How can I still be crying floods of tears 4 months on ??? I have barley been able to speak this afternoon as I think my voice would crumble. For the first few months I cried then I felt better-albeit sad put some of it down to hormones but this last week has been bad. I went Salisbury cathedral yesterday and lit a candle for my baby and my friend bought me a crystal angel. When I left to go home and said goodbye to her. I was in floods of tears. It took me till this morning to tell h about the candle and he said that we would have to go to my mums grave ( where we like to think that our beans spirit is) and to say happy Christmas. Ive been in bits since

I have no words to express how I feel

how long does this last ???

So sorry hun - hope you find some strength soon. Your angel may come back to you, but in another body? That's what keeps me going

I'm sorry sweetheart. Right now, I don't feel I will ever stop but things will get better. You need more time - there is no limit on grieving but you will continue to get stronger -x-

Im sorry hun.
5 months on and i still have bad days, not as much, but still get them.
It does not matter how long it has been you will never forget your angel and what you went through. Grieve all you want and cry all you want, soon it will get easier and much later even more easier, Its just a matter time rele.

xxxx

I wish i could be of more help but its not been as long for me, your grief doesnt have a time limit and everyones differant.Do whatever you need to to get though the day and take it one day at a time, the candle and the angel sound lovely you rant or cry all you want you'll know yourself when the time comes and you feel a little better, thinking of you

Mrs Doddy

I had my 3rd mc the same time as you had your loss 4 months ago - and I still get bad days when I just cry.......I don't think we can put a time limit on it xxx

Mrs Doddy, I know exactly how you feel. I think my grief will not ease until I am pregnant again and carrying safely. it doesn't mean that the new pregnancy will replace the other, I will never forget, but it will mean that I am really moving on.

I find that people struggle to understand that I am still hurting. I guess it is because I don't talk much about it and most of the time appear cheerful and happy. I don't like to bring it up because I am worried that people's answers will undermine my feelings and make me feel worse. I did open up to my mum the other day though and she said what summarises how I feel perfectly: each time AF shows, I grieve once again the baby that isn't there and the pain intensifies.

I'm on cycle 5 since m/c and I am pretty certain that I am out again already. AF is due two days before my birthday. Turning 39 is already a reminder that age is not on my side, I could do without AF making a statement too!

Oh well, nothing more than can be done, just have to accept and bare the low times.
Many to you, really really hope you have less and less moments of sadeness.

I'm not so far past my mc as you hon, but I am definitely still having dreadful days. When I was talking to my aunty about it, she said that for 6 months after she miscarried she wore sunglasses, because she couldn't cope with 'looking out' at everyone else going about their normal business, and if they could see her eyes it just made her cry.

I think the key to understanding it, is that what we are going through is grief - not mini-grief, or pseudo-grief or quasi-grief - but real, proper grief-grief. Just because the babies we lost were small, doesn't mean that the grief we feel at losing them is any smaller. I did not feel more grief at losing my big dad than I did losing my little brother, because my feelings for him were not based on his size. In the same way, my feelings for my baby are not based on how big he was, but on that he was. So the fact that he was tiny is not a factor in how I feel about him dying.

I think people who haven't gone through the loss that we have, might have a hard time understanding the 'person-ness' of the babies we have lost, but we do, which is why I think we grieve as we do.

And thinking about other times I have grieved, I was flaky after losing my dad and my brother for a good year .... it did all get more manageable with time, but it never actually goes away. So I guess I am expecting something similar - to feel raw about my loss for that kinda time period, before things start to heal for me.

No idea if my ramblings are helpful at all - so here's a hug for you as well

Thanks girls, I am feeling a little better today not so tearful- but sadness not helped by a txt from a frieng who had a baby in June to say she is pregnant again!

Just got to find a positive way of dealing with this somehow and throwing myself into ttc doesn't help like I thought it would it just reminds
me all the time