Thank you so much for all of your support

I had my D&C today, and just wanted to let you all know I'm ok and share my experience.
I'm heartbroken, but in between the flashes of anger and bouts of tears, I realize that I really have much to be thankful for. My precious baby died around 10 weeks, and had my body naturally miscarried, I never would have had the chance to see him or have any pictures. The ultrasound pictures mean so much to me and my OH. Once we got the terrible news, we were given back some control over a situation that was totally out of our hands. Because we chose the D&C, we were able to give ourselves one more night as a family. My husband and I spent last night crying and holding one another. We had a chance to rub my belly and tell Speck how loved he is. My husband read him stories and we told him about all the things we wished we could do with him. The night was beautiful but so emotionally draining that I don't think I could have done it if we still had to wait around for some undetermined period of time. I'm so glad that we shared the news with our families around 9 weeks because my baby deserves to be missed by his grandparents who were so excited to meet him. They cried with us and were so supportive and wonderful. We shared our ultrasound photos with them because I felt so sad thinking that I couldn't brag about the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen. At the hospital, my husband and I held each other and cried until it was time for my surgery. I was in tears as they set me up in the OR, but everyone was so lovely to me and really acknowledged the pain by telling me that every baby is special and stays in our hearts forever. I went to sleep with my hand over Speck. When I woke up, I shed more tears when I realized that my baby was really gone, but once I got back to the room with my husband, I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders. After so many weeks of anxiety and 24 hours in limbo, I could finally identify what I was feeling and grieve properly. I was only asleep for about 30 minutes and was up walking about 30 minutes after that. I had very minimal cramping and bleeding. I feel very grateful that I didn't have to experience passing everything naturally and wondering if each clot was my beloved baby.
My husband and I spent the rest of day together, sometimes crying and sometimes looking toward the future with a lot more hope than we felt this morning. My 27th birthday is tomorrow, and he gave me my gift early, which is an emerald necklace (would have been our baby's birthstone). I'm sure he never imagined that his gift would be associated with so much pain, but it means so much to me to have this memory of our baby.
The last 3 months have been some of the happiest and most exciting months of my life. It has a tragic ending, but I'll never forget the joy I felt when we found out we were pregnant or the closeness I've felt with my baby ever since.
Thanks again for your genuine compassion and kind replies to my first post. You girls are amazing
