Hi all

A really good friend of mine is very sadly going through a miscarriage at the moment. She was about 8 weeks PG. She started bleeding and bad cramps towards the end of last week and has been in and out of hospital.

She was wondering about a few things though:

1. How long is she likely to bleed for?
2. Her HCG levels are still going up. They'd increased 50% yesterday on her blood test last week though the docs were hoping they'd doubled. If she's lost the baby why are they going up?
3. The docs have said there is a possibility that it's an ectopic PG, yet she's had scans and blood tests and it's all a bit inconclusive really. They say they can see a sac in her womb but there doesn't appear to be a baby in there. If the sac is in her womb, how can they be thinking it's ectopic?
4. How long is it likely to take until she has a normal period afterwards?

And this for me... what's the nicest thing anyone did for you after you had a miscarriage? I feel at a loss to know what to say or do (we don't live near each other so it's not possible for me to pop round and give her a hug) but I want her to know how much I've been thinking of her. Any suggestions?

Thank you

Helen

xx

Don't really know any of the answers to your questions but I think the best thing you can do is be there for her, talk to her on the phone if she needs it, maybe send round some flowers or something?

Levels should double every other day-ish in early pregnancy... they would remain almost level with an ectopic, and drop with a miscarriage.
It's really common to bleed in pregnancy.... also, if the pregnancy isn't as far along as originally thought, then you may just see a sac really early on, as the scan wouldn't be able to yet pick up the heartbeat......
I hope everything works out ok....

Hi,
so sorry to hear bout your friend!! In answer to you questions:

levels will only start dropping once then placenta comes off the uterine wall... that's when she has offically lost the pregnancy and usually happens during the worst of the cramping/bleeding (or when a d&c has been done,but diff scenario to your friend)

Bleeding will continue on a very individual basis and some people bleed for a few days, however bleeding is know to continuenfor up to 4-six weeks, but this is mainly spotting towards the end. Most people find themselves bleeding about 2 weeks.
The same goes for the next period to come along... its all very individual and its a waiting game, im afraid.. some are lucky and they're pd's come back right away..some take several weeks..up to 4 2 six weeks is not unusal... ( I was told to expect my next pd within 3-4 weeks, and its only been a week and a half for me, itsd ifficult to tell, im afraid..whenever your body regulates to normal, i guess is the answer...).

As far as the sac is concerned i dont have any presonal experiance with this, but i know that sometimes docs dont have all the answers until they do more tests..they try to be cautious..and i hope your friend finds out they're wrong. having said that my OH's cousin had and ectopic pg and went on to have a very healthy pg not soon after.. so its not all doom and gloom. Fingers crossed for her,though..


If you cannot visit you friend ( like i had a friend after my mc do when she had recently mc as well, with w\wine, blue cheese, chocolates, some trashy mags and flowers..lol)

Best thing i would say is just call and listen...she's bound to feel all kinds of emotions, some rational and some not..main thing is to give her a shoulder to cry on (if she needs that) and let her vent.. there's not much anyone can say that'll make it feel better-as you know- bt being a good listnener and being a good friend goes a long way.. i would say, that anything she feels is normal, though and that she will feel better with time. But to give herself lots of time as well.. it is a rollarcoaster of emotions.. take as much time of work as she can and relax...and if she aks about conceiving again_ most women who mc go on to have healthy pg's after and women are usually very fertile after a mc.. listen to your doc and go from there....otherwise there's always b&B... you sound like a good friend.... all my best to your friend and hope this helps , if any..

How about sending her some beautiful flowers?

When I had my m/c my friends sent me cards and brought me flowers. It really meant alot to me to know that they were there for me.

I don't know the answer to all your questions but when I had my m/c I bled for 10 days and AF returned 5 weeks later. Every person is different though.My friends and family were very supportive and I found that just having people I love around me helped me get through it. Just let your friend know you are there if she needs to talk.

The best thing you can do, it's to stay with her, if she wants to talk, be with her, make sure she aceppts what happened, I know it's hard but she has to move on, or she would have a really hard time recovering emotionally.
She needs to feel safe and be able of having her life back to normal. Make sure she knows and understand that is not her fault.