Oh sweetie I am so so sorry I know nothing anyone says can make this better but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone - I had a very similar situation to you, I went for a scan two weeks ago at 12 weeks and 3 days and was told there was no heartbeat, the baby had passed away at 9 weeks I was exactly the same I cried most of the afternoon and evening and it was then that I realised just how much I loved my baby and always had. I had a medical miscarriage so I can't give you advice on the erpc but from what I've heard its straightforward. I am so sorry it is such a terrible thing to happen to anyone just wanted you to know I'm here if you need to talk xxx

Thank you all so much.

I have managed to calm myself down now and after reading various information on the internet feel that the erpc will definitely be the best option. I have phoned the hospital as they were waiting on some information from me and hopefully they will be able to let me know in the morning when I can go in for the procedure.

OH has been great giving me lots of cuddles and reassuring me, I feel blessed to have such an amazing hubby I would hate to have to go through anything like this on my own.

Looks like I will have to warn work that I will be having some time off then. If they don't like it then it's tough really!

Sorry for you loss I just wanted to add that for me, once the ERPC was over I felt fine (which shocked me because I was an emotional wreck right up until the time they pushed me into theatre) and had no pain or bleeding. I really thought that I could carry on with life as normal until 2 days later when the pain and spotting started. I was then quite relieved that I was at home to work through what I'd been through and heal properly. I hope they can book you in soon so that you can also get the closure you need. My thoughts are with you

don't worry about work. I hadn't even told work I was pregnant and only started job at the beginning of Oct. I couldn't bear to ring my boss on Monday and I knew he was in a conference all day anyway so I emailed him on Sun night. He picked it up on Monday morning and said take as much time as you need. I did say I'd let him know what was goin on on Monday but because I only got back from the hosptial late evening, he must have been waiting as it was gone 9 pm by the time I emailed him again and he replied straight back. I work in the NHS funnily enough and his finishing comment was 'glad the NHS performed for you!' Poor man didn't even know I was pregnant so it must have been quite a shock for him.

I chnaed my mind about what to do about 4 times over the weekend, originally I was going to wait and the last thing I wanted to do was have surgery, I was terrified. Then I read everyone's stories and kept in mind that I really needed to give myself the best chance to be well physically by next Wed and it just all became clear that surgery was the best option for me. The fact that they got me in so quickly meant yesterday was such a whirlwind and by the time I had time to think about it, I was in the gown and the consultant was speaking to me to say I'd be going down in about half an hour.

I've had very slight cramping today, took painkillers but could have managed without TBH and the bleeding is so light already it's hardly even marking the pads.

It's weird because yesterday morning I still felt pregnant but an empty kind of pregnant but as soon as I came around from the anesthetic last night I didn't feel it anymore. the biggest feeling was relief as bizarre as it sounds, just like a weight had been lifted.

You will do what is best for you and go with what feels right but if you're worried about the procedure at all, my exerience was, it really was nothing to get worked up about.

Good luck hun, keep us updated and hopefuly see you over in TTC soon. xx

i had exactly the same thing, went for my 3 month scan & knew right away by the look on the nurses face that something was wrong. she gave me an internal too then went for a second opinion, i had to come back the next morning as they cudnt decide if there was a heart beat or not.well there wasnt, my baby had died at 7weeks i opted for the tablets rather than the surgery. physically i coped well but metally im still struggling everyday....every minute really & that was back in sept! but you'll find strength in the support you get from your hubby & from the girls on here. we'll all help eachother through it

Dear smileyshazza,
Im so sorry for your loss. I wish there was something we could all say that would change it, or make you feel better. It is such a hard thing to go through. I lost my 12 week babes only 2 days ago, and Im crying all the time still, and thinking about him and "what could have been". Like you, my baby had died weeks before, we think perhaps 3 1/2 weeks ago. I was lucky though that my miscarriage occured naturally I and didnt have to go for a D&C or other type of operation (so far) to clear things up. I hope you get to make the decision that is right for you, don't let the Drs push you into something that doesn't feel right for you.
I'm thinking of you, and just trying to send you good karma and vibes, as that's all we can do.
Our time will come one day sweetie,

xoxo
Pea

Last night I had a little pink discharge and so started worrying that it could be the beginnings of my body taking the natural route which I really don't want it to do but it seems to have stopped again so I'm now wondering if it may be related to the internal scan. I think the senior nurse may be ringing me today to hopefully give me a date for the erpc so I suppose I should mention it really?

I am so up and down emotionally. I keep bursting into tears and I'm meant to be going into work today. I rang my boss yesterday after the scan and explained what had happened and he said to not go back to work yesterday but I think he will be expecting me today and I really don't know if I can do it. I am bursting into tears every ten minutes

I feel like I'm losing it as my OH deals with things like this differently to me, I know he is upset but he isn't as good at showing his feelings whereas I have no problem crying and find it eases my pain. I just feel like I'm always crying, he is trying his best bless him and giving me lots of cuddles but I hate being such a blubbering mess.

One minute I manage to pull myself together a bit and think about the positives (the fact we actually got pg means at least we know we can, at least we can try again, other people have it much worse, at least it happened early etc) and decide that I'm not going to let this beat me then the next I am in floods of tears. It doesn't help knowing that it is still there I don't think - as blunt as it sounds I just want it out now I wish I didn't have to wait till next week

Aw hun did you go in afterwards? Are you sure they won't let you take a few days off on compassionate leave? Its important you get the time to grieve without stressing about work too. The time off really helped me, I was off uni for a week and though I dreaded going back I had got a lot of the crying out of my system which helped. I'm still tearful now and again but I'm able to control it when I'm out and about xxx thinking of you

Hi Curiosity

I rang in the end and said I couldn't go in yesterday I realised that when I got up as I spent the whole time I would spend getting ready crying and I just couldn't bring myself to do it. They were great and said not to be silly they wern't expecting me in.

This morning I rang and asked if I could take the rest of the week off, they said to take as much time as I need. I have my erpc booked in for Tuesday and we have to go to hospital tomorrow to complete some forms so I'm going to ask if they will give me a sicknote and how long it will be so I can keep my work updated.

I have to say that work unusually have been great, they are usually such a**holes the rest of the time but I suppose its because of the circumstances involved.

im so sorry for your loss, sweetie. big hugs coming your way <3