Terrified to TTC- anyone else?

sancarlos27 · Nov 2nd, 2009, 00:34 AM

So the last time I was on here, I had just suffered a MMC and had declared that I was not ever going to try to get pregnant again. A few of you told me to give it some time and wait and see before making such a rash decision, and I'm beginning to think you were right.

I don't know if it's because everyone around me is pregnant right now, or that all I can envision is my husband holding a little baby. I feel selfish even wanting to put him through that again- he is an amazing stepdad to my son already and is scared to death of us losing another baby so I'm not sure what to do. He says that if I want to try again, he's gladly on board, but I'm not sure. I know that if we do get pregnant, every single waking moment of the pregnancy will be filled with worry and anxiety that the baby might have passed and I won't know it (just like this time)...

Sorry to vent, but any thoughts would be appreciated

sophster · Nov 2nd, 2009, 02:04 AM

Hi

I am in the exact same position in many ways, although I have three boys with my husband so its not quite the same, and his personal position on this is; ' it's up to you'. He would love another baby but at the same time doesn't want me to have to ever go through what happened, again for both of our emotional well-being. We're still talking about it (mmc was 5 weeks,coming up to 6 weeks ago now) and at the moment we are NTNP (not trying, not preventing). I have a slight hormonal imbalance of some type (as PCOS has been ruled out, still awaiting AF to return so I can get the cd3 blood tests to try and determine what if possible) and I think the stress of actively TTC was making it worse and compounding my irregular cycles and hard to pinpoint ovulation; so thats another reason we decided to lay off that. I wish you the best of luck whatever you decide!

Sophie x

Mrs Doddy · Nov 2nd, 2009, 03:38 AM

Definately, I want it sooo badly yet the thought of going through a m/c again makes me want to run away from the whole ttc journey, the risk is no greater and may not happen again but I would have a proper breakdown if it happened again, but we have to try to be positive (although I don't feel it) and try again otherwise we will never have our babies

Emmielou28 · Nov 2nd, 2009, 05:33 AM

I feel exactly the same way. I had a MMC at the beginning of September and we are now in a position to start thinking about TTC again after waiting for one cycle. I am petrified of the same thing happening again. I had no idea that anything was wrong last time and was so excited to be going for my 12 week scan. Nothing could have prepared me for those words which came from the Sonographers mouth. I am so scared that something will happen again but I really want to be a mummy. I don't have any children and that was my first pregnancy. I now feel like the whole pregnancy thing has been ruined for me as I feel I will never enjoy one second of a future pregnancy. I will be worrying the whole 40 weeks that something will go wrong.

Good luck with whatever you decide. x

sk100 · Nov 2nd, 2009, 09:51 AM

I feel too defeated to even think about TTC again. My baby daughter died in April after only living for 22 hours. We tried to TTC again and I got my BFP 9 weeks ago. I am going through MMC right now. Will be taking 6 months off from of this. I really need to heal. I want to be able to enjoy my next preg instaed of being scared every day that it will come to an end.

Good luck. xxx

~KristaLee~ · Nov 2nd, 2009, 10:09 AM

I feel the same way too. I just had a miscarriage and I'm absolutely petrified to get pregnant again. I really want to have a family but very apprehensive about even having sex anymore. I'm sure with time I'll change my mind but it's still a hard decision to make. Don't worry, you're not alone.

beachlover1 · Nov 2nd, 2009, 13:14 PM

Im terrified! I had a MMC in August followed by a chemical in October...im hoping for 3rd time lucky but so scared to get the dreaded 3rd MC. I have already started having tests. We have to have PMA xx

shocker · Nov 2nd, 2009, 13:16 PM

I recently spoke to my sister about this, she lost her son at 4 days old and told me that after a short burst of wanting another more than anything she became too scared.She was young and ended up waiting for 10 years before ttc again, she spent the entire 40 weeks terrified and didnt tell a soul until she was 16 weeks.Shes since had another two children and she was still very aprehensive.Its normal to be scared, i have no plans to ttc for a few years and even still the idea of facing it again still terrifies me yet a part also wants it more than anything.Its perfectly ok to be scared, sending you loads of

somedaymama · Nov 2nd, 2009, 15:29 PM

It took awhile after my m/c before I had the nerve to try again. We are trying again now, but I am secretly terrified to get pregnant because I don't know if I can go through the pain of m/c again. You're perfectly normal, I hope your husband is a good support for you.

LeaArr · Nov 2nd, 2009, 16:53 PM

I know what you mean. I have had two losses both around 9 weeks. I know I won't ever be settled with a pregnancy. I am at the point that I don't want to try anymore, but at the same time, I don't feel that my husband and I would want to simply give up and be a family of two. As you have heard before, just give it time.

