God I wish I knew what to write on here, theres so much going on in my mind but cant seem to find the words to describe.

Its been 3 days now since I found out my little one has died.

I think that day will stay etched in my mind forever.

I cant begin to decribe the moment I found out I was pregnant , I was so overjoyed. We had been trying for ages, both of us have been through alot over the past few months and finally we had something so precious to look forward too, something positive. The excitement was overwhelming.
It was the simple things that made the excitement so much more ie would it be a boy/girl, who would it look like, would we find out the sex at scan, when would we start buying things etc etc etc.
I found out I was pregnant at 6 weeks, and boy did I know it. morning sickness was 24 hour sickness, but even so I didnt care it would all be worth it in the end.
Routine 12 week scan was amazing, no words can describe the feeling of getting over that inital first trimester, hearing heartbeat seeing baby for first time on screen, memories I will treasure always.
Nothing can ever take those away.
12 weeks meant reassurance, everything was ok, we had passed the high risk period, kniave as it sounds but we assumed everything from there on in would be plain sailing.
Unfortunately that wasnt the case.
At 14 weeks I started to bleed and develop stomach pains. a trip to the epu and after much worry confirmed everything was ok, overwhelmed relief i felt once again I could look forward and begin to enjoy my pregnancy.
However at 15 weeks further bleeding, this time the epu werent so postive, all I really remember from that visit was the words threatened miscarriage, i was advised to go home and return a week later for further blood test to confirm hcg levels and for another scan.
Well I can honestly say that that week was the worst of my life, the unknowing was unbearable, i was so willing my little one to be a fighter and to hang in there, i clung to every last bit of hope and strength, prayed for all to be ok.
It wasnt meant to be though, last week those words your baby has died were delivered to me. Again a day i will never forget.
Nothing can describe that moment, I was numb with pain and grief, I still am, the minute those words your baby has died were said, part of me died too.
My little angel was gone, the precious child that I have carried for 17 weeks gone.
That was last week I am now awaiting an apt Thurs to go in for an induced delivery, my chance to meet my little one and say goodbye to my little one.
This wasnt how it was meant to be.
I dont know how I am going to get through the coming days weeks months, this is just the start of my journey, and a journey I know is going to be so so hard, but the one thing that cannot change and will keep me going is the fact that I am a mummy, I have been a mummy for 17 weeks and will always be a mummy to my precious child and later this week I will meet my precious child for the very first time.

oh sweetheart I am sooo sorry, there's nothing I can say that is going to make things better - we are all here if you want to talk

Oh honey I so so sorry to hear this!

i am so sorry sweetie ...

i am so sorry to hear this! will be thinking of you thursday xx

im so sorry to hear this, will be thinkin of u x

iam so sorry for your loss you ve been through so much too juch for one person sending big hugs your way xx

thinking of you hun and im here if you ever need to talk xx

Hi hunni - nothing I can say can express how sorry I feel. Please just keep talking it will get better take care xxxxx

Darling, I am so very sorry to hear your news.

I will be thinking of you.

Sending you loads of kisses and cuddles xxxx