I'm new on these board but just had to post a reply to your post. Your story could be my own (ERPC on 29 October at 12 weeks but baby measured 5/6 weeks). Just like the other ladies have said, don't worry too much about the ERPC, it isn't painful and for me it was a relief to have the physical side sorted for me (rather than wait around for a natural miscarriage that I think was just around the corner - had spotting like you). I had never been in hospital before so it was all a bit surreal (just kept thinking, this isn't happening to me!) but there were other brave ladies in the same boat and the hospital were great. One tip from me is take your own pads, the ones the hospital provide are grim! Afterwards you do feel groggy so take advantage of your understanding boss and take the time you need to get better physically (a few days) and more importantly mentally (who knows). Its 4 weeks for me and I still have my up and down days. Its so hard when you hear of yet another pregnant friend or pass the milestones which you had in your head for your little one. However, it does get better and soon you'll be able to focus on the future. Like you, I've taken heart in "at least we can get pregnant" line. Try to focus on the positives. The best thing anyone has said to me since is "it will happen and you will be a Mummy one day" - I keep holding onto that thought. Take care and positive thoughts. x

TripleB - sorry to hear of your loss.

I am just looking forward (for want of a better phrase_ to Tuesday now so we can go to the next stage which is all one stage closer to moving on. We had to go in to the EPU dept today to fill in all the forms and as we saw a different it was all dragged up again which was a little upsetting - yes we know it is one of those things, we know why we have to have the procedure ect I know they have to do it but I just wanted to fill in the forms and get it over and done with.

The midwife we saw did say that she thought we were dealing and coping with the whole situation very well which was nice to hear. She said it was good that we had been talking as a couple about it and that we are looking at the positives and towards the future.

I will make sure I take my own pads thanks for that, they have said I will need to take an overnight bag just in case so I'd better go and buy some new pyjamas too!

I just can't wait now to get it all over and done with and hopefully in just a few weeks I will be back in TTC again

Good luck for Tuesday, it will be fine (although naturally very upsetting) and the start of the future and TTC again. Remember a dressing gown too. As soon as I came around I wanted to go to the loo and check what was happening (!) so a gown to put over your sexy hospital robe is a good idea. Glad to hear you're getting good support from your OH. You are so right, this does bring you closer together (my DH was a sweetheart throughout) and looking on the positive side it definately made me feel we are ready to be parents. Take it easy next week, let yourself grieve but try to think positive when you can. x

Good luck for Tuesday SmileyShazza. I have mine on Monday so i'll let you know how I get on.

Something strangely reassuring happened to us after coming out of our 3rd scan on Thurs where we were told the news and arranged the ERPC, we basically ran into some v. old friends in Tesco around the corner. We had been v. upset and I was already anxious after booking the op and fate would have it that the couple we ran into had just left the hospital after having the ERPC done as they'd just had a missed miscarraige themselves! I just couldn't believe that she was up and about and actually quite spritely. It sort of put everything into perspective for me and gave me the reassurance that i'd made the right decision. She said they were really lovely to her and it wasn't as bad as she'd expected. She'd been through a horrible time as had an ectopic last year which went so badly wrong she nearly died so when I found out they'd now had a miscarriage too I suddenly felt less sorry for myself and more for them. They also took a long time to conceive whereas it happened first time for us and I am hoping as I had a healthy pregnancy with my first that this MC is a one off and i'll go on to have another healthy pregnancy next time, but some people aren't so lucky and have recurrent miscarriages or have problems trying to conceive. This experience has given me real empathy for those women and an insight into what they must be going through.

Here's to a speedy recovery for all of us on here - here's hoping we're back in First Tri as soon as we're ready with a happy ending this time.

xxx

Beanie Baby - I agree with what you say about this experience giving you an empathy for others. I never realised just how emotionally upsetting it is to have a MC obviously I knew it was a terrible thing to happen but without experiencing it first hand you can never really understand just what you go through emotionally and physically.

I had a bit of comfort as when we came out from the scan I'd received some texts from the few friends we had told asking how it all went and I thought it was better to let them know sooner as I just wanted to get it out of the way. One of my friends rang me on Wednesday and she told me that had been through an ERPC a couple of years ago and told me that it isn't as terrible as it sounds. Hearing someone I know giving me their own experience helped a great deal plus hearing all the stories on here too.

I know it isn't going to be pleasant but people go through much worse and unfortunately many women have this procedure done everyday, sometimes more than once, I really feel for those people.

Like you we conceived pretty quickly and although it didn't happen on our first cycle it was only about our 3rd or 4th since coming off BCP. I am just hoping that we will be one of those couples that are super fertile afterwards I've already ventured into WTC as I don't want to dwell too much on what was but would rather look forward to the future - hopefully in the New Year I'll be able to move to TTC.

It would be great if you could let me know how you get on in your ERPC Monday hun

So sorry for your loss. Can't really add much to what everyone else has said, but just wanted to send our positive thoughts and say that the ERPC is not bad at all, and you are on your feet pretty quickly afterwards.
Good luck and take care
X

I know tell me about it I think part of it is also because a lot of people don't talk about their full experience for fear of making people feel awkward so previously when a couple of my friends had miscarriages I obviously sympathised with them but they never went into details, so you really can't fully empathise until you've been on the emotional and physical rollercoaster yourself.

I'm so glad you've got friends who are supporting you outside of the forum also. I have been quite lucky with that too, but although i've got a toddler and I know i'm extremely lucky to be a mum already, most of my friends, including my sister are either heavily pregnant themselves at the mo or nursing newborns so I can't really get away from the constant reminder of what could have been. I just keep thinking about how I was gonna announce it to family on xmas day as my 1st scan was due the week before xmas! Oh well, I guess at least now I can drown my sorrows with some champers to get myself through the festivities!

I'll have to join you in WTT, I haven't been over there yet.

I'll let you know how I get on Mon.

Big hugs,

xxx