Drazic<3

..like it's all on top of me today and I can't cope. I am just in a state. My whole world is falling apart. All my friends and family are avoiding me and even my husband has done nothing but shout at me today, saying I need to get out of bed and get on with life. He has booked himself in for extra shifts so he is working days and nights to get away from the house. I have never felt so alone in my whole life.

I am still bleeding so much, and in pain. Everyone just expects it to be over, thinks I'm being pathetic. I held my baby in my hands, his perfect little body and in a few days I'm supposed to be bouncing along? All happy? I just can't cope. I want to go back in time or I just want to curl into a ball and never wake up. I hate everyone, I am just hurting so much.

I'm sorry for this self-obsessive emo bullshit, I just feel so desperatly alone and I want my baby back

Tracie87

Dont feel alone because youl never be alone.. men deal with grief very different my OH was the same. I felt so alone to the point of wanting to jump off the cliff.
Familys dont no how to deal with it because they have no clue at all and there scared theyl say something and upset you.

just let out all your hurt and anger dont build it up because it will destroy you. im always here babe. iv done it 5 times babe all you have to do is shout

xx

Hoolie

I had very similar feelings when I lost my baby.

What I found was that people who hadn't been through it, just didn't understand. The only people who did understand was other women who'd lost a baby. Here was brilliant and was my crutch.

Please don't feel alone. There are many on here who know the intense grief and black emotions that follow a m/c.

Alex

coccyx

Oh dear, sorry for your loss. I have had 9 miscarriages and know it can be alonely time. My hubby never really knew what to say or do, and to be honest I wanted time to myself. Can be hard physically and emotionally, but it does get easier. You need to grieve, quite normal. Sending you lots of hugs.

bevan88

Your not alone i have had my moments especially early on after the medical managed, i found the whole still bleeding thing distressing i was adimant i was doing nothing normal until every last piece of blood had gone only then would i be ready to try and move forward!!!

My OH was very supportive but he too longed for me to be myself again, i deffo think they deal with it differantly, they dont want to upset u more than you already are they try and keep busy!

As for family well they will be grieving too they had dreams surrounding the little life you were carrying too and they will be fearfull of upsetting you.

Sometimes people just dont know what to say or how to be around you.

Dont blame them dont hate them the anger feeling isnt good for anyone.

Just stay true to yourself and keep telling yourself you know in the pit of your stomach that you will be able to recover from this (not get over) .

My motto is not that time is a great healer but in fact the time element just allows you to learn how to function and deal with the pain in a way that allows you to "GET ON WITH IT" and yeah is easier said than done but the scales will eventually tip in your favour.

Sorry iam rambling at you now, i just desperatley want you to know that you will find a light and your happiness again. And just by doing so doesnt and wont mean that you have forgot or belittled the life of your baby!

Drazic<3

Thank you all. I don't really hate anyone, I am just hurting. I don't want to be alone, laying here bleeding and in pain whilst everyone else goes on, whilst everything is normal. I just want to hide away. I feel so very empty and broken and I don't want my baby to be cold in the mud, I want him to still be with me.

My husband just doesn't understand. He has always been selfish anyway, so it's not a particular shock he is putting himself first now and leaving me here alone. I think all my anger is focused on him now, it wasn't, and I didn't want it to be but he is just being such an arse. I just want the world to stop for a little bit, let me get stronger and rest before getting back to normal.

This truly sucks.

katy

I can't give any advice, but I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you xxxx

sk100

Oh sweetheart, I know how you are feeling. Loss is a very cruel thing because we have to deal with the physical and emotional side of things simultaneously and it is very testing. It is perfectly normal what you are feeling and from my experience, the sad and horrid feelings will come in waves but will lessen over time. Your OH can't possible understand the physical side of things but maybe this is his way of reacting to what has happened. Also, he probably just wants you back.

You aren't alone. xxx

Las78

Oh hun, I'm so so sorry you are feeling like this, I totally understand where you are coming from, even though you will have lots of support on here, it is so very hard when you don't get it from those close to you, I can understand you lonliness.

I also felt like people just expected me to get over it, I was open about my grief for a couple of days then just hid it away because I soon realised no-one understood what it was like. In turn, months on I'm still trying to deal with it all. My OH now talks about it quite a lot and I can't speak to him about it, I've blocked it all - was so much easier. I really hope you don't become like that hun cause it's no way to deal with it. You just take your time, deal with it the way you need to, don't feel pressured to get over it, it's not something you can ever truly get over.

Thinking of you, if you ever need to talk or just someone to listen, please PM me x

Drazic<3

Thank you.

Just had a screaming row with the OH. Must be nice to be able to go out, have a drink, switch off and pretend I'm not here and Edan never existed. Oh well, another night alone. Guess we weren't as strong as we thought? I can't deal with him avoiding me, he can't pretend this never happened. I have never needed him so much as he is too busy caring for himself. I won't lie, I'm hurting.

Ugh, sorry. Ignore me. I always do try and be positive and support people, but I just don't have the strength right now. Gosh, I wish I could have a drink! It wouldn't help but I still want one!