Hi, I'm new to the forum, just been looking for some support from women who know what this feels like.

This morning, me and OH went to the clinic for a first scan at the unplanned pregnancy unit. The doctor spent ages looking at my womb, and then gave us the news we had a missed miscarriage. We have to go back on the 17th November for another scan to make sure she hadn't missed anything in my womb. She said it was tricky to see as my womb is an odd shape, so we have to wait until then before they use surgical intervention to remove the little empty bag in me.

I feel so guilty as the pregnancy was unplanned, and I am ashamed to say that we were thinking about ending the pregnancy anyway. So I should feel relieved that the decision is now taken out of my hands but I just feel this enormous sense of loss. I was coming round over the last two weeks to the idea of being a Mum and I hope you don't think I am horrible for having considered a termination in the first place but we had never wanted children and this pregnancy was a shock to us both.

I feel now a mixture of emotions, like guilt for not wanting to be pregnant, the delight in how my body was changing to accommodate a baby, the thought of how our lives would have changed, and now sadness in that I still feel pregnant (sore boobs, sickness, tiredness) but there's nothing but an empty sac.

I hope you all don't hate me for not wanting my baby in the first place, but now its not there I really feel sad. I think I wouldn't have had the termination anyway as I was starting to feel a lot of love for the little thing inside me. I called it Zippy - don't know why. I spent a lot of time last night awake before the scan thinking that there was no way I could 'zap my zippy' and now there's nothing in there to zap. I just wish the little sac would go now and my hormones settle down so I can get on with life.

I hope that everything passes before the 17th. I also wonder if the doctor is wrong and there's something there. I'd do anything to keep it alive and well if Zippy is hiding from her in my odd shaped womb.

Sorry to ramble, just so confused right now.

Sorry even more to all those ladies out there who are desperately wanting a baby and have had a missed miscarriage. My heart goes out to you. I still feel sad though about losing my unplanned pregnancy, it feels horrible.

Lots of love to you all who feel sad right now.

i lost my bean last weekend and i am devastated. and it doesn't matter if it was planned like mine or not like yours its still a big shock and a very emotional time. i hope you are?well as ok as you can be and don't feel guilty as its a very hormonal time and you are bound to go through all scenarios in your head, if you need to talk just message me anytime xxx

firstly, i'm so sorry about your loss. i've had 2 miscarriages myself and the pain will never go away but it will get easier.
Its natural for you to feel a sense of loss, even if your first thought was a termination, as you say you were coming round to the idea, so its only natural that your going to feel devestated.
you need to know that none of this is your fault. i went through a long time of blaming myself, but unfortunately, these things just happen, and there is nothing we can do no matter how much we wish things could be different.
i hope your doing ok, and that you've got some support around you at this time.
dont ever feel guilty about needing a cry or to have a ramble about your feelings, even in a few months time, we'll always be here to listen xx

I am so sorry for your loss.

It doesn't matter how your pregnancy came about, you have still suffered an awful loss and no one in their right mind would hate you for that. I'm really sorry you've had to have this horrible experience. I discovered my own missed miscarriage today and it was a real shock.

It's really horrible having now to wait for our bodies to do their thing and expel what was a pregnancy.

Duplicate post.

My first pregnancy was essentially unplanned. Doesn't take away from the sense of loss. I don't think anyone would put you down for considering abortion. Don't worry about judgement here. So sorry for your loss.

Sorry to hear you've suffered this loss - we all feel guilty whatever the situation, but it was never your fault so you shouldn't.

oh I know exactly how you are feeling. Well I think so anyways. I just posted a thread about my miscarriage in april, it was an unplanned pregnancy and we considered termination too. I wont repeat it all here, but I know its corny, time is a great healer.

Can I ask, how far should you be gone? Did she do an internal scan? I take it your womb is retrograded, meaning it tilts back and to a side a bit, making it hard to see? I have a womb just like that and I am trying to figure out if there is any chance at all that she i wrong, but if you dont want to answer, I do understand. Big hugs to you xxx