Hello, im new here and its with a very saddened heart im having to join here Me and my hubby have been trying for a baby for nearly 2 years. Last November we had a suspected miscarriage though apart from passing a huge clot and pains they couldnt be 100%. However they treated it as one Well on Sunday 1st Novemeber we celebrated our BFP and we were so over the moon but sadly it was not to be again I started having a little bleed on Tuesday and some niggling pains but tried not to worry too much. We went out with some friends and we had a lovely night but on the Wednesday morning about 430am i woke to horrendous pains and very bad bleeding. It was so bad, it soaked through my pjs and the bed and i went to the toilet and passed huge clots. It was in that moment i knew we had lost our baby. My hubby took me to the hospital and they said it was more likely to be a MC but we went to the epau for a scan and it was there that it was confirmed. At just 5 weeks we had lost our much longed for baby. My emotions are all over the place. I just cant believe this has happened to us all. We are in shock still. I work with children and they asked me to prove i was fit to return to work as i wanted to go back the thursday after it happened but they said i had to go to the docs. I did and he said to take the rest of the week and asked me when i wanted to go back so i said Monday but now im regretting it. Im not ready to return. Im an emotional wreck still and i dont know how i will get through work. But they are expecting me. What can i do? I hate my workplace anyway and they have been so unsupportive and even asked me to prove i had had a miscarriage.
Anyway im sorry for everyone losses and im sorry for ranting Im just all over the place and so emotional and still in shock that this has happened to us after this time
Thanks for reading this and thanks in advance for any support xxx

Aww hunny, I 'm so sorry. I know how you are feeling. Thankfully though I don't have to go back to work where people are insensitive and unsympathetic. Right now you need people around to love and support you through this difficult time Can you not phone the doctor and ask him to extend your certificate?

I hope you can recover quickly both emotionally and physically.

Thank you hun. I could phone docs but it means i will have to explain it all to work and its almost what they want and i dont know if i can through that but i dont know if i can return. My hubby thinks i need to go back so im not on my own but im not ready im really not. Even a few more days would do me i think. Im sorry for your loss too hun, loads of love xxx

Im so sorry for your loss. I know what you mean about your problems in work, I had a similar thing.
I only took 2 actual days off work, but when I came back they were refusing to pay me sick pay because I refused to tell my line manager what had happened.
Eventually I had to tel the ops manager but made it VERY clear that I was extremely unhappy that my privacy had not been respected, and that at this awful time they had made my life so much more stressful.
keep fighting to have the time off that YOU feel that you need, and in some strange way, it gave me something else to focus on, and I believe helped me through this awful time.
thinking of you.x

Thank you sweetie and im sorry of your loss and your experience at work. They knew i was pregnant and they know i have had a miscarriage but they are just being so unsymapthetic. It is upsetting me more I just dont know what to do about heading back as im meant to be in at 9am and im not ready but what if they are annoyed with me? Gosh this is too hard to deal with after Wednesday xxx

Hi hun

I am so sorry to hear what has happened; its similar to my story. I had a suspected miscarriage 10 years ago; I did strongly suspect it was a miscarriage at the time but my ex-h was not supportive so I just put it to the back of my mind; but now I've had another one; I know nearly 100% for sure thats what it must've been. Inbetween my husband and I had three healthy boys but I have ongoing hormonal problems; which is not PCOS and they are not sure what, basically my body never got out of puberty mode lol. This time my husband and I were TTC for nearly two years; like yourself and we were so shocked and thrilled that two days after going to see a private fertility specialist who said as we have kids already even they are limited in what they can do to help, we found out that I was expecting; but sadly it wasn't to be. I had a missed miscarriage at nearly 16 weeks but the baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks. I am so sorry to hear about your unsympathetic workplace; it makes me so furious; and I think you should stand your ground. One of my relatives recently had a premature daughter who died 40 hours after birth; all his workplace could offer him was a lousy 2 days off immediately afterwards, he just didn't show up to work for a week and threatened to go to the union if they took issue with it (though it depends where you're located as to if its an option or not).

Sophie

Thanks Sophster. Your support means alot to me. Its hard coz i work with children as well I know for a fact what i had last year was a MC especially now i have been through it again. I just dont know what to do for the best when it comes to work xxx

Your health mental physical and emoional are worth more than any employer! A jobs just a job so they can wait and get of your back!!!

Ive been off 8 weeks now due to complcations and my employer isnt the most supportive.

Go back when your ready otherwise you will only hurt yourself in the long run.

You need to feel semi normal again first hormones emotions e.t.c

Be true and kind to yourself!

You have to look after you before work!

Im so sorry for your loss sweetheart. If you are not ready please don't go back, even if you go sick for something else. You need to give yourself time to grieve, please

So sorry for your loss hun & sorry about this added stress this really isnt what you need at this awful time im lucky in that my boss is really supportive she knew about both pregnancys and both miscarriages & has told me to take the time to grieve. I miscarried last week i have stopped bleeding now but i dont plan on going back to work just yet as im not ready emotionally. You need to take the time to get ur head straight hun & work will have to just deal with that. Sending lots of hugs Lov Caz x x x