Nov 2nd, 2009, 00:34 AM	#1
sancarlos27 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: California Posts: 76	Terrified to TTC- anyone else? So the last time I was on here, I had just suffered a MMC and had declared that I was not ever going to try to get pregnant again. A few of you told me to give it some time and wait and see before making such a rash decision, and I'm beginning to think you were right. I don't know if it's because everyone around me is pregnant right now, or that all I can envision is my husband holding a little baby. I feel selfish even wanting to put him through that again- he is an amazing stepdad to my son already and is scared to death of us losing another baby so I'm not sure what to do. He says that if I want to try again, he's gladly on board, but I'm not sure. I know that if we do get pregnant, every single waking moment of the pregnancy will be filled with worry and anxiety that the baby might have passed and I won't know it (just like this time)... Sorry to vent, but any thoughts would be appreciated

Status: Offline

Nov 2nd, 2009, 02:04 AM	#2
sophster On a break (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 391	Hi I am in the exact same position in many ways, although I have three boys with my husband so its not quite the same, and his personal position on this is; ' it's up to you'. He would love another baby but at the same time doesn't want me to have to ever go through what happened, again for both of our emotional well-being. We're still talking about it (mmc was 5 weeks,coming up to 6 weeks ago now) and at the moment we are NTNP (not trying, not preventing). I have a slight hormonal imbalance of some type (as PCOS has been ruled out, still awaiting AF to return so I can get the cd3 blood tests to try and determine what if possible) and I think the stress of actively TTC was making it worse and compounding my irregular cycles and hard to pinpoint ovulation; so thats another reason we decided to lay off that. I wish you the best of luck whatever you decide! Sophie x

Status: Offline

Nov 2nd, 2009, 03:38 AM	#3
Mrs Doddy Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Uk Posts: 10,038	Definately, I want it sooo badly yet the thought of going through a m/c again makes me want to run away from the whole ttc journey, the risk is no greater and may not happen again but I would have a proper breakdown if it happened again, but we have to try to be positive (although I don't feel it) and try again otherwise we will never have our babies

Status: Online

Nov 2nd, 2009, 05:33 AM	#4
Emmielou28 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 353	I feel exactly the same way. I had a MMC at the beginning of September and we are now in a position to start thinking about TTC again after waiting for one cycle. I am petrified of the same thing happening again. I had no idea that anything was wrong last time and was so excited to be going for my 12 week scan. Nothing could have prepared me for those words which came from the Sonographers mouth. I am so scared that something will happen again but I really want to be a mummy. I don't have any children and that was my first pregnancy. I now feel like the whole pregnancy thing has been ruined for me as I feel I will never enjoy one second of a future pregnancy. I will be worrying the whole 40 weeks that something will go wrong. Good luck with whatever you decide. x

Status: Offline

Nov 2nd, 2009, 09:51 AM	#5
sk100 Other Active BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Manchester Posts: 536	I feel too defeated to even think about TTC again. My baby daughter died in April after only living for 22 hours. We tried to TTC again and I got my BFP 9 weeks ago. I am going through MMC right now. Will be taking 6 months off from of this. I really need to heal. I want to be able to enjoy my next preg instaed of being scared every day that it will come to an end. Good luck. xxx

Status: Offline

Nov 2nd, 2009, 10:09 AM	#6
~KristaLee~ On a break (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Connecticut Posts: 26	I feel the same way too. I just had a miscarriage and I'm absolutely petrified to get pregnant again. I really want to have a family but very apprehensive about even having sex anymore. I'm sure with time I'll change my mind but it's still a hard decision to make. Don't worry, you're not alone.

Status: Offline

Nov 2nd, 2009, 13:14 PM	#7
beachlover1 Trying to conceive (TTC) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 1,462	Im terrified! I had a MMC in August followed by a chemical in October...im hoping for 3rd time lucky but so scared to get the dreaded 3rd MC. I have already started having tests. We have to have PMA xx

Status: Offline

Nov 2nd, 2009, 13:16 PM	#8
shocker Waiting To Try (WTT) BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: London Posts: 3,590	I recently spoke to my sister about this, she lost her son at 4 days old and told me that after a short burst of wanting another more than anything she became too scared.She was young and ended up waiting for 10 years before ttc again, she spent the entire 40 weeks terrified and didnt tell a soul until she was 16 weeks.Shes since had another two children and she was still very aprehensive.Its normal to be scared, i have no plans to ttc for a few years and even still the idea of facing it again still terrifies me yet a part also wants it more than anything.Its perfectly ok to be scared, sending you loads of

Status: Offline

Nov 2nd, 2009, 15:29 PM	#9
somedaymama Trying to conceive (TTC) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Illinois Posts: 2,465	It took awhile after my m/c before I had the nerve to try again. We are trying again now, but I am secretly terrified to get pregnant because I don't know if I can go through the pain of m/c again. You're perfectly normal, I hope your husband is a good support for you.

Status: Offline

Nov 2nd, 2009, 16:53 PM	#10
LeaArr Other BnB Addict Join Date: May 2008 Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada Posts: 8,669	I know what you mean. I have had two losses both around 9 weeks. I know I won't ever be settled with a pregnancy. I am at the point that I don't want to try anymore, but at the same time, I don't feel that my husband and I would want to simply give up and be a family of two. As you have heard before, just give it time.

Status: Offline

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