so i got this message....

zoe87 · Jul 11th, 2009, 08:26 AM

On facebook chatting away to my boyfriends sister who is 19 weeks pregnant and out f the blue instead of sayingg hiya how are you she says 'oo i find out next week cant wait' (meaning the sex of her baby) i thought how unsensitive is she knowing ive had 2 m/c and had to go for follow up scan to make sure my whomb was empty. Just really pissses me off how people dont think before they speak to ya. Another friend texts me saying shes decorating and sorting out the nursery... like i really want to know your just adding more depression my way.
sorry if ive ranted on or sound selfish but the truth is im jelous and it feeels like a big knife been stuck in my heart

Alexas Mommy · Jul 11th, 2009, 08:31 AM

wishing4bub#3 · Jul 11th, 2009, 08:33 AM

Massive hugs.

todteach · Jul 11th, 2009, 08:55 AM

Sending you big

UKMummy · Jul 11th, 2009, 09:38 AM

I'm afraid there is often friction between those who have lost a baby and those who are pregnant. You'll get the friends who say too much, the friends who say too little or the friends who say nothing at all. Each type is problematic. Likewise, those who are expecting don't know what to say either so it's a no win situation.....both parties probably self-absorbed in their own situation to see it from the other person's point of view. Jealousy is a very soul-destroying emotion but also very difficult to put under wraps. I'm very sorry.

sam's mum · Jul 11th, 2009, 09:39 AM

I can't believe some people could be so insensitive

x

AlwaysPraying · Jul 11th, 2009, 12:09 PM

I think a rule we ladies (and everyone really) needs to always remember is this: People generally tend to think of themselves first. The pregnant girl did and so did you. It's an awful affliction that we have, and it causes a lot of pain. It would be wonderful if she didn't say anything and was considerate, and I'm sure to her, it would be nice if you could jump for joy for her.

I've just had this happen so many times that remembering that people generally always think of themselves first, puts me at ease. Even my best friend who held my hand every moment during my terrible loss pointed out a very large pregnant woman the other day, and for no good reason, she was just really big. And me and her talk about the stupid and insensitive things people say.

((HUGS))

MzDee · Jul 11th, 2009, 12:12 PM

I'm sorry for your loss... I'm quite sure she just wasn't thinking in the midst of her excitement. Maybe if you are close enough to her, you can explain how you feel instead of harboring ill feelings towards her.

jessisamom · Jul 11th, 2009, 12:14 PM

Sorry for your loss.

zoe87 · Jul 11th, 2009, 12:18 PM

thanks everyoneee...im sort of over what she said now flash in the pan sorta thing i just desparetly want to be pregnant again.
i think u were right about women thinking of themselves 1st i mean i kno she wants me to jump for joy for her but i jus cant. ive only just brought myself to see myfriends 3 months babies... 3 months i feel terrible ive left it that long but i couldnt cope after my 2nd m/c i sank into deap depression and felt i could never bring my self round but i have and im extremley proud

Jul 11th, 2009, 08:26 AM	#1
zoe87 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Co Durham, England Posts: 1,810	so i got this message.... On facebook chatting away to my boyfriends sister who is 19 weeks pregnant and out f the blue instead of sayingg hiya how are you she says 'oo i find out next week cant wait' (meaning the sex of her baby) i thought how unsensitive is she knowing ive had 2 m/c and had to go for follow up scan to make sure my whomb was empty. Just really pissses me off how people dont think before they speak to ya. Another friend texts me saying shes decorating and sorting out the nursery... like i really want to know your just adding more depression my way. sorry if ive ranted on or sound selfish but the truth is im jelous and it feeels like a big knife been stuck in my heart

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Jul 11th, 2009, 08:31 AM	#2
Alexas Mommy Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 7,246

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Jul 11th, 2009, 08:55 AM	#4
todteach Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 2,436	Sending you big

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Jul 11th, 2009, 09:38 AM	#5
UKMummy Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Surrey UK Posts: 284	I'm afraid there is often friction between those who have lost a baby and those who are pregnant. You'll get the friends who say too much, the friends who say too little or the friends who say nothing at all. Each type is problematic. Likewise, those who are expecting don't know what to say either so it's a no win situation.....both parties probably self-absorbed in their own situation to see it from the other person's point of view. Jealousy is a very soul-destroying emotion but also very difficult to put under wraps. I'm very sorry.

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Jul 11th, 2009, 09:39 AM	#6
sam's mum Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Hampshire, UK Posts: 11,404	I can't believe some people could be so insensitive x

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Jul 11th, 2009, 08:33 AM	#3
wishing4bub#3 Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Australia Posts: 605	Massive hugs.

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Jul 11th, 2009, 12:09 PM	#7
AlwaysPraying Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: May 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 2,836	I think a rule we ladies (and everyone really) needs to always remember is this: People generally tend to think of themselves first. The pregnant girl did and so did you. It's an awful affliction that we have, and it causes a lot of pain. It would be wonderful if she didn't say anything and was considerate, and I'm sure to her, it would be nice if you could jump for joy for her. I've just had this happen so many times that remembering that people generally always think of themselves first, puts me at ease. Even my best friend who held my hand every moment during my terrible loss pointed out a very large pregnant woman the other day, and for no good reason, she was just really big. And me and her talk about the stupid and insensitive things people say. ((HUGS))

Status: Offline

Jul 11th, 2009, 12:12 PM	#8
MzDee Waiting To Try (WTT) Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 3	I'm sorry for your loss... I'm quite sure she just wasn't thinking in the midst of her excitement. Maybe if you are close enough to her, you can explain how you feel instead of harboring ill feelings towards her.
MzDee Waiting To Try (WTT) Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 3
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Jul 11th, 2009, 12:14 PM	#9
jessisamom Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Sheffield Posts: 18	Sorry for your loss.

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Jul 11th, 2009, 12:18 PM	#10
zoe87 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Co Durham, England Posts: 1,810	thanks everyoneee...im sort of over what she said now flash in the pan sorta thing i just desparetly want to be pregnant again. i think u were right about women thinking of themselves 1st i mean i kno she wants me to jump for joy for her but i jus cant. ive only just brought myself to see myfriends 3 months babies... 3 months i feel terrible ive left it that long but i couldnt cope after my 2nd m/c i sank into deap depression and felt i could never bring my self round but i have and im extremley proud

Status: Offline

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