I agree with what others have said, I never knew how bad a miscarriage could be, no one I know has every lost a baby so when it happened to me it was such a complete shock.

And I can get over the emptiness, from having something growing inside me to nothing.

Vicky x

Went for the scan today, assuming everything had passed...

But it turns out that's not the case... "the pregnancy is still there", apparently it had not grown enough to say it was ok... But with the nights of screaming in pain, the huge amount of bloods and the clots, I just don't understand, how it hasn't left, if it was so near to the cervix... The bleeding has really lightened, and I'm not really getting pains anymore..

So I got handed the leaflets and asked to decide what my next choice was... There was no quiet room for us to sit in, so we were left in an office with the door half opened as nurses giggled through the corridors...

I've now got to decided whether to keep going the natural route, or go medical or surgical, it's all such a shock, I don't know what to do..

I feel like I'm back at last saturday, waiting to lose my baby all over again...

Hey hun,
I am so sorry for your loss. I recently posted my experience of a medical miscarriage and I know others have posted about there experiences. They might be a few pages back but It might help to read through them all? If you have any questions about it, please feel free to PM me. You are so right, a miscarriage is heartbreaking. I hate that I have lost my baby, but also, I feel like the beautifu future which those two lines promised is over. All gone and I hate it and I miss being pregnant so much.

Thinking of you

Really sorry for you loss.
I know how had it is ive had 3 mc now so painfull and heartbreakin. big big hugs xx

so sorry for your loss hunni

Thank you for directing me to your post... Although by no means pleasant, it has given me some idea of what to expect and ask for with medical management, so I have 'been brave' and booked that... I go for the first appointment tomorrow morning and then the second on Friday....

I think I just had to bite the bullet, after thinking it was over, and it not being, I know if I carry on waiting, I will be hoping for a miracle, and I need to accept that it's just not going to happen...

I feel the same, I was always thinking and still do, about what future myself and my OH were going to have with that child, imagining all sorts... And it guts me when I then have the thought that it's not going to happen now... Something I haven't quite managed to explain to OH yet...

So today was the second stage of the medical management...

We got there, had to waited for an hour and a half, they inserted them at 11.15, and then lay back for an hour and left..

So it's now 5 and nothing.. Well mild cramps and a bit of blobby blood...

I just want it to be done now, I can't begin to recover until this has finished...

I had a mmc without much pain so I was lucky in that sense but I agree with you, it was always my worst nightmare and emotionally I have never felt so awful and never sure how I m going to feel from one minute to the next it's awful and I wish that none of us were going through this.

Firstly Thank you everyone who has kept me that little bit more sane throughout this horrible time by listening to chipping in

I sort of went off for a while, after having the medical miscarriage, I was frustrated that nothing was really happening, and just getting more and more upset by the moment.

Anyway on the Sunday OH took me away to Barcelona for a few days, it was lovely, we , both us, desperately needed to get away from here, everything and everyone, and have a bit of time for us, for us to begin to accept what the other's feeling, to talk, to concentrate on just us for a few days. So of course alone with the lovely views and food, there was some much needed talking, crying, even arguing.

But throughout the trip, still nothing really shifted. Until our last day, that is, we'd just been for a lovely meal and a walk around the christmas market, we then went into Cathedral, lit (it was a money operated machine one) a candle for my OH's dad who passed away a couple of years ago and another for our little angel, though I just put a coin I'd been holding for a few mins in, and it lit up 5. So we stood and looked at our candles, and had a few quiet tears. I started to panic, as my phone froze up and I couldn't get a picture (I'm sorry if anyone feels it was disrespectful), it sounds silly, to take a photo of lights, but eventually it worked, and i got a little photo of my lights. I often look at those little lights, and think about my angel.

Anyway, not long after we left the cathedral, I went to the loo and heavy red blood had come. I actually felt relieved... It sounds silly, but maybe I had to let go a little to make way for the pregnancy to leave my body.
Anyway went back to the hospital today and angel and sac have gone, just a little blood left.

I have my antibiotics and have to return after Christmas, but I think I can start to heal now.

Hi Anie

So sorry to hear about your loss. I found out yesterday that I'm about to experience my second miscarriage in a row. I'm 44 so kind of expected it was going to be tough. I am emotionally strong enough to handle it and will try again as soon as I can.

However, I'm a bit worried about how painful this one is going to be. I was 6w1d when I lost my last and that was bad enough. This time I am exactly one week further along. I'm sitting at work now, feeling the cramps but they're not bad enough to go home just yet.

I'm crying a little on the inside but know that I will bounce back and try again.

For all those ladies out there who are suffering miscarriages, my thoughts are with you. Hopefully you have family and friends around you to support you. If not, try and be strong and remember you can try again. Don't give up. The only thing some of us have to cling to is hope.

x