We went for our first scan today and the sonographer couldn't get a decent scan using the picture so she said she wanted to do an internal one.

After a bit of looking around she told us that she could see signs that our baby died at around 6 weeks She got someone to come and give a second opinion and they agreed.

We were then trapsed halfway accross the hospital through the outpatients department with me crying my eyes out to speak to a senior nurse who explained what happens now - am going to have an erpc over the next couple of weeks once they have been given the go ahead. Can anyone who has had one of these tell me exactly what happens and how you feel afterwards?

Am absolutely devastated. I had managed to convince myself that because I'd been suffering with morning sickness over the past few weeks that it meant our bean was really strong and now all I keep thinking is how I've been feeling miserable and ill for absolutely no reason.

I realise now just how much we wanted this baby - I keep bursting into tears whenever I think about it

Oh Smiley...I am so sorry this has happened to you. That is what happened with my first loss, so I know exactly what you are going through. As far as the ERPC, physically for me it was very easy. The mental and emotional part is where it's difficult. Here in the states, they basically knock you out so you do not feel any kind of pain during it, and only mild cramping afterwards. I only bled for 2 days after the procedure and after that, physically I felt fine.
Nothing I can say right now will make you feel any better, but I just wanted you to know you are not alone

oh hun so sorry for your loss, i had a missed miscarriage to at 11 weeks baby had got to 11 weeks but didnt have a heartbeat, also i had really bad morning sickness to, i had my erpc last week even though i had a slight copmlication all went well , physically im doing well, and emotionally im nearly there too. Give yourself time to grieve and use the support around you. The ladies on here are so supportive too x x

Thank you both for your replies.

I know I have to think positively, there must've been a reason it wasn't meant to be and at least this shows that we can conceive (this was our first attempt). I just want to get the erpc out of the way and hopefully we can look forward to being able to start trying again once I've had my first cycle.

It's just like a real kick in the teeth after looking forward to the scan for so long then getting there and being told the horrible news. I'm not going to let it knock me down - just have to try again as soon as we can

smiley shaza i am really sorry for your loss.

The ERPC is in most cases straight forward and for someone like yourself it should be a quick procedure

Hospital half a day then home with pain killers in case you need them, you may be stiff/achiy for a few days have a period type bleed for up to 10 days after but other than that in most cases physically you will heal quick.

Mental and emotiannly you will take longer you may feel tired worthless angry lethargic no motivation lack or increase in appetite. you may find yourself hating other preg women and there babys.

Just dont beat your self up for feeling any of the emotions that come your way-take them deal with them and try to spit them out best you can!!

It looks as if a trip to the supermarket to stock up on painkillers and sanitary pads may be in order. I hate using pads but the nurse said I am not to use tampons

Can I ask those who have been through an erpc did you need to have time off work afterwards? Will the hospital be able to provide anything to say that you have had this procedure as my work can be funny about absence.

Yes ask the doctor for a sick note when they discharge you normally they give you 1 -2 weeks, my hosp said i could have 1 week then would need my gp to extend it if needed.

I would say take 2 weeks 1 week to recover physically and another week just to get yourself emotianlly strong again.

Your health is more important than work!

Yeah i hate towels too! my story is a strange one i had failed medical then 8 weeks later they discovered i needed emergancy erpc so i bled for 40 days out the last 56!

So i cant wait to get my first period again to use tampons!

Pain varies for everyone i think mine was worse than most after erpc due to length of time and stress on my body prior to the op. I would say though allow yourself a few days to just rest afterwards and dont be too harsh on yourself.

Dont panick when they come to get your consent they will warn you of rare complications!

I had a canula put in my hand which wasnt very comfortable when i woke up i had an oxygen mask on was in the recovery position and was hooked up to a drip with a hospital pad between my legs. i felt very groggy but again i was kept in over night most women go home 2-3 hrs after once youve drank water and been for a wee. You will feel groggy at first but this is normal they give you oxygen because the genral anthestic suppresses your muscles but during the short procedure 5-10mins the anthestists will be monitoring you so dont worry.

Ask all the questions you want make a list to take with you dont worry yourself just ask.

Depends on how much you want to know though for me i needed to know everything!

Hi Smiley,

Really sorry about your news hun, I had the same with my first loss. Also had the D & C, they gave me a sicknote and gave me 2 weeks ( i think if i had said 3 or 4 they would have given me that). It is 'day surgery' and I was home by 3pm, but because its a surgical procedure you will be able to get doctor's note covering absence from work, not to mention for the loss.

I don't want to try and give advice on how to cope as there is no right or wrong way, I have good days mostly but I have had low days too. I think one of the best things is to try and do whatever gives you inner peace, if thats to breakdown and cry, go shopping with friends, watch dvd's or lock yourself away for a time, then do it. Put yourself first for a few days, just take care of yourself. Wish you and your OH all the best x x

so sorry Shazza, go find my posts since Friday. I was exactly the same as you in that I only found out on Friday but managed to get D&C done just yesterday. I was slightly different tho in that they wouldn't tell me the baby was gone, just that the sac was 12 weeks (as i should have been) but the pregnancy stage only looked to be 5 weeks. they wanted to wait another 7 days to scan again but I knew there was no way I could only be 5 weeks as BFP was 29th Sept showing I was 3+ weeks and last period was 25th Aug. I had a horrendous weekend deciding what to do but when myself and OH talked it through we knew 100% that this pregnancy had ended and just wanted to get some normality back.

It is a heartbreaking time but there are lots of lovely ladies and good advice around here that help you make sense of it all. xx

oh yes and I got a sicknote to cover me until next Wed when I go on holiday. midwife was happy to give me whatever time I wanted off and she knew I had hoiday planned which was why she got me in so quickly.