Me again, sorry to keep posting. You girls are such a source of support for me, thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you do.
When we very first lost Edan, the idea of ever being pregnant again freaked me out. The pain, and the horror of MMC is something I never ever want to experience again so the logical thing to do would be to avoid pregnancy. However, even though it's been a week my mind is starting to change. My tummy feels so empty and goes in at the bottom again now, I feel so lost and lonely and it's pushing me to want to ttc.
However, I am a little overweight, and I am scared about not giving myself the time to heal. I also feel guilty about the idea I would be replacing babe. Three people now I have spoken too miscarried and then got pregnant two months later having healthy babies.
What are you thinking? Despite my desperate desire to be pregnant again, I feel like I should wait, heal and lose weight. I am scared my weight (I am probably two stone overweight) cost me Edan. My OH wants to TTC again asap, but I just don't know. I was terrified enough being pregnant this time, I will be terrified every second if it happens again.
Really, I am annoyingly rambling again. But I guess I am asking what will you do/have you done?
I had 2 miscarrages before I had my son and yes I was terrified at every scan when I was pregnant with him incase the same thing happened, and yes it is worrying but that is totally normal after you have experianced a loss! And I got pregnant with him straight after I had my second miscarrage, did not even have a period in between! I am overweight and I am sure you will be fine hun, it more common than you think! if its what you want and it sounds like it is! then go for it hun! try your best to push your anxieties to the back of your head, I know its hard but why worry about something that might not happen x
Aww hunnie 2 stone overweight wouldnt of cost you Edan ...You have to try when you are ready and to me you dont sound quite ready yet ...how about ntnp for a few months just havin fun with hubby healing in the process x
I would wait a few months. Give yourself time to heal. Maybe lose a few pounds ( not that I think being a little overweight caused the miscarriage). As someone who has had recurrent miscarriages, I say never give up! I have had 13 pregnancies, from which I have 4 children. I got quite bloodyminded and was determined to have a baby! I guess my expectation was always low when I got a bfp, sadly. Good luck and take care
Hey sweetie, stop beating yourself up about how you could have caused the mmc. Most of the time there's a chromosomal defect that is not a result of anything you may or may not have done
As far as ttc is concerned, after my mmc I told my gynae I will never put myself through this again and I wasn't interested in ttc ever again. Well it's not even two weeks later and all I want is to be pregnant again. I don't think of it as replacing my little Morgan, I see it as our family having so much love to give and a sibling for my son and the fact that I'm not getting any younger and want to still have time left in life to enjoy with my kids. The only thing is I know that I will be highly stressed at the thought of going for an u/s and not seeing a heartbeat again and that will probably be throughout the whole pregnancy. It's a difficult time but you and your OH will figure out what's right for you.
All the best-you are so much on my mind lately. Jolene
ill tell you and be 100% honest babe u no i will... as much as the desire says try again just give it a little while because even tho you may feel like youv healed and your body has your heart and your emotions havent. you need to be fully fit and fighting.
Thanks so much girls. I really appreciate all the time you take to reply to my posts - especially when I know most of you are hurting as you have been through the same. Jolene, it is the thought of the u/s that scares me the most. When she said 'bad news I'm afraid, the baby has no heartbeat' I felt like I had been punched in the chest. It took the wind out of me and I haven't even begun to get that back. I still have nightmares about being in that room and hearing those words. To do it again I honestly think would kill me.
Wow, think my own rambling just answered my question didn't it?!
It sounds as though ur DH had the same attitude as mine, he was talking about about trying again before I had finished the MC bleeding,
I to have talked with friends who have gone through MMC and with that I decided that I would like to continue TTC sooner rather than later as it would just get harder, although from finishing a week or so after finishing bleeding through to my first AF I felt really out of sorts, and my head certainly wouldn't have been in the right place if I had caught, but then there would had always been the 'what if' if we had used anything barrier... u just have to go with how u feel at the time...
Good luck and lots of
None of us ever forget those words hun and scans - just the idea of them make me sick! But I am getting to the point where my desire to have another baby is stronger than my fear (tell me that when I'm going for those early scans!!??). It's taken me a few months ( I had 2 MMCs since feb) but I'm nearly there and you'll know when you're ready too! Being pg with my DD were the happiest 9 months of my life and I'm determined not to let the fear overtake my next pg. There's no hurry - a few extra weeks or months of waiting and regaining your strength won't hurt in the big scheme of things
Jolene
