.. an..annoying colleague shall we say said..oooh you must be looking forward to christmas ... I was completly dumbfounded and snapped at her..

Taking a duvet day tommorow..going to bite someones poor head off soon!

....Anyone else want to escape to an exotic island..with a book and a large drink??

shocker · Dec 7th, 2009, 17:53 PM

^^ IM IN!

Thanks everyone for sharing, its such a child focused holiday really so facing it this year after everything is just making me feel a bit bitter to be honest. I put up the christmas tree last night (my nieces and nephews were insisting) got halfway through and had to stop.Finished it off this evening and wrapped presents.Its always been my favourite holiday, im a real 'christmas person' but its just not right this year.Im trying to get into the swing of it but theres so much missing.Hugs for everyone

KA92 · Dec 7th, 2009, 19:04 PM

christmas??isnt on my agenda as of yet...find it easier if i dont tihnk sbout it and just take each day as it comes...though my mum gave me an early "xmas prezzie"in private tonight (as my bro and sis didnt know about eihter pregnancies we all agreed to keep quiet)

She gave me a framed scan pic of baby taylor(i gave them to her couldnt handle them being with me kept one that stays in a box)and she gave me Jamies babygro she bought her and always hid...

Shes got two christmas tree baubles that wer gona hang on the tree so Jamie and Baby Taylor can be with us on xmas day

i sound silly lol

veganmum2be · Dec 10th, 2009, 17:25 PM

i want nothing to do with christmas. at all. i was so excited and so where my entire family. first christmas as a mum to be, 10 weeks on christmas day

12 weeks in the new year. i'm gutted. and now i have nothing to look forward to.

had the decs up already, but i got in today and just flung my small tree and decs in a bin bag.

today just bought all the family pressies online getting delivered here and they will pick them up unwrapped. figured i better order now before i'm a complete state when bean leaves my body. i want nothing this christmas. all i wanted was a healthy bean.

Klandagi · Dec 11th, 2009, 08:12 AM

This year I hate Christmas. I have no Christmas spirit. I refuse to decorate. My mother put up the tree and has been my rock since OH is in Canada... She's the only member of our family (aside from best friends) that knew about my precious angel. Normally we pick out a new ornament every year and this year I can't bring myself to do it... Not at all. I don't want anything. Now that poppy seed has left my body I sincerely and fully still do not want anything. I hate the lights. I hate the decorations. I hate the cheerfulness I hate seeing children (especially babies) waiting to sit on Santa's lap at the mail.te being boxed in on elevators with pregnant women and women pushing strollers (especially twins as they're double lucky and I hate them double for it) I'm down right hateful. Period.

Or maybe it's not hate but just unbridled jealousy?

Spending it apart from my OH is making is so much worse... I honestly want to be pregnant by St. Patties day... I'm calling on it for the luck of the Irish which is my heritage. Finger's crossed...

Gosh... Too bad we don't all live near one another. We could have gotten together and just commiserated over coffee/cocoa/eggnog and just felt better knowing other people who understand are near.

I'm sorry I sound like a rotten bitch... I really am. It's like the phrase "you're a monster one, mister grinch" suddenly applies to me.

analyticalema · Dec 14th, 2009, 04:32 AM

I totally relate to what you're saying...can't wait for Christmas to be well and truly OVER! I am unbelievably jealous and hateful of people at the moment. It's just not fair...

I keep bumping into people with children that weren't planned and pregnant women that just don't seem to have a clue about how to care for their children or developing babies that continue to drink and smoke and don't give a second thought to their babies or children they seem to be ignoring whilst they're drinking themselves into oblivion in the name of Chrismas Celebrations! RAHHHHH!

I want to tell them how bloody stupid they are because alcohol could cause this and smoking could do that and when I have told them their response had been..."oh well...It's Christmas!"

They're just so ungrateful and Christmas is not an excuse!!!!!! IT'S JUST NOT FAIR!

I want to scream at all the people that keep telling me to come out for a Christmas drink and get into the Christmas Spirit... "I rarely drink anyway, just stop asking me!" I feel like they think I'll be more sociable if I'm drunk...I WONT BE!

Roll on February!

I love Our Little Baby Jesse, that will never change and I know that Jesse is in a better place but I am worried that I'm becoming so resentful of people...I need Christmas to be over before I become consumed with jealousy and bitterness!

Love and hugs to everyone on the forum and sorry for the rant! Xx

Dec 7th, 2009, 05:20 AM	#12
catfromaus Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 1,778	I'm having trouble dealing with what would have been my first Christmas as a Mummy. I can feel myself getting teary typing! I've knitted her a little stocking to hang on the tree. It has her name on it, and a little angel figurine sewn in. But then, DH wanted to put the tree up, and I just couldn't. I couldn't face another year just the two of us. So our house is Christmas free. Next week, I have to go to a Christmas party with DH's family (all of whom have babies) on my due date. I am pregnant again, and grateful for it, but I'll be especially missing Aiden at Christmas time. Not sure this helped, but I really wanted to thank you for starting this thread. I know I needed to get those emotions out. Cat xxx

Status: Offline

Dec 7th, 2009, 11:20 AM	#13
Drazic<3 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Norfolk, England. Posts: 9,295	all round girlies. Like you, I am dreading Xmas. We should be over 4 months by then. We were going to buy each other Xmas pressies like clothes and baby stuff. Now? I don't want anything. I don't want to pretend to be happy. I don't want to celebrate 2010 coming in. I want it all to f off to be honest. We are not having an Xmas tree this year, just got some lights and a decoration for Edan's memorial garden. Sorry babes, not exactly helpful. I think it will hard for us all but together we will get through it

