Hi all
I am having panic attacks and really needed to share.
I gave birth to my baby on the 24th October and buried him on the 31st October next to the baby I lost in 2004. I also had an mc in 2003 although that was earlier.
I cannot imagine going through this again. It had been a hard pregnancy, it is my third consecutive mc and at 38 I have a 1 in 4 chance of an mc with any pregnancy.
So I am blocking my heart to the idea of trying again and I am focusing on looking after the three beautiful and wonderful children I have been gifted with.
The panic attacks come though when I think of something happening to them.
I know it is because I am at a low point-i lost a lot of blood after the mc which has meant I have severe anaemia and feel terrible physically, but I just needed to share. I have to be strong for those around me. The kids dids not know I was pregnant (I hid it well thankfully) but they struggle to see mum ill.
Thanks for reading.

Oh hun my heart goes out to you. You are so brave i can only imagine the heartbrake of what you went through last month. I am miscarrying at the minute and have found the support on this site off the fantastic ladies to really help vent my frustrations. You need to see your gp about your panic attacks, a friend of mine suffers with them and she takes something to calm her nerves when she feels them coming on. As for worrying about your children your bound to feel that way feeling negative and like something bad might happen are just normal emotions that hopefully will fade in time. My thoughts are with you hun & were always here x x sending hugs lov Caz x x

Aww sweetie, that's so sad No one should ever have to go through that. I hope that you get the help you need. I have no other words but will pray for your recovery.

I don't really have any words, but I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone and everything you're going through is normal. I hope that you can find comfort soon and maybe you can get something to lessen the panic attacks in the meantime? I was having panic attacks but they have subsided recently, hopefully for good. With time you will heal.

HUGS!! xx

Honey, I can totally relate to how you feel. I lost my baby and 17w and from the minute it all ended I remember thinking I can't bear to lose another child, I became overly protective of my 2 girls and suffered with severe anxiety for a good few weeks afterwards, even now just the thought of anything happening to my girls makes me want to be sick. I think how you feel is completely natural hun and I hope over time you find a way to deal with it rather than letting it rule you which can so easily happen. If you ever need to chat please pm me. Hugs x

Thanks everyone.

It helped to write it. Somehow once it was said in black in white, I could start sorting it out in my mind.

I am focusing on my three healthy children at the moment to get me over the loss of the baby; that maybe is not altogether healthy if the focus is too intense...

I am sure I will find a balance in time, but will not put myself under too much pressure.

After I lost the baby in 2004-I threw myself into work. The grief kept leaking out though and I realised I had to sort things out. It took me five years before I tried again and then it happened all over again.

I suppose it will take time to sort it all out... It's just with this one, I think I was just in shock for a while; but I am trying to sort out the grief - get my head round it...

This forum helps. I don't feel guilty here. In the real world I always have to be the strong one. It's just who I am. Here I don't have to be strong.

Thanks and take care one and all. I know a lot of you are going through your own grief right now, and I am grateful to you for taking the time out to write.

xxx