I went back to work today, thought I was ok. (* update* 12 week scan Friday just gone no hb they said baby died 9wks - started bleeding Sat, still devastated and if I'm honest still can't believe it).

Anyway my Manager met me on the steps gave me a big hug, and asked me if I was ok and if I should be back then she asked me if it was planned..... (just because I hadn't told anyone doesn't mean we hadn't been trying), then she said "I would give anything for another baby" considering she is nearly 50 I guess time is not on her side but she made me feel terrible, I sat at my desk and couldn't think straight.

I'm work in Insolvency not the easiest job so when my boss came up with a cup of tea and said are you still ok for Thursday, I couldn't speak, (I'm supposed to be going to see another Company in trouble, probably make the workforce redundant and close the Company down), I know it's what i get paid to do, but it makes me sad at the best of times, I can't believe they haven't found someone to cover for me for this week at least.

I know that I need to get back on track but it's too soon for this, I am scared I will fall apart in front of everyone.

Sorry to waffle just had to tell someone.

Hi Hun

Just wanted to give you a BIG . I have been back at work 2 weeks now since my mmc and it is slowly getting easier. The first few days were the worst, I just wanted to break down and cry. I didnt want to carry on as if nothing had happened...cause it had and I had lost my bean !!! My boss was very understanding and let me work from home a day a week and made sure I wasn't overloaded with work cause I would not have coped otherwise.

x

aw truman, i am so sorry for your loss, cant believe you have gone back so quickly, I understand not from choice. Is there no way you can have some time off to greive your loss? Maybe you could work from home the days you dont have appointments? Your emotions must be all over the place at the mo and 9 weeks is quite far gone to miscarry so I am sure you will ideally need to be at home incase you have any pain etc....
I hope something can be sorted to give you some much needed rest time xxx

Hi Ive been back at work two and a bit weeks, I couldnt tell anyone at work due to redudancy issues etc which was really hard - but I work out on the road so its been a little easier just me the radio and the open road...

So sorry to hear about your loss!

My advice to you is take a couple weeks off sick, you need time to grieve properly hun!

If your boss is showing sign of any sympathy, maybe you should just say that even though you have chosen to come back, you are not 100% and will need a bit more time to get into the swing of things. You do have a tough job.

I took a week off, but that was mainly because to start with, they thought I had an ectopic and I was on tenterhooks waiting to see whether I would need an intervention and worrying about the risk of rupture. I emailed my boss to explain the situation but had no reply which upset me... he later claimed that he had emailed me, but I think he is lying. I returned to work to found out his wife was about to give birth, so he probably suffered from that block affliction 'this is too emotional, I don't know what to say, I'll just pretend I did...' Everyone else has been great though, sympathetic, but not overbearing.

I also went to work straight away- the day after the d/c. I was 9 weeks pregnant. Try not to push yourself too hard, but there is some positives to being at work- it helped me keep my mind off the horrible situation. I hope the people at work are a little more understanding.

Cat
xxx

I was forced back to work within 5 days of losing my son at 20 weeks, I thought I'd be okay, I thought it would get better... it didn't.

If your manager is showing any inkling of sympathy I would take as long as you need off to recover - mentally and physically.

Super big for you xxx

Thank you for all you kind comments. They are really appreciated more than you could ever know, it is nice to know that so many people care.

I logged onto my hotmail account today only to get a "congratulations you are 12 weeks pregnant" message from Bounty and a 4D scan from another website I had registered with, not their fault I know, but I felt sad again.

But you know what, I realised something today, being pregnant/a mum is a privilege it should not be taken for granted. I have two gorgeous children and I am proud of them. And..... as much as I love them I have never appreciated their presence at much as I do today. I am sorry for everyday I took them for granted and can't wait to see my son in the morning (he is at his dad's tonight) he is the best thing that ever happened to me.

I feel more positive today, and hope that a time will come when my OH will be blessed with a child of his own. He is a great father to my two, and I hope with all my heart that one day he has the chance to be a "daddy".