All yesterday I didnt feel baby Harry move, and went to A&E this morning who sent me to the maternity ward, the doctor confirmed what we feared and Harry had gone. There was nothing obvious on the scan, he just looked asleep but his little heart wasnt beating. I have to go in tomorrow to be induced and dont know what to do. Should we see him, hold him or just remember him as he was on the 3d scan? What do we do with him, do we have a funeral? dont know what to do, the hospital says it's our choice but it's hard cecisions to make. What have you ladies who have lost babies later on done? it all feels like a bad dream, I keep expecting to go in tomottow and he will be fine, but I know that is not the case. Any advice would be great, thanks xx

so very sorry to read this.

I've seen a number of babies lost as I worked on a maternity ward for a while. There, the midwives tried to encourage parents to have time with their baby as they believed it helps with the greiving process.

And having witnessed this precious time, first hand, I'd agree with them. Those hours are so precious to parents.

There were occasions when parents opted not to and this was often when they felt that they'd rather remember baby as a bump. In these instances, the midwives would take a photo, handprints and foot prints and put them in the mums notes, just in case the parents wanted them later. This might be a regional thing though, so if you decide you'd like it, make sure you ask/check they do that.

So very sorry again.

Alex

ive no advise as wot to do as when i mmc i never got this far alng (thank god.....no one shud ever have to go thro this) theres lots of angle mammys and im sure they wil give u the advice y need, im so so sry for u x

I am so sorry hun

Maybe this thread could give you some ideas
http://www.babyandbump.com/stillbirt...mies-help.html

Im so sorry to hear your sad news sweetheart. Sorry for the loss of your little boy. I too lost my little boy at 36.4 weeks. I wasnt sure what to do and felt the same. But hubby and i both decided to see our little boy,Bodhi. We held him,looked at every little part of him and we took loads of pictures. I think you have to decide what is best for you sweetie,and see how you feel at the time. Im so sorry. Thinking of you!

so so sorry for your loss, i lost a baby at 19 weeks and i was unsure what to do, in the end i did what felt right at the time, i held her and it really helped me and my partner grieve. so sorry again

Im so sorry for your loss sweetheart

I agree with Hoolie about spending time with your baby as I found this really helpful when I lost my little girl

I know everything is scary and you dont know what to do for the best but remember that whatever you choose to do will be the right decision for YOU hun

you have to do what you feel able to cope with so take your time to think about things

I will say this.... take LOTS of photos of your baby & capture little details like his hands and feet etc... (or get someone else to do it) and my biggest regret is not getting a photo of me holding my baby

There should be a bereivement midwife who will spend time with you and explain what your options are so you dont have to make any decisions on your own she will talk to you about funeral arrangements & be there to answer any questions you should have but you wont be expected to make any decisions straight away

Once again id like to offer my condolances at this truly awful time hun I will be thinking of you tomorrow and hope the day passes as gently as possible for you xx

I'm so so sorry you have to go through this.

I just pm'd you with my experience. The thread I was talking about in my message is the one that KACI has just sent you a link to.

You have to do what you are comfortable with, but my regret is not having looked and remembered at all the little details of my little boy and not holding him longer.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow.

hun i have no advice, just wanted to say i am so so sorry for your loss. whatever you decide will be right for you, maybe just wait and see how you feel at the time ?

again im so so sorry, i cant imagine what you are going through right now

I don't know what to suggest sweetheart, other than follow your heart. Will be thinking of you tomorrow and I am deeply sorry for your loss.