We went for our 20 week scan on 22nd July 09 and were told the baby's kidney's were very enlarged and were being referred, instead of waiting we paid to go to The fetal medicine centre in harley street and were told by Prof. Nicolaides that our baby boy has a condition that could be genetic with 6 digits on hands and feet and enlarged kidneys that will eventually swell up to 20 times the normal size and the rest of the organs will shut down, so Hayden, could die any day and if he did survive the birth last for a matter of minutes/hours and he said there was nothing that could be done - we had a second and third opinion - so we took the decesion to terminate the pregnancy, we thought why go on another 18 weeks and wait on a day to day basis and what if he was in pain if we did get him here alive!
On 27th July at 21 weeks I was induced and after 10 hours of labour had our baby Hayden, my husband and I both had a cuddle and said our goodbyes and leaving that hospital the next day without my baby was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life!
We had ivf with our 16 month old son, Oliver, we were pregnant with triplets and lost the twins at 10 weeks, I know i'm so lucky to have him as they also said could be a 1 in 4 chance of it happening again so have had 4 babies and 1 fantastic little man to show.
I'm sorry for going on but its only the last 2 weeks I have really been falling apart, i was concentrating so much on my husband and Olly and now things have settled down with them i am falling apart, i wake in the night crying, hoping we made the right decesion as we are still waiting for the post morten results, we also said no to a funeral as i couldn't go through with it and donated his body for medical research hoping it may help someone else one day. I am not the sort of person for councelling or tablets. My due date was 8th dec and have one friend 2 weeks before and one friend 4 weeks after, i'm finding it so hard at the moment - has anyone else had a similar experience, i know how lucky i am to already have a son but i just feel so cheated!
sorry for the essay x

Oh sweetheart im so sorry for your loss. Im an angel mummy too and sadly i know the pain you are going through at the moment. I wish there was something i could do to take your pain away sweetie. But i know nothing i say will lessen the pain you feel. Just know that it does get "easier" as time passes and that you are not alone. If you ever need to just let it out,im only a pm away.Thinking of you and your family. Floaty kisses to your little boy.

Im so sorry for the loss of Hayden, my daughter was stillborn at 40 wks in 2007.

No words i write will make it all better, but as time passes the pain does ease.



V xxxxx

oh l am so sorry l lost my son at 38 weeks too if you need to

talk feel free to PM me ..xxxxx

I'm so sorry for your loss x

So sorry for you loss honey

So sorry, i too am an angel mummy, my little boy died 6 months ago (16 months old) your heartache will ease a tiny bit every day, if you need me i am always here to listen xxx

What a truly heartbreaking decision you have had to make. You have done what is best for your little boy and you now know he is at peace. I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope in time things get easier for you.

I have never had a loss so I know I can never imagine what you are going through but my heart goes out to you and your family!

Rest in peace sweet baby!

xxxxxxx

I am so so so sorry for your loss , sending you big hugs to you and your family

So sorry for your loss x