Hi. As some of you know, I'm one of those women who chose to wait it out and "let nature take its course" with a missed miscarriage. I waited four weeks before I saw a single drop of blood. If I hadn't taken a pregnancy test, I would have just thought that my period was being irregular.

Instead, I spent four weeks anxiously hoping to resolve this on my own, getting frustrated with myself for not being able to resolve it, with my husband for getting me pregnant in the first place, with my doctors for not telling me ALL of the possible outcomes of a MMC. So I passed the sac on Tuesday, and was so relieved, almost elated, that I had gotten through this without difficulty.

I went in on Thursday for a scan so they could cancel the D&C (ERPC) that was scheduled for Friday. The technician said just the lining is left to pass. The doctor was in a different office that morning, so the nurse emailed him the films. She called me at work to say he sees irregular tissue and wants you to go in tomorrow for the surgery. I was dumbfounded. Can you have him call me?

Just a few minutes later, the doctor called and said yeah, there's vascular tissue, it's not coming out on it's own, you better come in. I said I only passed the sac 48 hours ago! He said, "It doesn't say on your chart you passed the sac." (WTF? You're the first doctor I've spoken with!) I still have cramps, I'm still bleeding! He said, "To you, the fact that your bleeding means it's going to pass, to me it means it hasn't yet, and if it doesn't all come out at once, it usually isn't going to." Can I wait and have another u/s next week? He would rather I didn't, "but ultimately the decision is up to you."

This conversation went on for a while, and he seemed rushed, exasperated with me, and finally we agreed that I'd have the scan this coming Tuesday. I was so distraught, and angry, after I talked to him, I called the nurse back a few hours later and asked to talk to a doctor I was more comfortable with. Unfortunately, I didn't hear from her until the following evening, after 30-odd hours of fuming and crying and pacing. Even during our phone conversation I was sobbing, and she wasn't sure she'd helped, but I felt much better just feeling like someone had listened to my concerns and answered all my questions.

So here I am, having given it as much time as the doctors deem safe. I know I haven't passed the lining, so fine, they were right after all. But you never know, right? I understand they wanted the quick and easy, (theoretically) uncomplicated route. I don't know why I have been so stubborn about this, what I was trying to prove by seeing it through. But I now am finally at peace about the D&C, not just resigned to it but ready for it. And I've learned from bevan and others on here that I shouldn't expect the D&C is necessarily the end of this miserable road. The women on here have helped prepare me for contingencies I never imagines, in a way that no conversation with a doctor ever could.

I guess I just want to say thank you to this community, I'm glad I'm found you (though of course I'm sorry we had to meet under such circumstances!).

Roseanne i will be thinking of you, i will update you with a post tomorrow as to the out come of what i hope will be my last scan!

Hopefully for both of us we will finally get some closuer this week!

Roseanne not sure if you remember my reply to your thread. I waited 3 weeks and hoped for a natural loss. Nothing much happened and so I had my ERPC on friday. I think the storied on here made me realise that natural may not be the bst route if it leads to complications with retained tissue. I have learned so much from the posts on this board. You did what was best for you. xx

Thanks, I did remember that you had a similar story. I am a little freaked out about the procedure being more risky because I waited, and I definitely wasn't informed about that by any of the doctors I talked to (until four weeks had already passed) -- I only saw people on here talking about it, but I guess I didn't quite make the causal connection (it's riskier because I waited). The doctors still aren't telling me how big the risks are -- I guess because they don't really know. Everything will probably be fine, I sure hope so. And I hope everything is returning to normal for you, sk100.

Hey roseanne

When you say surgery being more risky because you waited, what do you mean?

At 11 weeks when I had my 2nd scan, the doc said that I could still wait another 2 weeks for a natural loss ie if natural loss had not happened by 13 weeks, then that means baby died 8-9 weeks ago. I spoke to 2 different consultants to get their thoughts on the wait and they said risk of infection was low and easy to treat. I don't know. I do think you learn more from the experinces on these boards than the docs.

I am really glad it is over though. My uterus felt tender for 3 days but is fine now and hardly any bleeding.

Hope it all goes well. xx

Hi Roseanne, sorry that you are going through this. I had a similar experience, chose to have the "natural" miscarriage, and antibiotics for a suspected infection, but then ended up with an ERPC as not all the tissue was out. I too was worried about the ERPC, but for me it was fine, and actually helped to draw a line under the physical experience. There are a lot of scare stories about the procedure, and of course there can be problems with anything, but at the end of the day sometimes it is necessary and, sadly, there isn't much you can do about it other than just get through it.

Best wishes.

sk100:

I have talked to three doctors at the same practice and they all had slightly different stories. The first gave me the 3 options, and said if you wait, "It might be tomorrow and it might be in a month." No mention of any problem with the "in a month" scenario.

The second said 5 weeks was the maximum they like to let you wait, because after that, there is a remote but horrific risk of disseminated intravascular coagulation ("DIC"), wherein your clotting factors get screwed up and you form tiny clots throughout your body, then "bleed from everywhere." He doesn't mention other risks and discounts the risk of infection. After I passed the sac last week, he told the same story.

The 3rd doctor said, as to the "bleed from everywhere" scenario, don't worry, you're not there. It's more likely (though still unlikely) that you would have massive uterine hemorrhaging if you continue to wait. She also said two things that seemed contradictory, but I didn't ask for clarification: she said that now that the pregnancy tissue (in the lining, since the sac has gone) has been there all this time, it becomes necrotic. But she also said it can keep regenerating until it's been thoroughly removed. Maybe these were two possible, different outcomes, I don't know. And finally she said (only because I asked specifically, after what I've read on line) that yes, when you wait, the D&C becomes harder to perform, there is more risk of infection and more risk of a need for follow up surgery; the tissue is broken up so it doesn't all just come out in one piece.

Smiler -- did you get the antibiotics before or because of the ERPC? I was thinking about seeing whether they would give me a course of them just to be on the safe side after the procedure, since Thursday is Thanksgiving here and the hospital will probably be on a bare-bones staff all weekend.

Iam no medical expert, but what i would say is after medical management failed to remove everything i went for 8 weeks without knowing i still had a large amoung of tissue left in my uterus.

It cause me discomfort on and off sometimes mild sometimes severe and bleeding on and of light to heavy e.t.c

But as for infection it caused my a suspected UTI 3 weeks in between medical and ERPC.

In addtion to the 8 weeks inbetween i was likley carrying around and trying to expel my dead baby for up to 4 weeks prior to the scan that confirmend it and medical managed attempt to treat it.

Just trying to say yes there are ricks i.e infection leading to septic e.t.c but these are rare.

Ive noticed too diffo drs seem to have diffo opinons on matters concerning miscarrge and the way to treat and complications that may arise from it.

I may have said it before - that senior doctor most have had some horrible experience with a patient with DIC and he wants to avoid it ever happening again if at all possible.

I know the risks for me are still low at this point, but it's hard to do anything other than worry!

I did go to 2 yoga classes this weekend