About a month ago, I found out I was pregnant.. It was unplanned, but after the initial shock, I was happy, and excited at the prospect of being a mum... I felt love for the baby...

Then on thursday night (about 9pm), I had brown spotting, I feared the worse.. My BF called NHS Direct, when they got back to me, they told me to go into A&E... I got there, they did blood tests and took a urine sample, they said everything was fine, and just go home and rest, but booked me in for a scan for saturday..

Anyway Friday I spent in bed, and I had nothing all day, no spotting, no pain... Until about 9pm again, I had thick brown discharge, and by midnight it was red, I had a bit of cramping.. And I knew what was happening...

Saturday morning, red bleeding, some painful cramps but far between, I went for the scan... And they confirmed it, the G-Sac was right by the cervix, ready to go...

I'm sorry to admit this, but I never realised how bad, the experience of a miscarriage is, and it's true, no one can even slightly understand until they've been through the same..

The pain was unreal, and between 11pm and 4am it was almost constant, I was groaning and often shouting because of the pain.. Painkillers did not help, hot water bottle, just gave me something to hold really.. The blood and the clots hit me with the reality of what was happening...

I'm sort of numb now I guess, I'm exhausted, I start to cry, but feel to drained to carry on...

I think my BF is kind of lost in the situation, I'm just so glad that's he was there with me...

Reading everyones posts, have offered me a bit of comfort, I guess, it's that I'm not as alone as I felt...

i'm sorry for what your going through. it really is shocking to see just how many of us are on these boards, and to find out how many people around us have gone through this.

It does give you a shock! like me youve had 2 an unplanned preg that you obviously got over quickly and started to get excited then the shock of loosing the dreams and baby!!!

It does drain you and it does exhaust you and you are right no one will ever truely understand unless they themselves go through it.

Your OH will be lost i know its hard but try not to shut him out remember hes gona be confused too, part of him will hate the fact that you went through so much pain and part of him will mourn the loss and dreams too.

It was also a huge shock when I went through it. I never expected it to happen to me - you always hear about it but never think you will have to experience it too. I know that sounds selfish, but that was my reality. Sending loads of hugs your way. Just remember we're here for you when you need to chat and feel to PM me if you need a friend.

That's exactly true... I knew it happens, I just never thought it'd be me it would happen to...

Thank you, I appreciate it... It's so hard to deal with.. I've hidden myself away for a bit.. And am so glad of a place where I can talk to people who know...

hi anie firstly sorry to hear about your sad loss, i lost my little bean 2 weeks ago at 6weeks preg and its so true what jolene says you read and hear about it but you dont think it would happen to you, and when it does omg it feels like your world has been blown apart, but remember your partner is going through it to so dont shut him out you need each other to go through it with and to come out the other side all the way!!! -x-

Thank you all again... I feel somewhat comforted to know that I'm not alone, and there's people willing to talk to me who understand...

My OH took the day off work today... We talked, and cuddled, and he even got me to smile...

I'm still devastated, I'm still hiding away, I'm still bursting into tears... And it's going to take a while for me to feel I can get back on with everything, but I think I know today, that at some point, I will feel better, not completely, nor will I get over it or forget about my angel... But I'll be able to look to the future again and enjoy myself...

We're going to get away for a few days...

Dear Anie, Im so sorry for your loss. I know exactly what you mean - I never knew it would be that bad either. I guess people just dont talk about that part. Like you, I had terrible pain and excessive bleeding, it was really scary.
You'll always remember your angel, and know that we are all thinking of you and wishing you the best for when your time comes again.

xoxo
Pea

I am sorry for your loss. I also had no idea the difficulty of a miscarriage, even though I'd known family members who'd had them, it's just one of those things I guess you sometimes need to experience for yourself. I wish you and your bf the best during this difficult time and in the future.

The bleeding seems to be duller today... More brown, than red.. So I'm hoping this is finishing, I just want to be able to rest... Though it always seems to be worse at night, so I guess we'll see...

I'm not looking forward to Monday, I'm having a scan to make sure everything's gone, I guess that'll be the real end, I don't know how I'll cope with that.. Because to be honest, I'm not really coping now, I haven't seen anyone except my OH since last Thursday, I refuse to go for a walk or anything, in fear of seeing people I know and having to talk to them... The only place I've been is late night trips to Tesco...

It has been, and will continue to be the hardest and most painful thing I have ever gone through... I'm glad that I can come hear and just read and realise I'm not alone in how I feel or what happened to me...