notamommy

Miscarried last November at 16 weeks and now have just miscarried again at 16 weeks. First baby was a girl and now I've lost my boy. How do I possibly try again but then I'm not sure how to go on without the hope of being a mom someday. feeling in shock still and when reality hits I feel so pathetic cuz i can't stop crying. Lucky to have a supportive husband and we have a great life together but i dont want to bring him down anymore than he already is. Actually i feel like i bring everyone down even though i put on a tough front they know how sad i really am. Just lost my baby Thursday and haven't been able to even tell everyone yet. last christmas i felt like the elephant in the room and here i am again the women who cant have children. thanks for letting me use this thread to get out some of my patheticness

roseanne

I'm so sorry. My first loss was at 14 weeks, the second much earlier, which for me made a big difference, but I know I was a wreck for a week, and then for months periodically broke down crying at the smallest things, or at nothing but my memories.

I hope you are able to see a perinatologist (maternal-fetal specialist) who can help pinpoint what may be causing these loses. There sometimes is something that can done (in my case it was preterm rupture of membranes, and he made a few recommendations; now that I have had a second loss, I will look into hormonal and clotting issues).

You need time, and if there is a big Thanksgiving gathering, be clear to your husband and family about who you want to be around (or if you want to skip the whole thing). I know that I had difficulty with being around little kids for a while. It is ok to just leave the room and cry. They will understand and if they don't, who cares, it's your life. Take care of yourself and your husband.

bevan88

sk100

I feel so so sad for you reading this post. I just miscarried but my baby stopped growing at 5-6 weeks. I didn't really think of it as a proper little human being. I doubt his/her heart beat and it was too early to tell the sex. However, 16 weeks is really something else.

I lost my little girl shortly after her birth at term in April. I understand how you are feeling. It isn't something that will just go away. I haven't stopped crying since yesterday as it has hit me in a big way what has happened to me in the past 7 months. I am even telling myself to get used to the idea that I may not have another child.

The fact that both losses happened at 16 weeks suggets it wasn't just 'one of those things.' Maybe you and your hubby should consider genetic testsing. Also, see if you can have clotting and immune issues investigated.

I wish could say something comforting to help you.

My heart goes out to you in a big way.

Hoolie

So sorry.

I have no advice only that with time, you'll make the right decision for you.

Alex

lauren709

your not pathetic, dont ever think down about yourself, mc is something unfortunately none of us can control but it's still the most heart wrenching thing a human could ever endure, your brave and strong for going through what you have been through and God will bless you with a child eventually, believe hun, it will happen for you

babyell

Hi I am so sorry for your loss, I know nothing anyone cans ay is a comfort. People keep telling me it happened for a reason. But I cant find that reason. He was healthy and all the scans showed this. He got the cord around his neck. one of those things, people say, it couldnt be helped, and I kinow they are right, there was nothing that culd have been done. I so want to try again. Not to replace Harry, but to give us some hope and happiness back. After what happened with Harry, I never thought it would happen to me, and I have realised that there is nothing you can do to prevent things. With regards to another pregnancy, if it is ment to be it will happen, it may take time, but eventually you will get there. There are lots of women on the support furums, who have lost their babies at different stages of pregnancy, but have gone on to have happy and healthy babies. It is a sickener it happening, firstly because you lose you child, and hopes an dreams, but also being put back to stage 1, waiting to try again, and the worry of will i ever get pregnant, and will my baby survive. you need to recover and find the strength to try again, I am at the stage now where i miss harry with all my heart, but nothing I can do will ever bring him back. We need to look to the future. And for us that is trying again as soon as we can. Good luck with your future and lots of x