Not sure how to word this....

I dont know hot to feel, i dont know how i feel, it changes one minute i feel one way the next i feel another.

I burst in to tears and dont even know why im crying or what i am crying for?

When i try to deal with my emotions head on like think about them, nothing happens and i just feel numb or normal?

Then when i least expect it i burst in to tears but my mind is blank so i dont know why im crying?

Im sure the physical part is now finally over for me now (just other health issues to clear up probs stress!).

So why cant i function... some days i just dont even wana pick up the phone or get outta bed, i dont know why yet at the same time deep in my brain i wana get motivated and look forward!

I dont know what i want anymore, i used to think i had my life mapped out kind of.. and now i feel like a timid kitten who cant even decide weather im hungary or not?

Pointless rant just dont know how to snap out of this.. i really want to and do for the most part manage to stay snapped out of it, just wonder how long its gonna take to shake it off completley whatever it is im trying to shake off.

Hon im sorry for you loss - I dont know how long ago your m/c happened but dont push yourself into 'snapping out of it' it might just b too soon. You are grieving and you need to let up on yourself and give yourself time to do just that

There is no timescale to follow so set routine that will make you feel alright again. Sadly therre is no magic cure for any of us

Dont beat yourself up for feeling terrible take it slowly.

If you really need to feel as though you are progressing then do 1 small thing. Getting up or getting dressed but dont push yourself to be normal again when it will take time to do that.

Mizze

Aww hunni its not a pointless post. You are bound to feel like this, I sometimes still do - god I walked into Mothercare the other day and had to run out and I just broke down !!.

You put it in a nutshell when you said you had your life mapped out, when you get PG it opens up your senses you begin planning your life with little one and it wakes you up in a morning and gives you purpose. I sometimes think this is what you grieve more about than the actual loss. I know this feeling very well.

You will never shake it off completely however it will get easier I promise you that and one day you will wake up and you wont have forgotton but you wont be burdended with it (sorry dont mean that as a burden as a loss is never a burden).

Try to focus on a plan whether it be TTC again set yourself some goals. I have a coundown TTC ticker where I watch the days go down and it really helps me. I also get excited like a child knowing that day is not to far away !! (sad aint i) - but take your time the emotions are here long after the physical pain goes but you will get better hunni I promose you that xxxxxxxxxxxx

I cant say it gets easier...but i can promise that eventually you will be able to function better- just give it time to heal the tear in your heart- it never goes back to normal but it will get better

so tried to tell OH how i was feeling, i get the impression he wants to push it all away now, i.e it was just a ollection of cells!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARGHHHH i know he doesnt mean any harm, its just his way of dealing with it which in a way i am happy for him that he has found a way to rationalise it!

However for me it was a real baby one we named and planned a future for and im not willing to forget that! not ever! so i feel very alone now to know that OH thinks that way

I know he cares and was probs more excited about the baby than i ever was or at least showed his excitment more than me! so i know he cared-- and i understand why he now looks at it in the way he does its just i cant!

I want so much to feel better again-- it sjust with the physical things still going on as well as work nightmare and then i feel so down all the time dont wana face thingsa but force myself to!!!!

Its just so hard some days! I cant eat without feeling sick and my stomach bloating and the pain coming back, i have been havng my first af for the last 9 days am just spotting brown black discharge now! It s like i would have been 23 weeks today i found i miscarried at 11 weeks around 7-9 weeks!

So after the failed medical managment infection alergic reation to antbiotics the erpc that wasnt straight forward 6 weeks after when the drs in a & ed said my bleeding ewas a period and it wasnt needed emergancy surgery a week later!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND NOW WHEN I WENT FOR SCAN LAST WEDNESDAY SEPERATE TO MISCARRAGE WAS TOLD I HAVECYSTS ON MY SPLLEN AND no one seems to wana talk to me about it i have to wait till friday to see my gp to discuss results. i m sure they wont be anything serious but its worrsome all the same. yet my oh and every one else seems to just wana change the subject when i mention it!

i am still in pain pressure with the spotting plus the pains in my side which rafiologist said wasnt caused my cysts in spleen wtf????

SO WHAT IS CAUSIN GTHE PAIN STILL WHY I AM I STILL BLEEDING AND RECOVRING 12 WEEKS AFTER I STARTED TO MISCARRY???

WHY AM I SO UNLUCKY??

NOT WANTING SOUND PITYFULL OR SELF MOANING JUST REALLY FED UP! I WANT TO BE HEALTHY AGAIN AND JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO TO BE BETTER????????

IM SICK OF WAITNG FOR RESULTS AND TESTS AND I M SICK OF BEING IN PAIN AND NOT BEING ABLE TO EAT PROPERLY IM LOOSING WEIGHT I LOOK LIKE CRAP I AM BREAKING OUT IN SPOTS MY SKIN IS FALLING TO BITS AND MY HAIR IS COMING OUT!! !!!!!

I dont want to feel so down or unwell i want to get on with life but my body wont let me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry for the winge amazing what a few drinks will do for getting my true thoughts out.