Didn't know it was possible to cry anymore...

Amos2009 · Aug 2nd, 2009, 17:09 PM

But my husband has made it possible today. He has been working out of town for the past few weeks. (You might remember he could not be with me during my D&C). Well just spoke with him today and he is about to ask me to move to be with him. Now on the surface it doesn't sound so terrible- but...I have a job I love here, a house I love here AND my elderly Mom is here. I just don't know how I could ever make this decision. To add to it- he does not even have a stable job where he is. So why should I give up everything to move there? I truly love my husband and want a baby so badly with him..but how can I leave my Mom (who I am all she has here) and everything else?...Like I already didn't have enough going on in my head lately

JesseLake · Aug 3rd, 2009, 03:19 AM

hey hun

Tell him your not happy to move there due to those reasons. If his job isnt stable its not worth the risk.

Sparklestar · Aug 3rd, 2009, 12:29 PM

Tell him!! If everything happens in the right order then your hubby will be around longer than your mum (sorry for that but thats what i thought when my OH wanted to move to Ireland- we could do that any time, my mum won't be around forever) If everything means that much to you don't go.....just go 'errrmmmm darling I DON'T THINK SO!'

Hunni don't get upset you got far too much other stuff going on atm

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Amos2009 · Aug 3rd, 2009, 14:37 PM

Thanks...I just don't know what to do. What is the likelihood of me getting pregnant only seeing my husband 2 times a month? Not very good...not to mention how can you have a long distance marriage??? I feel so lost

CurlySue · Aug 3rd, 2009, 16:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amos2009

Thanks...I just don't know what to do. What is the likelihood of me getting pregnant only seeing my husband 2 times a month? Not very good...not to mention how can you have a long distance marriage??? I feel so lost

At the same time though there needs to be some stability if you want to get pregnant. How awful would it be to move down there, have no job, your husband to have unstable work, etc. It's not the ideal situation to get pregnant in, really.

You need to sit down and properly talk about it. If he wants you to leave your stability behind he should have a pretty decent argument as to WHY you should. You need to be certain you will be as stable there as you are where you are, especially if you are thinking of trying again. The stress of pregnancy is hard enough, I'd imagine more so after a miscarriage, so to have the added stress of a move, of looking for a job, of settling in another place...that's too much.

Tell him how you feel. It's not something you can decide overnight. At the minute, he shouldn't expect you to.

Amos2009 · Aug 3rd, 2009, 16:28 PM

Thanks CS...that is so true what you said. And I am definitely not going to hurriedly make any decisions one way or the other.
How are you holding up today?

CurlySue · Aug 3rd, 2009, 16:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amos2009

Thanks CS...that is so true what you said. And I am definitely not going to hurriedly make any decisions one way or the other.
How are you holding up today?

He shouldn't expect you to. If your job is stable and his is not, why is it you that has to do the moving? It's hard, but he needs to understand that you have thoughts on the subject too. It's not something just he can decide. It's something you decide as a couple, and not on a whim either. It takes time to reach that kind of decision. It takes careful planning.

I'm alright. Fed up. Nauseous. Sick of waiting, but what can I do? Obviously, my body doesn't want to let go. I used to dread the idea of bleeding but at least nature would be running its course if I did, right?

Ugh.

Amos2009 · Aug 3rd, 2009, 16:35 PM

Are you having to work while you are going through this?

CurlySue · Aug 3rd, 2009, 16:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amos2009

Are you having to work while you are going through this?

No, the hospital thoughtfully told me to get signed off "in case I start to spontaneously abort" - said it would be awfully upsetting.

The irony. Them, talking about upsetting.

I couldn't work, to be honest, since I work for the biggest tosser known to mankind. He's thoughtless. He wouldn't think twice about making me feel like shit. I am finding it very difficult to concentrate. Plus, on off I am getting these cramps and now this sickness. Mentally, I didn't think I could cope with work and since a few other people I have known who have miscarried after long term TTC ended up signed off for three weeks.

By the time I go back I will have been off just over 2 weeks. I'm going in on Monday, D&C on Friday so I think I am being conservative considering how I COULD milk this.

I actually want to go back. I was intending to. Then I had this utter mental breakdown and realised I'm too bloody fragile for it, knowing what is happening.

Amos2009 · Aug 3rd, 2009, 17:09 PM

Well, how sweet of them to tell you to get signed off... (total sarcasm)
You might find that working does take your mind off it, even for a bit. I know coming back to work was rough the first few days, but then I found it gave me a little relief to be able to think and do something else. Now it's when I go home I have a problem since the house is empty.

Aug 2nd, 2009, 17:09 PM	#1
Amos2009 Other BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Alabama US Posts: 3,417	Didn't know it was possible to cry anymore... But my husband has made it possible today. He has been working out of town for the past few weeks. (You might remember he could not be with me during my D&C). Well just spoke with him today and he is about to ask me to move to be with him. Now on the surface it doesn't sound so terrible- but...I have a job I love here, a house I love here AND my elderly Mom is here. I just don't know how I could ever make this decision. To add to it- he does not even have a stable job where he is. So why should I give up everything to move there? I truly love my husband and want a baby so badly with him..but how can I leave my Mom (who I am all she has here) and everything else?...Like I already didn't have enough going on in my head lately

Status: Offline

Aug 3rd, 2009, 03:19 AM	#2
JesseLake Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Wiltshire, UK Posts: 54	hey hun Tell him your not happy to move there due to those reasons. If his job isnt stable its not worth the risk.

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Aug 3rd, 2009, 12:29 PM	#3
Sparklestar Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Kidderminster, West Midlands Posts: 541	Tell him!! If everything happens in the right order then your hubby will be around longer than your mum (sorry for that but thats what i thought when my OH wanted to move to Ireland- we could do that any time, my mum won't be around forever) If everything means that much to you don't go.....just go 'errrmmmm darling I DON'T THINK SO!' Hunni don't get upset you got far too much other stuff going on atm xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Status: Offline

Aug 3rd, 2009, 14:37 PM	#4
Amos2009 Other BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Alabama US Posts: 3,417	Thanks...I just don't know what to do. What is the likelihood of me getting pregnant only seeing my husband 2 times a month? Not very good...not to mention how can you have a long distance marriage??? I feel so lost

Status: Offline

Aug 3rd, 2009, 16:28 PM	#6
Amos2009 Other BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Alabama US Posts: 3,417	Thanks CS...that is so true what you said. And I am definitely not going to hurriedly make any decisions one way or the other. How are you holding up today?

Status: Offline

Aug 3rd, 2009, 16:35 PM	#8
Amos2009 Other BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Alabama US Posts: 3,417	Are you having to work while you are going through this?

Status: Offline

Aug 3rd, 2009, 17:09 PM	#10
Amos2009 Other BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Alabama US Posts: 3,417	Well, how sweet of them to tell you to get signed off... (total sarcasm) You might find that working does take your mind off it, even for a bit. I know coming back to work was rough the first few days, but then I found it gave me a little relief to be able to think and do something else. Now it's when I go home I have a problem since the house is empty.

Status: Offline

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