Im so sorry to be whinging i really am and dont reply if you dont want.Basically my boyfriend left me when i told him i was keeping our baby, i differed college this year and planned my future.I found out at the 14 week scan that my baby had no heartbeat.I still dont understand it all.I just cant stop thinking about having another baby, i never wanted kids but this whole experiance has changed my life and i dont know how i could ever live not having the future i planned.I dont want anything else, i cant bare the wait of finding someone new and probablly having my heart broken all over again.I cant adopt as you have to be married/widowed to adopt here and the idea of sperm donation has me confused as i'd like to at least see the father of my baby but im also disgusted by the idea of ever sleeping with anyone again.My heart is just aching for all that ive lost and i need to feel like im working towards my goal or im just going to crack up.Ive talked to my therapist about this and she told me to get a cat which im allergic to, not to mind the fact it was a stupid idea.I just dont know what to do next, what can i do? im so confused

I didn't want to read and run. i'm sorry for your loss, its perfectly understandable to feel the way your feeling

Hi

I went through very similar with my first miscarriage all those years ago. At the time I wasn't 100% sure it was a miscarriage and my ex said it couldn't possibly be; but now I know it was; and the way emotionally I was feeling after it; I so wanted a baby and had done since I was very young, it became something of an obsession, I too dropped out of my studies and spent hours in the baby department of Boots and department stores. My ex and I were not in a good relationship and looking back now I am glad that I happened never to get pregnant again in the three years I was with him. I also have a history of depression; and know that you make these goals and plans just to keep going; and when they don't go right, you're like 'then what?'. All I can tell you; as someone older is I am sure you will have kids in the future; but when the time is right, when you're in a sound relationship (and you don't have to rush into one now) you will look back on this time and think 'wow I wish back then I would have known about my future'.

Sophie x

Your desire for children is completely normal. And your disgust at sex at the moment is too, because I'm feeling the same way. I think you need to heal emotionally before you try to have another child though. And it would be best to find someone that you love and have a child that way. You said you're scared of heartbreak, but true love is the best feeling in the world. And it'd be better to have a child with someone you love then a sperm donor you've never met, as you said. Seems weird that adoption is not an option, not sure where you're from though.

I really hope you can find something that works for you soon though.
Sorry to hear about your loss but everything you're going through is normal. HUGS! xx

I too understand how you are feeling. I went to see a therapist in September because it was taking over my life. I would look into finding another therapist who could help you out more than your current one. Personally I felt like I didn't want anything else and nothing else was important to me except for having my little family that I had dreamed of. If you ever want to talk feel free to pm me.

Thank you for your answers everyone, i was starting to think i was losing it as all i can think of is having another pregnancy and i know its not realistic but its driving me mad.Adoption is only allowed in Ireland if your married or widowed and it makes absoloutly NO SENSE.It doesnt seem right that i could love and care for a child with no-one in this world but because ive not been married i cant.I know deep down i have to wait and i need time to heal and find the right person, the idea of having to wait years to feel that joy again is something im just really stuggling with right now.I guess its a matter of getting myself together before i go bringing a child into this world too hastily,i just cant think of anything else.Its like impatient1 said nothing else is important to me anymore and its hard to focus on moving on when i cant think of anything else.Thanks everyone