Miscarriage & Loss Support

nkbapbt · Feb 19th, 2008, 04:25 AM

I hope you all remember what happened to me...if not..I had a missed abortion which resulted in a d&c a couple days later, which after I suffered a lot of complications.

I have been with my BH on and off for ten years now, with a break when I moved away. Other than that, we have always known we would end up together. I love him more than anything in this whole wide world. He is my soulmate, and I have known that since we first met at 17! I recently found out by mistake that he has bought a engagement ring for me, and maybe planning to propose on a vacation we are taking in three days.

And for some reason I am so scared to go. I know I want to marry him, but for some reason Im scared about it happening. And yet I want it too...how does that make sense?!

To top everything off, Im suffering from so much grief that it's affecting nearly everything I do. I haven't eaten a full meal since we lost the baby. I'm having trouble sleeping, I'm moody and I just do not want to do anything. Like even basic things like clean or walk my poor dog.

Also my BH wants to try right away to get pregnant, and I do too. But Im scared about that too!

I feel like Im falling apart and losing my mind.

I have people in my family I can talk too, but I just dont want to do that either. But I wonder if I shouldn't talk to someone!

Edited in:

After posting this..I had a moment of thinking about why I might be scared about my BH proposing..I guess I feel like a burden to him right now. I feel like such a mess.

HELP!

Mynxie · Feb 19th, 2008, 04:53 AM

sweetheart, what you feel about losing the baby, it's probable that your OH feels exactly the same....if not very similar. Maybe focusing in on what he wants is his way of holding things together and proposing now is his way of showing that.

If you're not ready to make the commitment, be honest with him. Or, if you know you want to marry him but just not yet, make it a long engagement.

Thinking of you xx

Samo · Feb 19th, 2008, 05:05 AM

so sorry hun. just wanted to send you some

toot · Feb 19th, 2008, 05:40 AM

So sorry you are going through this... I too had a m/c and like you I could not sleep didn't want to eat didn't clean no wash , when the phone rang I didn't even want to answer it, with time it does get better, as for your boyfried getting you a ring just by reading your post it sounds like you already know your answer, just remember that just casue he didn't go throught the physical stuff that goes along with m/c he is going through the emotional part along with you, i did push my dh away a little after words but he finally opened my eyes by saying that I am not the only one that is hurting,take it day by day and lean on your bf that is why is in your life.

Rumpskin · Feb 19th, 2008, 13:42 PM

Oh darling

You have a wonderful man that appears to worship you as well as support you, he desperately wants a child with you although you both suffered a loss.

You may be a little depressed what with everything that has happened.

Please go to the doctor and get yourself checked out. You may end up feeling so much better in time for your holiday and that proposal.

Sending you a huge hug and good luck xx

Angel~Destiny · Feb 19th, 2008, 17:26 PM

I'm so sorry sweetie, sending you a huge cyber hug

Take care

X

carmen · Feb 19th, 2008, 18:01 PM

Well i know with me having just dealt with a missed miscarriage there is alot of emotions and hormones flying.

But you just said you love him more than the world.

So i would go on your vacation, enjoy it and just remember that you get engaged to be married, not married directly.

So you have time to plan things, give yourself a chance to get back to normal. But try no let hormones do the talking

nkbapbt · Feb 19th, 2008, 18:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mynxie

sweetheart, what you feel about losing the baby, it's probable that your OH feels exactly the same....if not very similar. Maybe focusing in on what he wants is his way of holding things together and proposing now is his way of showing that.

If you're not ready to make the commitment, be honest with him. Or, if you know you want to marry him but just not yet, make it a long engagement.

Thinking of you xx

Its not at all a commitment issue. I love him, I want to be with him for the rest of my life. I just feel like "why would he want to marry me?" right now, because Im so emotional and all over the place. I have wanted to marry this man since we were 17, Ive waited a long time for this. Even through a time he wasnt ready and was being an arse about it! lol.

It just all comes down to what happened, and the time to get over it. I know we can be engaged for a while before getting married, which is good. That gives me time to pull myself together.

But also we both want to be married before we have kids. And yet dont want to wait to start trying!

Oh why is life so confusing sometimes?

I think Im just going to go away, have fun, get a sore liver

, and see what happens. When I get back Im going to go talk to someone with my BH, he already said he would go.

I also know how lucky I am to have such a wonderful BH. And like me he is hurting and healing.

Thanks for all the replies and support!

funkym · Feb 19th, 2008, 20:52 PM

I'm sorry to hear your feeling like this. Your so lucky to have such a wonderful partner. Hope you feel better soon. Sending you big

xxx

nikkybaby · Feb 19th, 2008, 21:05 PM

I just wanted to give you some

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