Hi,
Just found out my baby has died at 13 weeks after going for a routine scan with my consultant. It's only a year ago since my daughter Jasmine was stillborn at 32weeks. We found out when we went for a scan after Jasmine had stopped moving that she had died. There was no known cause for her death.
I haven't started bleeding yet and opted for a tablet to start the process off. I would have gone for the D&C option but I developed 2 dvt's at the same time as losing Jasmine (unrelated apparently) and thier is a risk of me getting them again if i got for the proceedure. I just don't want to risk it.
I am now at home waiting to go into hospital tommorow and i just don't know what to do. The waiting is unbearable. I'm just so confused. I don't know what to expect from tomorrow I just can't work out what i'm doing wrong or why this keeps happening.
Sorry to go on, I just feel so alone. It really helped last time to write it down and i'm hoping it will this time too. It's one of those situations that you only really get if you've been there. Just need a little support and a glimer of hope right now. Thanks for reading.

Sorry for your loses, i cant imagine how hard it would be to loose a baby so far on my heart goes out to you.

As far as the tablet option your going down, best bit of advice i can give is take pain meds if you want and need them it varies from women to women and the pregnancy stage as to the level of pain.

Expect that you may bleed alot in the run up to passing the sac e.t.c

Please dont beat yourself up about the loses its nothing your doing wrong you are just like the rest of us on here falling the wrong side of the statistics! Its crap it sucks but we are strong!

I know its horrible but please dont feel alone we are all here for you, rant away with the rest of us!

so very sorry. It's so unfair.

If you read Drazics thread abut her medically managed miscarriage, that may help you with what to expect. I had an ERPC so can't advise.

Drazics account is a very honest one and bravely told to help others.

I don't think you'd have done anything wrong. I went through the process of analysing everything I'd done and even checked with a midwife over things I'd done but was told that it wouldn't have been this or it wouldn't have been that.

I think it's hard for us to accept that not everything is under our control but that is the case with some things, and pregnancy is definatley one of them.

Alex

Im so so sorry, i cant imagine what your going through.I found out the same way, at a routine scan and its just like being hit with a ton of bricks.I had a d&c so sorry i cant be of help but drazic has a very honest account on here that would help hopefully.Thinking of you, we're all here anytime you need us

I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. Having lost your little girl so at 32 weeks and now this, must be totally heartbreaking.

I'm so sorry. You're a very brave lady. I also had some contraindications for the d&c but was given the option of that or natural (no medical management in my local hospital), but they said they'd strongly advise me to go for the natural which I felt more comfortable with anyway, so I decided to opt for the natural but its only likely to go ahead spontaneously if the baby was below 10 weeks gestation anyway. You've done nothing wrong and I hope you get some type of answers or an opportunity to get answers as to why this has happened in the future.

Soph x

I'm so very sorry for your loss I was in that same terrible waiting stage last night, and I don't know if there's much you can do to ease the pain. It really helped me to use that time to say goodbye to my baby and just cry with my husband. Distractions only made me angry because I felt that I was going to have an unlimited amount of time to distract myself later, but would only have my baby with me for a short time. I can't imagine what you must be feeling having lost Jasmine and now this baby as well. As someone who has no idea how long this pain is going to last, all I can suggest is that you and your OH take care of one another and let yourselves feel whatever you need to feel. Please PM me if you want to chat. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and wishing you all the best.

dear minniesmum, I'm so sorry. It's the hardest thing to go through and I feel for you. I took the first tablet on Wednesday and was in hospital on Friday for the second treatment. I was very worried about the whole thing but as strange as it sounds it wasn't as horrific as I expected and whilst I had some cramping on Friday it wasn't much more than bad period pains. I went home Friday night not having passed anything and the pain and bleeding happened yesterday at home, but it was manageable. Everyone is different and will have a different experience but I'm just glad for it to be over now and to start the healing process. I wish you good luck with the treatment and for the future.

Hi All,

Thank you so much for all your support - it means a lot. I'm back home now and apart from being emotionally and physycally drained it went as well as it could. Hope your all doing ok please feel free to pm me if you think it will help you - we're all in the same boat and if i can help anybody i will do my best to do so.

Thanks once again....