I was out almost all day long with my friend. She wanted to go shopping for her daughter, and since she is new in town doesnt know where to go so asked me to take her.

She was trying for a year, and fell preg with her child. She knows how hard it has been for me with the 2 miscarriages.

So there we are. The baby shop.. Full of blue and pink lovely clothers; cute little pillows, play mats, dolls, teddy bears, little socks, little shoes,

Tears where hidden, I felt so bad. I felt OMG I would have had all this at home now if I wouldnt have miscarried my first time, I would have been now 34 weeks!!

Then I felt kindda tired so I sat for a while, and a cute baby bump came next to me! A lady that was preggo sat beside me and I just couldn't stop looking at her bump! She was like "Am so tired!" Then I was like "Yea, I can imagine! with that bump! how far along r u?" She was like "7 months! I just started to shop for my baby today" I was silently like "thank you, you just killed me "

I will be honest, I am still hurt, a lot.! We planned our future, and having a baby was supposed to have happened, I know it's God's will, and it's how our destiny is supposed to be, but shouldn't our turn be soon?

I hated today, I hated 2007.

Sorry about the rant.

I'm so sorry Suzan. I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like to miscarry a child. My mom went through it and she also carried her first child for 9 months only to have it pass away at one month of age. Take care and I hope you get another bfp very soon.

Well done you though hun for going shopping with your friend in a cruel and odd way its a good way of dealing/facing things.

It will be your turn I am just sorry to see how it has turned out for you so far. Your baby will be loved more than you ever would before just taking a lil more time than some. Cruel I know I hated the world! x

How I look at it and how I deal with that kind of situation is to realise that your little angels wouldn't want you to be sad. You don't have to forget it's just a case of finding your way forward. I never forget Alicia. My way of moving foward was first to name her, i have a ring with an august birthstone in (the month she was due), she has a song and I remember that I don't have to feel guilty about enjoying life because she wouldn't want me to mourn - I just never forget.

Some days it's hard and other days it's not so. I also have a blog dedicated to Alicia which helps me wind down and release all my emotions. My blog is linked below. I found editing the graphics also helped me. But I would honestly I feel so much better being able to release my feelings in a blog.

I hope you feel better soon hun!

aww suzan your time will come hun dont give up xxx

you did great going shopping tho with your friend i dont think i could have done it xxx

I'm so sorry to hear about this and I totally understand how you feel and went through something similar myself. I practically ran out of the waiting room at the EPAU two weeks ago, just a week after miscarrying myself, after a baby in the waiting room gurgled and smiled at me. The pain was so great and I had to get out of there. I'm now trying not to think how far along I would have been and it's getting easier to see babies. I'm now back to thinking "soon be my turn" instead of the pain and anger I felt just a few weeks ago seeing babies and pregnant women. Our time will come. Stay strong. x