Status: Offline

Dec 7th, 2009, 17:07 PM	#14
jezzle Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Manchester, UK Posts: 20	Thank you for this thread, i've been dreading Christmas and it helps to know that this is 'normal'. I should have been12 weeks on Christmas Day and I was so excited about it and it just all feels so horrible and unfair now. I had decided to spend the day with my family rather than DH's because his brothers all have their 'accidental' babies, but just found out my sis is pregnant so really don't know what to do. I'm very happy for her as I know how much she has wanted this, but also feel really selfish because Christmas should have been all about me being pregnant and instead its about her. Sorry to moan but this is the only place I can. I think the idea of a decoration is lovely and is something that can be repeated each year because we will never forget our angels. to everyone J xx

Status: Offline

Dec 7th, 2009, 17:20 PM	#15
londonbird Other Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 286	I am struggling... really.. an..annoying colleague shall we say said..oooh you must be looking forward to christmas ... I was completly dumbfounded and snapped at her.. Taking a duvet day tommorow..going to bite someones poor head off soon! ....Anyone else want to escape to an exotic island..with a book and a large drink??

Status: Offline

Dec 7th, 2009, 17:53 PM	#16
shocker Waiting To Try (WTT) BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: London Posts: 3,590	^^ IM IN! Thanks everyone for sharing, its such a child focused holiday really so facing it this year after everything is just making me feel a bit bitter to be honest. I put up the christmas tree last night (my nieces and nephews were insisting) got halfway through and had to stop.Finished it off this evening and wrapped presents.Its always been my favourite holiday, im a real 'christmas person' but its just not right this year.Im trying to get into the swing of it but theres so much missing.Hugs for everyone

Status: Offline

Dec 7th, 2009, 19:04 PM	#17
KA92 Other BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Dundee Posts: 3,412	christmas??isnt on my agenda as of yet...find it easier if i dont tihnk sbout it and just take each day as it comes...though my mum gave me an early "xmas prezzie"in private tonight (as my bro and sis didnt know about eihter pregnancies we all agreed to keep quiet) She gave me a framed scan pic of baby taylor(i gave them to her couldnt handle them being with me kept one that stays in a box)and she gave me Jamies babygro she bought her and always hid... Shes got two christmas tree baubles that wer gona hang on the tree so Jamie and Baby Taylor can be with us on xmas day i sound silly lol

Status: Offline

Dec 10th, 2009, 17:25 PM	#18
veganmum2be Waiting To Try (WTT) BnB Addict Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Middlesbrough Posts: 4,728	i want nothing to do with christmas. at all. i was so excited and so where my entire family. first christmas as a mum to be, 10 weeks on christmas day 12 weeks in the new year. i'm gutted. and now i have nothing to look forward to. had the decs up already, but i got in today and just flung my small tree and decs in a bin bag. today just bought all the family pressies online getting delivered here and they will pick them up unwrapped. figured i better order now before i'm a complete state when bean leaves my body. i want nothing this christmas. all i wanted was a healthy bean.

Status: Offline

Dec 11th, 2009, 08:12 AM	#19
Klandagi Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 504	This year I hate Christmas. I have no Christmas spirit. I refuse to decorate. My mother put up the tree and has been my rock since OH is in Canada... She's the only member of our family (aside from best friends) that knew about my precious angel. Normally we pick out a new ornament every year and this year I can't bring myself to do it... Not at all. I don't want anything. Now that poppy seed has left my body I sincerely and fully still do not want anything. I hate the lights. I hate the decorations. I hate the cheerfulness I hate seeing children (especially babies) waiting to sit on Santa's lap at the mail.te being boxed in on elevators with pregnant women and women pushing strollers (especially twins as they're double lucky and I hate them double for it) I'm down right hateful. Period. Or maybe it's not hate but just unbridled jealousy? Spending it apart from my OH is making is so much worse... I honestly want to be pregnant by St. Patties day... I'm calling on it for the luck of the Irish which is my heritage. Finger's crossed... Gosh... Too bad we don't all live near one another. We could have gotten together and just commiserated over coffee/cocoa/eggnog and just felt better knowing other people who understand are near. I'm sorry I sound like a rotten bitch... I really am. It's like the phrase "you're a monster one, mister grinch" suddenly applies to me.

Status: Offline

Dec 14th, 2009, 04:32 AM	#20
analyticalema Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: UK Posts: 96	I totally relate to what you're saying...can't wait for Christmas to be well and truly OVER! I am unbelievably jealous and hateful of people at the moment. It's just not fair... I keep bumping into people with children that weren't planned and pregnant women that just don't seem to have a clue about how to care for their children or developing babies that continue to drink and smoke and don't give a second thought to their babies or children they seem to be ignoring whilst they're drinking themselves into oblivion in the name of Chrismas Celebrations! RAHHHHH! I want to tell them how bloody stupid they are because alcohol could cause this and smoking could do that and when I have told them their response had been..."oh well...It's Christmas!" They're just so ungrateful and Christmas is not an excuse!!!!!! IT'S JUST NOT FAIR! I want to scream at all the people that keep telling me to come out for a Christmas drink and get into the Christmas Spirit... "I rarely drink anyway, just stop asking me!" I feel like they think I'll be more sociable if I'm drunk...I WONT BE! Roll on February! I love Our Little Baby Jesse, that will never change and I know that Jesse is in a better place but I am worried that I'm becoming so resentful of people...I need Christmas to be over before I become consumed with jealousy and bitterness! Love and hugs to everyone on the forum and sorry for the rant! Xx

Status: Offline

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