Its 7 weeks today since my medically induced miscarriage and 8 weeks since my 12 week scan at which I was given the news that there was no longer a heartbeat and my baby had died at 8w6d. I felt like I was coping pretty well but this weekend I have felt so depressed and alone and I keep bursting into tears. Following my miscarriage I bled for just over 4 weeks and I still haven't had a period 7 weeks on. I feel as though I can't even begin to move on from this nightmare. It feels as though if there is a god he has got it in for me. I am so desperate to TTC again.

It doesn't help that one of my best friends is pregnant. She was 3 months ahead of me and I can't even bear to see her anymore. I know that makes me selfish but I find it so hard to see her bump and to see her breezing through pregnancy.

One of my other friends is currently TTC and every month she is unsucessful she texts me saying how unfair life is that she can't get pregnant. She has only been trying for 3 months and I just think "for christ sake, I have lost my baby and here you are moaning to me about your own situation". I said to her "you've only been trying 3 months, it can take time", to which she replied "at least you know you can get pregnant, I don't because I never have been". I feel like punching her in the face when she says comments like that I really do.

I'm sorry this is a long message but I have no one to talk to about things except you girls on here who are going through the same thing.

I am so sorry you lost your lo, i think its the most horrible thing that can happen to anyone i really do.I had a similar situation last week i went for my 14 week scan to be told my baby had passed away, its hard not to be angry at everyone when you think everythings going so well.It sounds to me like your friend thinks that you might understand, she knows you want a baby and so maybe thats why she shares her feelings with you.Your both hurting a lot right now and lashing out at each other and i think thats normal.Perhaps you should explain to her that you do not find her comments helpful right now as you are really struggling and could use positive comments only at this point, yes you can get pregnant but i really personally dont find that a comforting thought either.If you both feel your not able to talk about each others situations to each other then take a break, you dont want your friendship to be ruined by this when your both in such a difficult place emotionally.

I made friends with two girls on here who are due at the same time as i was and who are around the same age and ive had to block them from my news feed on facebook at the moment as i cant bear to see the scan pictures popping up.It doesnt make you selfish it makes you human.Its so incredibly difficult seeing pregnant woman and bumps and babies, its hard not to feel like your heart is breaking.Someday i hope it will get easier but until then i cant put myself through it as its just too difficult.Its not that im not over the moon that everythings ok for them i just hate that i feel such overwhelming jealousy.

When it comes to god i can honestly say ive lost my faith, i never believed in him really never went to church or prayed but i always thought there was someone out there.Now i feel like if there is a god he must hate me to have done this and keep going over my life to see what ive done so wrong that would make me deserve this.But the hard truth is ive done nothing, you've done nothing.No-one has it out for you and theres nothing you could have done, i wish i had an answer but there are no answers to this.Im sorry you are feeling so low and alone, have you tried making a diary? Ive been writing a journal in the wtt section and find it really helps me get out all the anger and hurt.Your not alone in this and your not selfish, dont be so hard on yourself, i know the waiting is really hurting right now but you are strong, you've made it through the last 8 weeks and that is a massive feat.Your on the short side of your wait and i will be hoping you get your bfp soon

Oh sweetheart. I am so sorry it has become difficult for you to talk or be near your friends. You know I am always here for you, anytime.

Find comfort in knowing your body is doing the best it possibly can to prepare you to become pregnant again. It will take time for your body to get back on track and everyone is different. Being patient can be very trying when you are ready to have a baby. You have been through so much in such a short period of time. Just take it day by day and when you do fall pg again, it is when your body is physically, and hopefully emotionally ready.

These past several weeks after m/c have made me realize that I have such limited control over the nature of my body. So I focus on the the things I can do to keep myself healthy; mentally, emotionally, and physically.

If it is bothering you to converse with your girlfriends who are pg and TTC and causing you stress, taking a step back from that relationship. It may be what you need for a bit. It is a protective move that will help you maintain control of your emotions and not feel angry or upset with them. They are your friends for a reason and if they have not been in the place we have all been, they truly do not understand the impact of their words. If they did, they would never say them to you, knowing how much it bothers you.

Watching your friend's belly grow can be tormenting. You had so many shared plans for your babies. She must feel awful for your loss and possibly uncomfortable around you because she does remind you. Recognizing her luck of having a healthy pregnancy and finding happiness for her can be difficult. Have your tried talking to her about your m/c? Because she is pg and knowing you have m/c, it is bound to be on her mind that she too could lose her baby, and she would have great empathy for you.

I struggle with my loss everyday. These past 7 weeks have not filled the hole in my heart, nothing truly ever will. It is how we look at our lives, to our future, and reminisce on the past that helps makes us who we are. When I have trouble doing that on my own I turn to you and everyone here. You are not alone, you have us.

I know how you feel, as I am currently struggling with the same thing - not being able to stand seeing or hearing about other pregnant women - especially some. I'm sorry you are going through the times you are, but I'm sure you know you are not alone and the ladies on here can certainly relate to how you feel.

I've been told it gets easier with time. I just passed 4 weeks and I don't feel like it is easier yet - but I have faith in what I am told. Feel free to write if you need someone to talk to...

Hang in there... Remember to take care of yourself above all else...

Hugs to you, so sorry for your loss,xxx

So sorry for your tragic loss, it's heartbreaking. I don't blame you for feeling the way you do. It seems some people haven't got a clue, people like your friend who think that 3 months ttc with no success means poor her! My sister had her first baby in August and I'm so pleased for her, but it also reminds me how un pregnant I am and atm, no baby in sight for me and that makes me very sad. It's going to take time to heal, but you will. It might not feel like it yet, but it will happen. For the moment though, you must allow yourself time to grieve and know that your angel baby will always be a part of you

Hi

I know exactly what you mean about your 3 month TTC friend because I have had the same; I have three boys which I had in a 3.5 yr time period but around that I have had 6-7 years of infertility and two miscarriages; yet there are so many people I know that say 'oh well at least you know you can get pregnant; at least thats something' One friend; she was trying all kinds of dodgy diet products, which when tested by trading standards were found to contain amphetamines (and I showed her the proof), to try and lose weight in order to conceive, she was losing weight very quickly just through diet and exercise yet not so quickly she'd pile it all on again; but she said it wasn't fast enough when I tried to advise her that nothing is worth it and these products could really damage her health she really turned on me and said I would never know what infertility is like (at that time I'd been trying for nearly two years) and then she tried to accuse me of discussing people behind their back whom we both know, because some other party told her so; yeah right. *sigh* There are a few others I know like that as well; and those who think because I have children I had no right to even be remotely upset about my miscarriage.

I bled for just over 4 weeks as well on and off and though nothing was wrong (it was a small piece of possible retained product causing the bleeding); it was really upsetting and just 'bloody typical' for me that this process just seemed to be never-ending ; I was told you can expect your period back 4-6 weeks after the bleeding has stopped, but still its no fun waiting for things to get back to semi-normal. While you're waiting; and I know its hard; try to occupy yourself with something else; some other interest or if possible take some time out to pamper yourself either at home or splash out on a beauty day. Take some time out for you; so you can get yourself on the road to recovery

Soph x